Muzak atrocities you've heard?

[Bossy Monkey]

Today I heard "The Mayor of Simpleton" with a lilting sax handling the melody. Worst ever was John Lennon's "Imagine," post mortem. Words fail. Yours?

[zulchzulu]

1. I remember hearing Beatles' "Revolution" Muzak version once

I was in NYC on my way for an interview and the elevator music was playing a schmaltzy version of the Beatles' "Revolution" over the speakers.

Ya say you wanna revolution....well ya know...

[tekriter]

2. "Good Vibrations" played on violins...

slow enough to put you to sleep.

[NightTrain]

3. '60s-era LP: THE 101 STRINGS PLAY THE BLUES.

:puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke::puke:

[bif]

4. Ruby Tuesday

I couldn't believe my ears. I alomost puked.

[fairfaxvadem]

5. OMG!! I just heard that in our building common area!!!

Just within the last hour!!

I said to a co-worker who had complained about the muzak a few weeks back: "You know muzak has hit a new low when you hear XTC!!!"

At least I know I wasn't imagining things...

[Bossy Monkey]

9. I was figuring they deliver it via satellite radio now; this supports that

idea. I also heard it withing the last hour, at a Burger King, around 3 (Eastern).

[mopaul]

6. stairway to heaven

[Wickerman]

7. Blowing in the Wind

in an elevator in the movie Breathless, with Valérie Kaprisky with hair tousled from just arriving after a wild ride with Richard Gere. It worked, yet it was appalling - perhaps intentionally so.

[Bridget Burke]

8. Leonard Cohen's "Famous Blue Raincoat"

While sitting in a donut shop just inside Loop 610, very early in the morning.

Some years ago.

[redqueen]

16. I love that song

So much...

[Bridget Burke]

25. So do I--but not a 1001 strings instrumental version.

Sitting in an bleak Dunkin Donuts, steeling myself to go in to whatever work I was doing in those days. I thought--that Muzak sounds familiar--what could it be?

Leonard Cohen--just the way to start the day!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

10. In a Japanese shopping arcade

I heard a choral arrangement of The Camptown Races.

It sounded like about a 100-voice choir in six parts, singing The Camptown Races as if it were Handel.

The part that cracked me up was the coda: "and I bet my money on the bob. . .tailed...NAG!" (With about a 12-part chord, including the sopranos screeching on a high C or thereabouts.)

The other great moment in Asian muzak came in a small city outside of Chongqing, China one day in June, when the streetsweeping machine came along with a Good Humor man arrangement of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" emanating from its speakers.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. It was when I heard "Don't Fear the Reaper" on my grocery store's

muzak system, circa 1989 or 1990, that I knew nothing was sacred any more for the idiots who license and control the music.

[bbernardini]

12. XTC?!? Holy crap!

That's pretty cool, actually. Wouldn't mind hearing a Muzak version of "Respectable Street".

[mouse7]

13. Like a Prayer - Madonna

I'm not a Madonna fan, but damn, even she didn't deserve that.

[mouse7]

14. self-delete n/t

[mitchum]

15. "Kick Out The Jams" really took me by surprise

[bif]

28. You're not serious, are you?

n/t

[TrogL]

17. Rock xylophone music

Wrods [sic] fail me.

[amazona]

18. another Lennon song

Can't remember the title, some of the words are, "Christ, you know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be, the way things are going, they're going to crucify me."

Well, one day, in the grocery store, I heard this song done as Muzak. I was amazed. It might have been in the 70s before Lennon was killed, not sure. It was quite awhile back. I don't think I'd ever heard anything like that Muzak'd before.

[Bossy Monkey]

19. It's Ballad of John & Yoko, by his former band n/t

[robertpaulsen]

20. Do You Know the Way to San Jose

Featured in the Coen Brothers movie Fargo. Wow.

[Bossy Monkey]

21. How could you tell? (Kidding! Kidding!)

Can't say I'm the biggest fan of Bacharach/David or Dionne, however.

[BlueJazz]

22. "You're having my baby" by the Silver Strings

...Jeeee-Sus Christ !!

[Missy Vixen]

23. The Police's "Synchronicity II"

Somehow, the lyrics "and every single meeting with his so-called superior/was a humiliating kick in the crotch" just wasn't meant for Muzak.

Julie

[roguevalley]

24. stairway to heaven. I'm still quivering.

[Bossy Monkey]

27. Heck, I thought Mo was kidding! I'd be quivering, too n/t

[Zomby Woof]

26. ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man"

That just ain't right.

[T_i_B]

29. All of them

Not to mention some really horrible "polyphonic" ringtones.

[Canuckistanian]

30. Steeley Dan's "Reeling In The Years"

That was my best guess, anyways. The guitar solo done with string section was unreal.

[Wickerman]

31. Home on the range

I had to call our sister company in Japan years ago. I was placed on musical hold. In a crystal clear connection, I heard this magnificent version of Home on the Range, done with tones from the video game Pong. I was laughing hysterically when our Japan VP came on the other end of the phone. 15 years later I still chuckle thinking about it.