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I came across this joke online today so I'm sharing it with you. I didn't write the joke so don't flame me!
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You're walking down a deserted street with your spouse and two small
children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You're carrying a Smith & Wesson revolver and you are an expert shot. You
have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question. Does the man look poor or oppressed? What drove him to the level
of desperation he feels now, driving him to FEEL that he has to take from
others to make himself FEEL better? What might I have done that ever
OFFENDED him?
Could I apologize to him first, for ever having done something
that might have ever offended him, to first see if that appeases him? Have I
ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack or make him feel
VICTIMIZED? What kind of childhood did he have? Was he an underprivileged
child, having less than the rest of the kids growing up, his age, had? Could
we have created some PROGRAM that would have made him FEEL more included as
a member of society, so that he would not FEEL as though this is his only
answer? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What do the Muslims
think? What does the WORLD COMMUNITY think? What about the kids? Could I
possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
Could I just CARRY the gun without any bullets, and just show it to him, so
that he would know that I have one, but not subject my family to the
circumstances involved in really carrying a LOADED weapon? Could I just TELL
him that I have a gun, and hope that he understands, and changes his mind?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have an
appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun in the
first place, and what kind of message does this send to society and my
children and the Muslim community? Is it possible he'd be happy with just
killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content
to wound me? If he were to kill just me, or just one of my children, would
that be enough to make him FEEL better? If I were to grab his knees and hold
on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me to death? This is all
so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends and the World
Community for a few years to try to come up with a PROGRAM to deal with
these issues.
Maybe we need to consult the Australians; about how well their
NO GUNS policy has helped to keep the guns out of the hands of their
criminals, who we all know followed their law, which required them to turn
in all of their guns? I know... let's talk to Mr. and Mrs. Brady, to see
what they think we could do. After all, Mr. Brady is doing better since he
took the bullet for President Reagan, and I know he FEELS better now that
his assailant, John Hinkley, is going to be able to have unsupervised,
overnight visits with his family now. This must make Mr. Hinkley FEEL better
now, and MUCH less of a VICTIM. Maybe Mrs. Brady has some good ideas.
After all, her husband isn't a COMPLETE vegetable. I know, let's just follow her
lead, and outlaw ALL guns...INCLUDING those carried by the Police (and the
Secret Service), because after all, they only make the downtrodden FEEL more
UNCOMFORTABLE and victimized by knowing we have them to protect ourselves.
Yea. That's it. The Brits and the Australians have it. Just completely do
away with all weapons. That way, when the man with the huge knife (or
whatever) comes around the corner, with me and my family in his sights, he
won't feel so much like a VICTIM that he feels he has to raise his knife and
rob (and/or kill) me and my family. Better yet, he won't be carrying the
knife now, because he knows that all weapons have been outlawed, and he
doesn't want to break the law. And now, he will KNOW that I don't have a
weapon, and he will be far more understanding now that I am TOTALLY
defenseless, and he will just use his better judgment, and come to the
decision that it just wouldn't be right to rob or kill an unarmed citizen
and his family, and will just choose to pass us on by. Yea... that's it.
Republican's Answer: BANG!
Texan's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click click
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