Another grammar rant...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

People, when you say something that sounds like would of, it's actually WOULD'VE...the OF sound comes from the contraction of the word HAVE added to a word in your speech. God, I see it everywhere on DU and my brain feels like it's going to explode. It's not OF...its 've---its a contraction. Please, don't do this anymore. Of is a completely different word and means something completely different.
Thank you.
My name is Duckie and I approved this message. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[Political_Junkie]

1. Glad I'm not the only one...

This drives me nuts!

[aquart]

2. Feel better now?

Won't work. You have to get them much younger.

[tishaLA]

3. You should of said something earlier

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. OMG!

:nuke:

[tishaLA]

8. Glad to see you gave the appropriate reaction

Now go take on the day!

[RebelOne]

4. There are lots of grammar errors on these forums.

And I'm a copy editor, but I have just learned to ignore them. Not everyone excels in elementary grammar.

[goddess40]

6. How about using the phrase "pre-emptive war"

What were we pre-empting? The whole world, at least those with half a brain, know that there was no threat from Iraq.

[Kadie]

7. Look what I just found

http://www.stufun.com/

http://www.stufun.com/grammar/

[Finbar]

9. Some simple ules of thumb I try to remember about grammar...

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than unnecessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in
commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Profanity is for assholes.
26. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
27. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
28. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you
know."
29. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
30. Puns are for children, not for groan readers.
31. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
32. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
33. Who needs rhetorical questions?
34. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
35. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

[Paradise]

10. Finbar, i just love it! thanks :) .

for me, it's actually educational. bookmarked! :hi:

[RebelOne]

14. Too funny!

[immoderate]

26. You left out...

x. Avoid cliches like the plague!

--IMM

[Bertha Venation]

11. oh, Duckie, if you think that drives you crazy . . .

Sorry, I don't mean to start a battle of one-ups-manship, but I have to tell you of this "OF" that I saw a few weeks ago (not on DU): someone wrote (I assure you I am not shitting you) "I suffer from low self of steam."

Brownie's Honor.

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!

[SammyWinstonJack]

16. Was it bush*?

Sounds like a bushism. :evilgrin:

[Bertha Venation]

22. ROFLMAO

OMG Thank you so much! LOLOL

[YellowRubberDuckie]

19. Dear God...

Stupidity should be illegal...
Duckie

[Robb]

12. My pet peeve is peopel who cant spel

:)

[arwalden]

13. I Wood Of Said Something Sooner... But I Di-Unt No For Shur

"Oh no you di-unt!"

-- Allen

[YellowRubberDuckie]

21. Oh, Allen!

LOL That was wrong!
Duckie

[tishaLA]

15. I just broke one of my own rules

Which is to avoid pointing out stupid grammar even when it irks me. But someone just posted, "As a former prosecutor, I think Kerry would be more in touch with the folly of locking users up." Of course I knew what the poster meant, but i refused to let the misplaced modifier pass unnoticed.

Maybe it's one of those days for me.

[arwalden]

18. So who exactly was the prosecutor? Kerry or the poster? It's unclear.

[tishaLA]

20. My point exactly.

But I think the poster is a freeper anyhow. SO I expect bad grammar from it.

[arwalden]

17. How about the "ones" who put "words" in quotes for "no" apparent reason...

other than (maybe) as a replacement for emphasis such as underlining or italics. In most cases, such punctuation is clearly not intended to convey any sense of irony, or as a clue that the literal meaning of the word being used is not really what's intended.

-- Allen

P.S. Hey Duckie! What do you think about the one's who use an apostrophe to make word's plural?

[pagerbear]

23. Those are my biggest pet peeves!

[supernova]

24. That "irritates" the "life" out of me!

All those "special" words meant to "convey emphasis." :argh: :nuke:

I think this one bothers me more so than others because it's intentional. I can understand a grammar mistake: typing too fast, not a grammar maven, whatever. But you really have to work at that "" key.

:grr:

[Rhiannon12866]

25. I know. The grammar and misspellings drive me nutty sometimes,

as well. I used to be a professional writer. But I try to take it all in stride. It's the thought that counts, right?:shrug:

[immoderate]

27. Here are some that I see alot anymore.

--IMM

[JohnLocke]

28. You all...

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame31.html

[Donkeyboy75]

29. "Your and you're" - learn when to use which!

You're is a contraction of "you are." "Your" is a possessive.

:nuke:

[Triple H]

30. Woah....

"Of", "have," same difference. :)

Nothing to get annoyed about, IMO.

[neverborn]

31. Using Nouns As Verbs -- HATE!

[HEyHEY]

32. Bah!

It's been used enough in North American English that "would of" officially counts a slang. ;-)