A Canadian Apologizes To America

[Cuban_Liberal]

A Canadian Apologizes To America

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rick Mercer's Apology to the USA

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't
nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's
a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all
it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you,
Rick Mercer

:P

[morningglory]

1. Touche, CubLib! n/t

[glarius]

26. Kicking this because of what I heard this morning which shocked me

I'm kicking this thread again because of something I heard this morning on CNN...The American who escaped from his Iraqi captors, Thomas Hamill, was apparently working for the Halliburton subsidiary KBR, in order to earn money to pay for his wife's heart surgery....This is unthinkable to anyone in Canada, or most other western democracies....Our universal health care covers everything, including the most expensive, complicated surgery. I know people who have had it (the surgery, I mean.)...When I heard the report this morning about Mr. Hamill, I was reminded of this thread and the comment by poster #8. I answered his ridiculous statement then...I'm not saying "see what we have and you don't", I'm saying I pray for you good American people to have a similar health care system, where you are all looked after without financial hardship.....:loveya:

[glarius]

2. This was from over a year ago....Mercer is a comedian/politcal commentator

up here....He's a Newfoundlander, with a Newfie's sense of humour and way with words and most of what he does is tongue in cheek...;)

[TreasonousBastard]

12. Older than that...

and I remember it caused a bit of a stir amongst the wingnuts when I saw it somewhere else.

I remember someone in that tossup had the sigline: "As Canadian as I can be under the circumstances."

[terrya]

24. Didn't Mercer do a show asking Americans what they knew about Canada...

and things Canadian?

Mhy b/f (from Saskatchewan, currently living in Toronto) mentioned it.

[glarius]

25. Yes...It was called "Talking to Americans" and was quite funny!

n/t

[Screaming Lord Byron]

30. He is also possibly the finest satirist in North America.

[Pithlet]

3. lol

I especially liked the last part.

[timdoodle]

4. Softwood Lumber

is being dumped by Canada into the US and is cheaper because of government subsidies. Sorry, this is a personal issue. The rest of the article was funny.

[TrogL]

18. I hear housing starts are down

because there's not enough lumber to go around.

Sounds like a seller's market.

[muriel_volestrangler]

5. Another non apology here

from The Guardian's message board. I think this is genius.

In reply to a topic "Stop calling Bush stupid":
http://talk.guardian.co.uk/WebX?[e-mail]3exWqSqx.3@.685f3070/18
slacker - 05:43pm Apr 6, 2004 BST (#19 of 89)
You people haven't properly entered the spirit of this thread.

You're all still calling Bush stupid. The point is not to call Bush stupid, or indeed, imply Bush is stupid. Stupid Bush? No, not anymore. We're not to call Bush stupid. Stupidity and Bush, Bush and stupidity, whichever way you prefer it, should not be in the same sentence.

Unless it's to counter the statement that Bush is stupid. 'Bush is stupid', without negation, is not to be said on this thread. No more stupid Bush. Bush + stupid = NO. Bush? Stupid? Not in the same sentence. Or separate ones, if they still call Bush stupid.

'Fuckwit' is bang out of order. Saying Bush is a fuckwit is like saying Bush is really, really stupid. Like, Bush is so stupid he's gone beyond stupidity and entered fuckwitednes. Which is not what we're saying on this thread - we're not saying Bush is a stupid fuckwit.

We really shouldn't mention the fact that Bush is an election stealer either. Or that Bush is a liar. That's like calling Bush stupid, or a fuckwit. So "Bush: a stupid, lying election-stealing fuckwit" is not a sentence we want to see.

No more Bush. He's stupid and a liar and stole the election. The fuckwit.

Oops! Got the punctuation wrong. I meant to say:

No more "Bush? He's stupid and a liar and stole the election, the fuckwit!".

Ok

[Melsky]

6. LOL

I've read this numerous times, and it always cracks me up.

[AmericanErrorist]

7. Slight Clarification

This was Colin Mocherie who did the bit in "This Hour Has 22 Minutes", in the place of Rick Mercer, who now has his own show.

[bruce21040]

8. He forgot to apologize

For the well to do Canadians taking space in our medical facilities because the waiting line for their universal health care is so long.

But, I suppose we can forgive him for that.

[HawkerHurricane]

10. Maybe he considers us even...

for the large number of Americans sneaking across the border to get free health care.

[glarius]

13. That's untrue.....

Any who go there are welcomed with open arms by your "medical facilities" because they are paid promptly by our government for all bills....Don't believe the phony story about the long waiting lines here....We are well served with our universal health care...There are problems here and there which are being worked on, but it is VASTLY SUPERIOR to the mess you have down there....My husband, who had blocked arteries and diabetes, can testify to the excellent and timely care he has had...

[strategery blunder]

17. Yeah, what good does healthcare do if you can't pay for it, eh? (nt)

[bruce21040]

19. What Mess do we have here?

If I need to see a doctor, I simply go. My insurance covers it.
If I need medication, I just get it. My insurance covers it.
If I need the emergency room, no problem, covered.
operation? covered.

My cost for this is less than it would be under universal health care.
There are other problems that would be introduced with a government run program also, but I can not go into them for fear of being booted from this forum.

[glarius]

20. All the things you mentioned apply here...We ALL HAVE THESE

services....Not just a small percentage of privileged people...Do you think I don't know about the 45 millions of you who have NO INSURANCE AT ALL!...I don't know your reason for spewing this garbage in a thread that was intended as humour, but I guess you propoganda spreaders use any opportunity you can to spread your dirt....It really is pretty dumb for you to try to convince a nation of 33 million people that we don't like our health care....I pray that sooner or later your own country will be blessed with universal health care too, despite people like you....
Incidentally, my husband was treated by a world reknowned heart surgeon in Toronto....cost to us...nil....
And now I'm off to bed.....

[southpaw]

29. Looks like your fears are about to be realized!!!

Adios, asshole.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

34. Yep, he's gone.

Such a shame.

[southpaw]

37. I notice that brucie's profile shows his tombstone...

yet his posts are still visible...

Don't they normally show as 'deleted' when someone gets nuked?

Is this a new development?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

38. Hmm. Don't know. Let them stand as a testament to his moronity.

[strategery blunder]

31. And what insurance premium are you paying?

Doesn't sound cheap.

'Less than it would be under universal health care?' Are you a civil servant or something? Does your employer cover 100% of your premium? Not all of us have that privelege.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

33. 'but I can not go into them for fear of being booted from this forum'

Have the courage of your convictions man! Otherwise, why should we bother with you?

[CrownPrinceBandar]

39. Hey Bruce..............

I don't have health insurance. Can I get in on some of your action? I really need to get a cavity filled and get a physical. :mad:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

32. I think you mean the rich queue jumpers who refuse to wait a day.

You might want to check your facts there.

[SuffragetteSal]

9. Very nice Rick...thanks!

You forgot to be sorry that so many of us (Americans) lack a sense of humor...it's not your fault...some of us our working on it.

[bubblesby2002]

11. I second that apology

Thanks for posting it Cuban_Liberal

[glarius]

14. I'm kicking this because poster #8 made a statement that's NOT TRUE

It looks like another attempt to portray Canada's health care as being a failure....IT IS NOT! 95% of Canadians say they want to keep it...Unless you believe that our whole nation is stupid, then don't make statements inferring it is not satisfactory....This is a sore spot with me...Periodically I see right wingers on American TV talking about our "socialized medicare" which they say the most ridiculous things about....I have family, born and living in the United States who tell me horror stories of outrageous medical bills they have had to pay for care that we get as a matter of course...Not just Canada, but most of the other democracies in the world have similar health care.....End of rant...:)

[Pithlet]

15. Great rant!

It still burns me that we don't have a similar system here.

[Melsky]

21. not to mention

if you have to go to an emergency room in the US, they are crowded with people who are uninsured, as you are not allowed to turn people away from an emergency room.

[ironflange]

16. American beer is no worse than Canadian beer

Both countries have their weasel-piss beer made for mass consumption. Canadian or Blue is no better than Bud or Miller, despite the stupid claims of the latest "I Am Canadian" ad campaign.

OTOH, both lands have plenty of very very good small breweries, who make the only beer worth drinking. Deschutes, Big Rock, Anchor, Granville. . . YUM!

yummy good beer drinker -------> :beer:

weasel piss beer drinker --------> :silly:



Howerver, don't get me started on American hot dogs, at least the supermarket kind.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

35. Should I tell you that Big Rock are major donors to Ralph Klein?

Or would that spoil it for you? :evilgrin:
Seriously, great beer though.

[camero]

22. I sure know my history

I thought the British burned the White House down.

[HawkerHurricane]

23. Canada was part of England at the time.

So, maybe he feels guilty about it.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

27. Ahhhh, I see. The British outsourced the job then. (nt)

[Hand]

28. Interesting side note to this...

Did you know that in Canadian schools and media it's taught that CANADA won the War of 1812? Why? Well, because US forces tried to invade early on and got their butts seriously kicked. It's axiomatic here that Canada won, America lost. Weird, huh?

:hi:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

36. Well, Britain not England. It was a Scottish officer who did the deed.