My parents have just ruined my life

[Mass_Liberal]

hey. I'm 15... my parents have just told me that we're moving. Again. For the sixth fucking time in my not so long life. I had finally established friendships, and had gotten used to , and fallen in love with my home. And now they've just killed that. My friends just randomly noticed a FOR SALE sign on my house. They all started calling... looking for answers. And I don't know what to tell them. Goddamnit.



Note: Moving from Boston area to NYC.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. i am very sorry

moving is rough and depressing....leaving all your friends behind is very difficult...trust me...been there hated it

[salinen]

2. That sucks

but, people who move often, I've noticed, for some reason, seem to do well in life. Maybe it's that you must humble yourself to make new acquaintances.

[StephNW4Clark]

3. Hey - I've been in the same boat.

Moved 8 times before 10th grade in high school.

And now, being all of 24, I can see its advantages beyond its drawbacks. God, I know it sucks - trust me, I can just go back to all the diary entries strewn with exclamation marks and foul words ;)

But it broadens your experience - really - and it makes you more adaptable, flexible and open-minded (well, unless you're moving around crazy ass Republican states/counties).

The most important thing now is to stay in touch with your friends. Trust me, those who you like the most and conversely miss you the most will be the ones you want to keep anyway.

Good luck with the move.

[starroute]

16. A lot of my friends were in that situation when they were kids

I noticed years ago that many of the most interesting, lively-minded, creative people I knew were former military brats. That seemed like a paradox, until I realized it must be the result of having moved around so much and lived in so many different places. Another couple were from families that had moved a lot for employment reasons.

So, yes, it does suck, but it won't ruin your life.

[tjwash]

23. It sucks, but you know what...

...when you are an adult, you are going to have an uncanny knack for getting along with everyone, and people will be completely bewildered as to where it came from. You are also probably going to be a much more well rounded person than anyone who will stay put. Go to your thirtieth high school reunion and see...

[billybob537]

4. Where to?

[Bunny]

5. Sheesh hon, I'm sorry.

That's bad news. Any idea why? Your folks in the military, or is this a move up the career ladder for one of them?

Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a tough age to be uprooted. Call on your friends at DU for emotional support.:grouphug:

[Mass_Liberal]

9. nah

they're teachers. One was tired of commuting. The other one got a job offer. They deserve to improve their jobs. I'm being kinda selfish in all of this. But I can't help it.

[madmax]

13. You're a sweetheart

Your post tells me what kind of person you are. :hug:

And I don't think you're being selfish. Just being a normal 15 year old. Here's another :hug:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. Don't see loss...

See potential opportunity. Do you know what you will find in your new home? What new friends and associations you will make? What new, previously-unconsidered opportunities will present themselves?

Of course you don't. If you leave your mind in your old home, you never will, either. A great adventure awaits. Embrace it.

Where are you moving to?

[TroubleMan]

7. Don' by default blame your parents

We're in a Bush economy and your parents are lucky just to have jobs.

I'm guessing they're moving because of a job, too. If that's so, then it's so they can give you a better life.

It's tough, but I'm sure you'll make new friends.

[Mass_Liberal]

10. sort of... but its tough

they already have really good and secure jobs. They can easily afford to send me to college and whatnot without moving. But they want to... for various reasons I outlined in another reply. Thats why its so annoying. Its not something they HAVE to do. Its something they WANT to do.

[Pallas180]

8. How bout telling them your dad has to move for a better job because

this is a lousy economy under Bush?

or telling them the exact reason you do have to move.

Your life is not ruined. You will make more friends and see new places and have much more experience than other people your age who
have never been anyplace.

How about writing down all the positive things about moving?

[Demonaut]

11. I know what its like, one thing I gained from moving a lot was to adapt

quickly and learn to make friends easily, the only thing I hate is now when asked my hometown I really dont have an answer.

[skooooo]

12. At least your moving to NYC!!

You should be excited about that. It's a great place -- and you'll be there in time, maybe for the RNC! You can see all the protests.

[Dookus]

14. Sorry..

it sucks to leave your friends.. but DUDE!! New York City!!!!

I grew up on Long Island, and at your age, I *LOVED* going into the city. Did it at every opportunity. Believe me, you'll fall in love with NY.

[MissMillie]

15. I feel for ya

I wanted to move to a different town, but didn't because my son only has 2 years left to go until he graduates. I didn't want to pull him away from his friends and from his JROTC unit.

Now I wished I'd done it... it turns out he's failing English this year.

Mind you, he's perfectly capable of passing this course. It just wasn't important enough to him. Now I'm gonna have to figure out how to get him to and from summer school (I work 45 miles away).

I don't mind making his wishes important to me, but how could anything have been more important than passing his classes?

[chaska]

17. Ah, moving. A not so subtle (though unintentional) form of child abuse.

Been there. My experience is just the opposite of Demonaut. I think it made me tentative and fearful of new situations. Everybody's different though. Good luck to you. It could be worse. It's NYC at least.

[sandnsea]

18. 13 schools, 13 years

I hear ya' sweetie. You will make friends, you will get used to it. Make sure you've got a cell phone with free minutes! Maybe you'll meet the love of your life the first week in NYC! Hang in there.

[Sophree]

19. I've been there, too.

It's hard. Buck up, though. Hey, now you'll be closer to the Repug convention protest!

You'll be fine, hon. :-)

[Teddy_Salad]

20. Don't be down..

....be excited.

I know it's different and can be difficult for someone your age but moving can also be a lot of fun.
I've moved a lot, all over the world and it's always exciting.

Remember, you will always be 'friends' with your true friends and you will gain new ones and new experiences.

Plus, you're moving to a great city.

Hope it all works out.

:hug:

[asjr]

21. 14 different schools before I got to

high school. And I wouldn't trade a minute of it for all the world. I learned a lot about the world in those years.

[welshTerrier2]

22. maybe you'll go to college in Boston

there's tons of really good schools here ...

stay in touch with your friends in Mass ... i'll bet many of them end up going to school in the area ... NY to Boston is only about 3 hours by bus ... weekend visits would be easy ...

sorry to hear your news ... while i understand that sometimes people have to move because of their jobs, it doesn't sound like your folks gave much consideration to your feelings ...

[Cuban_Liberal]

24. 5 grade schools, 2 high schools here.

I feel ya, bro. :hug:

[fishnfla]

25. some platitude to make you feel better

my asswipe of a partner always says this when times get tough:

did you know that the japanese have the same word for "crisis" as "opportunity" ?

now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

On the other hand, New York City......cool.

[Mass_Liberal]

26. For all those who have talked about NYC

For the record: I love NY. I lived there as a young kid. The problem is that I'll be going into a new high school as a sophomore. I won't know anybody or have any friends. Thats really the problem with this. I love NYC, I just don't want to lose irreplacable friends.

[Skittles]

27. sweetie pie

I moved thirteen times the first eighteen years of my life (GI brat). Sure it sucks but you just have to learn to make the best of it. You may not know it but you are learning a lot of skills that set you apart from others. Try not to dwell on the negatives. It's different now - way back then, we had no internet or cell phones or cheap long distance. It's much easier to keep in contact now.

Your parents are doing what they feel they need to do. Do not make it harder on them. When I was 14 my dad was committed to a mental institution and my mother sent me away to my aunt (from England to Iowa). Believe me, your life is NOT RUINED. Your life has only just started.

[classics]

28. This is too funny.

Cant stop laughing. Nice one.

[UrbScotty]

29. WTF?!

The least they should have done is consulted you!

Sigh.

[SarahB]

30. Oh man, I was you!!!

Well a female version of course. My parents, although very educated, professional type of people had similar chaos. I lived in 9 or 10 places as a child. They divorced when I was 6 and spent years on and off long distance or moving to be together for short periods. When I was 14, my mom's brother died and my dad came out for the funeral. A week later, they decided "life was too short" and got married. This was just before I started high school and by the end of my first year, my mom and I had to move from the midwest (where I primarily grew up) to Connecticut (where my dad was). So I started 10th grade at yet another school, where I didn't quite fit in really (because largely my upbringing lead to no roots or family support because they were so self-consumed). High school had some good points. It was hard at times, but it could have been worse. My main issue was a very unhappy homelife because of their problems and communication issues and I got to be their perpetual scapegoat so of course it didn't take much more than a year before they divorced again once I left home.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant, but I truly, truly understand what it was like to go through this. Hopefully, your parents have it together a bit more than mine did, but I empathize with what you're going through so much. I hope things turn out well and in a few short years, you thankfully be able to make more of your own choices.

[Reverend_Smitty]

31. Looks like alot of DUers were in the same boat

I'm no exception. I was in 8 different schools between K and 7. Finally settled down in High School, but it definitely made me very adaptable to new situations. I find that I meet friends very quickly...moving has given me the ability to think on my feet. Keep your chin up, NYC rocks!

Also had to deal with divorced parents and believe me, splitting up summer vacation sucked!

[patriotvoice]

32. Don't move.

Beside your parents' commandment, there is likely no reason why you necessarily must move.

Take up a job in Boston. Ask your parents for a small stipend each month. Get an apartment. Continue to go to school.

Your parents will likely pay less in stipend than otherwise supporting you. You get valuable life experience early on (and I can think of few better cities than Boston to do that). It's only a short hop from (eg) Logan to LaGuardia, so there could be relatively frequent visits.

I moved out when I was 14 to go to school. I lived on campus, but I had a job, was far away from the parents, and learned enormously beneficial skills. Best thing I ever did.

Incidentally, where at in the Boston area? Bedford, Cambridge, etc.?

On edit:
Grammar.

[BiggJawn]

33. That sucks, but you know what?

When you're 25 and out of college heading for your first REAL job 1/2 way across the country (or the world) it won't seem like such a big deal.

My daughter thought I had totally deatroyed her life by moving from downtown Indianapolis (she found the Goth Scene) to Outer Bumfukia, land of cornfields and not much else.

Now she's in her 20's, living in Chicago and Livin' Large.

Not much consolation for you now, but you'll survive and thrive.

NYC....Man, I hear you can get ANYTHING you want to eat ANYTIME of day there!

[Feanorcurufinwe]

34. Ugh I feel for you.

I hated being at the mercy of my parents.

[MI Cherie]

35. Another point of view …

… when I was a little younger than you, my parents wanted to move. I cried and begged them not to. Unfortunately, they gave into me and did not move.

Thirty-something years later, I still regret it — I would have gone to a better school (academically, opportunities and amenities) and would have had a huge bedroom instead of the glorified closet I grew up with. (Years later, I met someone who lived in the home “that could have been!”)

The friends I thought I couldn't live without, couldn't wait to move away and I rarely hear from them. The last Class Reunion was canceled due to lack of interest!

All these years later, I still feel guilty because I made my parents stay in that small, old house till the days that they died. They lived there for over fifty years and put lots of money and sweat equity into it to totally renovate it — probably almost as much as it could sell for today.

Now, what goes around comes around: We are ready to get out of the city and our kids, who are your age, are not overly enthused about moving to “hicksville” land.