For Sale: Young man to satisfy your most perverse pleasures

[Mandate My Ass]

Ht: About 5 ft. 8 in.

Cute with body art. House trained. Eager to please the right owner.

Ready to deliver in about 1 week. Price is negotiable.

Bwaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa!

[ForrestGump]

1. Trading up?

Don't forget about the optional packages....

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. Slightly used, eh?

;-)

[Mandate My Ass]

3. Still alot of good mileage

left on this baby.

[Lady Freedom]

4. How do he take to...

whips and chains? :evilgrin:

[Mandate My Ass]

7. He's amenable

I'm willing to wager alot on that. }(

[Lady Freedom]

11. On a scale from 1-10...

how is he at plesuring a woman?

[Mandate My Ass]

17. I'll have to let ya know

but I wouldn't expect you to buy without taking a test drive first.

[Lady Freedom]

20. What about the body?

Will I need to put some work in to fix him up?



do I sound like I'm buying a car or what! hehehe! me like!:evilgrin:

[Mandate My Ass]

23. No visible dents or rust

No previous major collisions. I'll throw in some fine Corinthian leather if that's what it takes to close the deal. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

25. I don't know....

I have a pretty good offer down lower on the post...:think:

[Lady Freedom]

36. Well yours...

slip out of handcuffs?

[SOteric]

5. He doesn't happen to be

the poster known herein as "angka," does he?

[Mandate My Ass]

6. He posts here

but I cannot spill the beans on his identity until the sale is complete.

[prolesunited]

8. Why are you

getting rid of him?

[Mandate My Ass]

10. Hmmmmmm ... well

He figgered out my evil intentions so I have to hunt for more unsuspecting prey. He's a smart one, he is.

[rasputin1952]

9. I knew I shouldn't have clicked in here...

makes me feel old and washed up.

Since my testicles have turned to dust, I tend to avoid these femme fatale posts....but still, I needed to see who was here...ahhh, the memories!

:evilgrin:

[short bus president]

12. *SNARF*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

ROFLMAO!

Oh, man... that's got my eyes watering... omigawd... my ribs hurt...

:7

[Mandate My Ass]

18. Psssssssst get a hold of yourself, man

I can't sell a drippy, runny, dishevelled, weak-sided giggler.

I promised a lean, mean pleasuring machine.

[ForrestGump]

13. While you've got a crowd here

:-)

I'll undercut her price! Call me....


(check out this rugged tank-top action!)

[Mandate My Ass]

15. Rugged

and not the suspicious type. Me likes.

[ForrestGump]

19. Mama always said

you've got to know your own value.

Plus tax.

[Lady Freedom]

16. Whats the miles on you?

And what kind of tune up may you need?

[ForrestGump]

21. Not much mileage in the last while, so

I'd probably better get my timing checked, an emissions test, and perhaps have a bit of attention paid to my crankshaft.

After that, I'm fairly low maintenance. :-)

Very economical, too. But if yuo want to go out into the wilds, for that rough ride, I can also handle that. :o

Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah!

[Lady Freedom]

22. How your body?

Do I need to work on you?

[ForrestGump]

24. Well, at LEAST a good, vigorous polishing

a couple of times a day.... :-)

[Lady Freedom]

26. How well...

do you handle handcuffs and whiped cream?

[ForrestGump]

30. Well, the whipped cream helps me

slide out of the handcuffs. I'm pretty good at getting out of slippery spots. :D

[Lady Freedom]

33. Slip out of the handcuffs???!!!!

well there a - ! hehe!

[SOteric]

27. What if my perverse pleasures

are pretty much limited to getting my dryer fixed, changing the oil in my car and having someone do my yardwork...?

[short bus president]

28. You don't need a man

You need Sears.

[ForrestGump]

32. That's a searing indictment

Totally uncalled for! You Saks maniac!

[short bus president]

35. Well, technically,

Isn't Esso more the "Lloyd's, of London" type?

;-)

[ForrestGump]

31. Um...yardwork I can do!

I'd have to subcontract out for the other stuff. But I know how to set a VCR clock and timer, and I'm good with leaving toilet seats and lids down.

What else.....oh, I could probably handle the car. I mean, it's just like a four-wheeled motorcycle, right?

[SOteric]

34. Sadly....

"What else.....oh, I could probably handle the car. I mean, it's just like a four-wheeled motorcycle, right?"

Yes.

[0rganism]

14. Does he do light housework? Is he good with children?

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children, now for those of you who are new, my name is (writes on the board) Mr. Garrison.

Butters: Where is Mr. Hat, sir?

Mr. Garrison: Well, I was informed that fourth graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.

Kyle: (rolls his eyes) Two-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat.

Mr. Garrison: But it's okay because I found a new teacher's assistant. Say hello to... (the door opens again) Mr. Slave. (a strapping man enters. He wears a pink shirt, pale blue jeans; black leather vest, chaps and boots; police hat, strong jaw and moustache, and pouty lips)

Mr. Slave: (preens) Hi kids. Hm.

Mr. Garrison: So that's (writes on the board) Mr. Slave. (Mr. Slave poses) The teacher's assitant. (Mr Slave smoothes his moustache, then his hat) Or, as I like to write for short, the Teacher's Ass.

Mr. Slave: (throws his arms forward) Oh Jesus Christ.

Mr. Garrison: Okay, Mr. Slave. Go sit until I need you. (Mr. Slave goes to sit down. Garrison spanks him as he passes by)

Mr. Slave: Ugh.

Cartman: (leans towards Craig, who pays attention) Dude, I think that Mr. Slave guy might be a... (glances back) Pakistani.

From SP episode 6.14, "The Death Camp of Tolerance"

[KCDem]

29. I can offer you a trade-in!

Ht.: about 5' 5"

No body art, eager to please, ready to deliver immediately.

Oh, and good earning potential. Really knows his lubricants.

Tolerates cats. Brews his own (aka... sorta useful, but you'll have to mow the lawn.)