Help, I need some bu$h jokes

[blindpig]

something I can use to awaken/annoy a young repub who works for my girlfriend. She's a pretty nice kid, just totally out of touch.

[bif]

1. Send her the cartoon I did...

[blindpig]

3. thanks

but I need oral stuff. She answers the phone at Tam's shop.

[Delano]

2. The best part of Dumbya

ran down ole' Barbara's leg!


ba-dump-ump!

[Raster]

4. hmm... bush jokes... well, let's see...

...condi, rummie, colon blow, karen (nursemaid to the beast) huge, uhmmm... WMD, poodle blair, pickles... We could just go on and on. There are SO MANY busk jokes. My all-time favorite is that he was elected president!!! OMG, just gotta laugh at that one!

[bif]

5. Here's one

A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell
sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is
a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WWIII. And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman!!! Why kill a bicycle repairman?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, dummy! I told you no one would
worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

[blindpig]

8. that's the ticket! n/t

[TreasonousBastard]

6. Couple I maybe saw here...

Bush dies and meets St. Peter.

"So, I should move right in, eh?"

"Not so fast. It's not quite the way you heard-- you have a choice whether heaven or hell."

So, they take a tour of heaven, and Bush isn't all that thrilled with sitting on a cloud playing the harp with hothing but Kosher wine to drink.

"OK, what's Hell like?"

After a long elevator ride, Bush walks out into the subnshine and sees all his friends playing golf, drinking Scotch, and having a good old time.

"Not Bad."

"And," St, Peter walks him over to a door, "this will be your room."

Inside is Bill Clinton sitting on a huge lether easy chair watching videos of executiuons with Monica on her knees doingwhat she does best.

"I'll take it ! This beats heaven by a Texas mile."

"OK, Monica, you can get up now. Your replacement's here."

<ba-DOOM>

Gore dies and gets to the pearly gates. During a short tour of heaven, he sees a huge wall of clocks.

"What are these?"

"The lie clocks. Everyone has one-- every time you tell a lie it moves up a minute."

"Who's this one at 12 o'clock?"

"That's Mother Theresa, who never told a lie."

"And this, at three minutes after?"

"Lincoln, who only told three lies."

"So, where's Bush's clock?"

"Jesus has it in his room. Using it as a ceiling fan."

[blindpig]

10. now we're cooking with C40! n/t

[RobertSeattle]

7. Dubya arrives in Hell. (My favorite, but is R rated...)

and is told by Satan that he'll have to spend eternity in one of three rooms. He opens the door to the first room and Dubya sees a room full of souls being tortured in ways that are unspeakable. They visit the 2nd room and, again, very unpleasant things are going on. They visit the 3rd room and there is Bill Clinton sitting on a chair, being sucked off by Monica Lewinsky. Dubya says, "Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I'll stay here", at which point Satan says, "OK, Monica, your time's up. Get lost!"

[JM]

9. The George W. Bush Presidential Library burned to the ground

yesterday. Both books were destroyed. When interviewed, President Bush said he was most upset that he hadn't finished coloring the second book yet.

JM

[zbdent]

11. What were the best three years of George Bush's life?

He can't remember either.