Just gotta love them fundies;

[greiner3]

Botanists Making Great Strides In Stem Research

August 31, 2005 | Issue 41•35

ST. LOUIS—Plant researchers continue to report impressive discoveries in stem research, the Botanical Society Of America announced in a position paper released Monday. "Using existing stem lines, we are closer than ever to finding cures for Dutch elm disease and soft rot," said lead researcher Mary Leisgard. Pro-plantlife groups oppose the research, arguing that the stems represent potential life. "Every stem, whether it has taken root and sprouted leaves or not, is a miracle from God," said botany activist Phyllis Bergher. "What these stems need is soil, moisture, and the chance to grow into full-fledged flora as God intended."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40085

[ret5hd]

1. uhhh...you know the onion is satire, right?

[baldguy]

4. They're still closer to the truth than most of the MSM.

[Ezlivin]

2. I stopped mowing my lawn

You could almost hear the cries of pain as the grass had its heads lopped off.

I'm also a member of a radical Pro-plantlife group called "Seeds of Freedom." We break into facilities and free captive seeds, setting them wild.

Johnny Appleseed was our founding member.

[jeff30997]

3. LOL!

There's so many weirdos out-there that I almost bough it.:rofl:

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. It's The Onion

Here's another article:

Report: Our High Schools May Not Adequately Prepare Dropouts For Unemployment

August 3, 2005 | Issue 41•31

WASHINGTON, DC—A Department of Labor report released Monday finds that America's high schools are not sufficiently preparing emerging dropouts for the demands of unemployment.
Enlarge ImageReport: Our High Schools May Not Adequately Prepare Dropouts For Unemployment

Future jobless Americans between classes at Oakes High School.

In a letter introducing the report, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao explained that schools routinely fail to impart dropouts with the critical lying- and sitting-around skills they need to thrive in today's jobless market.

"Our public high schools place too much focus on preparing kids for professional careers," Chao said. "This waste of resources leaves our dropouts, the majority of whom have no chance of ever finding a job, wholly unprepared to sleep till 1 p.m., or watch daytime television while eating ramen noodles out of an upturned Frisbee."

According to the study, America's weakest academic performers also drop out of high school without ever having learned to steal beer money from their housemates' change jars or wash their hair with bar soap.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25367

[flvegan]

6. We vegans can't be in the same room with the botany activists.

It's like Bloods/Crips, Hell's Angels/Outlaws and The Warriors/Baseball Furies all rolled into one. Most of us don't believe in violence, but those pro-plant folks are zealots.

[daleanime]

7. Rumble!

lol...