First U.S. civil-union couple calls it quits

[Deja Q]

http://www.gay.com/news/article.html?sernum=2005/12/16/1&coll=news_articles&navpath=channels/news

Carolyn Conrad and Kathleen Peterson's relationship became official just minutes after civil unions for gay couples became the law of the land in Vermont on July 1, 2000. The two had been together five years prior to their ceremony. They had met on a hiking trip.

Conrad and Peterson refused to comment on why they were asking the Brattleboro court to dissolve their union. However, court records show that Conrad had filed for a protective order against Peterson this week, and that the judge granted it. The record states that Conrad feared for her own safety after Peterson threatened to hurt a friend. She also punched a hole in the wall during an argument this summer. Peterson must now stay at least 100 feet away from Conrad at all times.

Thanks. Everything we've worked for has been trashed. Time for me to update the ol' personal ad...

And no doubt Britney Spears will still end up getting more cred than any of us, what with her string of 55-hour marriages, getting knocked up and then whining about how bad it is for HER, and so on (I feel sorry for her offspring, and I'll leave it at that...).

(if this is in the wrong forum, feel free to move it.)

[xultar]

1. Sounds like a pretty normal US relationship. Now don't ge tme wrong

I know how the wingnuts will look @ it but technically they can't say shit. I see fundie fuckers on Jerry Springer all the fuckin time.

[Jawja]

2. Hell hath no fury

like a woman scorned. :evilgrin:

[cassandra uprising]

3. What do you mean

that "everything we've worked for has been trashed"?

on edit:

If anything this sad case only illustrates (to rif on bell hooks) how domestic violence is a pat euphemism for what it should really be called which is patriarchal violence. As long as we live in a patriarchal society where violence is used as as tool for control, violence will occur between couples whether they be hetero or same sex.

[Beam Me Up]

7. Really.

:eyes:

Sorry Toad but jumping to that conclusion is a bit OTT.

[Deja Q]

9. Simple. We could have shown we're better. But we didn't.

And I say "we" because we're indirectly guilty too.

Heck, I'd have stayed together and live a long coupled life just to prove the het bigots with their stereotypes wrong.

And this incident also adds to their belief gays are not ready for marriage.

And an outside-the-box thought: We can fight and fight and fight but if we don't follow up then we're not ready.

I'm also gay (bi-curious, but predominantly gay) so there's no need to play the "homophobic card". :( I'm sure there are plenty of others, however.

[Telly Savalas]

11. 1 same-sex divorce compared to how many opposite-sex divorces?

It's sad to see the break-up of any family, but I think you're setting the bar kinda high.

[cassandra uprising]

12. Please correct me if I misinterpreting you,

do you mean that they should have stayed in an abusive relationship in order to prove that gays are less effected by patriarchal violence than their hetero counterparts?

For me, I find the issue of their security more important than their sexuality. The issue I raised (on edit) is the pervasiveness of violence in our culture. Their relationship shouldn't only be viewed in the context of the cause and the fight for equal rights.

[Yupster]

10. So a woman - woman relationship breaks up

and it's still the man's fault?

Some woman comedian used to tell a joke something to that efect. Something like if your husband says something and you don't hear him, is he still wrong?

[cassandra uprising]

14. I take it you're being sarcastic.

Violence is a tool (and i think learned behavior) used for used for coercive domination. A need to dominate and use coercive force is systemic in our sexist patriarchal culture. Men are subjugated to this along side women.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

15. To the Moon, Alice!

http://www.emuck.com:3000/aotw/tomoon.jpg

[Robert Cooper]

4. Don't let it get you down...

Het divorce rates are around 50% for first timers.

One dissolved union isn't even a drop in the bucket by comparison.

Chin up.

:grouphug:

[Fovea]

5. Do not despair

The failure of one love affair is not the failure of love, but the frailty of one bond.

There will be many marriages that last, between many different couples.

The difficulty of one pair of lovers does nothing to the power of love. If I have faith in anything, it is that the force of love is stronger than fear, greater than anger, more eternal than death itself.

Love will triumph in the end, no matter what it must suffer-- it cannot be extinguished forever from the human soul.

Blessed be,
RealP

[tjdee]

6. Maybe America has been saved now?

I mean, since gay marriage is destroying America, gay divorce heals it?

/sarcasm

I wouldn't worry too much. There are plenty of very happy gay couples that are together for life. If Conrad feels unsafe, she should be allowed to keep herself safe without having to worry about what it looks like to the outside world.

[Tactical Progressive]

8. It may in a strange way help perceptions

Gay marriage subject to the same personal stresses that hetero marriage is. Divorce and all. Nothing different.

[rox63]

13. It simply illustrates how gay people are just like everyone else

They are just as capable of making bad relationship decisions as straight people. No suprise there. And this does nothing to hurt the progress that civil unions, domestic partnerships and same-sex marriage (in MA) have brought to our country. MA has recently had it's first same-sex divorce. Sounds pretty normal to me.

[Terran]

16. Oh good grief.

"Everything we've worked for has now been trashed"?? So gays and lesbians who manage to formalize their unions are supposed to adhere to some standard of saintliness, and stay together forever? Give me a break, we're normal people, with normal problems and issues.