Does everyone have their orgy partners and sacrificial animals ready for

[noahmijo]

Christmas?

C'mon now people, you're either with us or you're with the Puritans here! Overlord O'Reilly orders us all to celebrate Christmas and we damn well better obey lest we be condemned to NARFLE THE GARTHOCK!!!

(Pic please)

[havocmom]

1. We just dragged home several bottles of wine & spirits to be sacrificed

over the coming Holiday Whoopee Fest. Got our dead turkey smoked and many cheeses are waiting the blade! There are spices, fruits and sugars to be burned! It'll be swell.

Happy Holidays, noahmijo. :hi: Are you going home to see the family or having Christmas Tamales in the Baked Pueblo?

[noahmijo]

3. Most likely the Christmas tamales...and I'm sure I'll be dragged

to church (hey the latinos know this, the mothers can drag the son around even if he's 50) but I'll go just outta respect and so forth.
I guess I'm cynical because I'm still not at the point where I can say I'm having Christmas in "my" house with just me and my girl and our puppy with nobody around to disturb a nice peaceful fireside dinner-that's the Christmas I'm waiting to have someday.

[hootinholler]

2. I been trying to have my garthock narfled.

No joy.

-Hoot

[thoughtanarchist]

4. Ready! Meet you at Osama's homo abortion pot and commie jizzporium!

STEWART: Mr. O'Reilly also objects, obviously, to the use of the phrase "Happy Holidays" as anti-Christian, although, for some people, there is also a -- a celebration of the New Year. So Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use of the letter "S." Now, I suppose you could say "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" but you probably have (expletive) to do.



STEWART: You shorten it to "Happy Holidays."



STEWART: Not everybody who says that is anti-Christian, but for those of you who don't feel like you want to be idiots walking around starting on November 27 saying "Merry Christmas" to people, knock yourself out. You know what, it's OK. If Bill O'Reilly needs to have an enemy, needs to feel persecuted, you know what? Here's my Kwanzaa gift to him. Are you ready? All right. I'm your enemy. Make me your enemy. I, Jon Stewart, hate Christmas, Christians, Jews, morality, and I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's homo-abortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium.



http://mediamatters.org/items/200512080005

:rofl:

[jim3775]

5. I've prepared the fire for the burnt offering

http://www.domini.org/tabern/brntaltr.htm

At the Burnt Offering Altar the priests sacrificed various Offerings to God; some offerings were for their own sins and for the sins of the people. The point of the burnt offering was that, by it, a person might become accepted before God and forgiven (Leviticus 1:4). For the burnt offering a male animal was sacrificed: a ram, a goat, a bullock or a turtle-dove (or a pigeon) (Leviticus 1:3-17). The offering had to be without blemish, the very healthiest and best available. This foreshadows the Lord Jesus, Who was examined by Pontius Pilate, who declared "I find no fault in Him at all" (John 18:38).

The blood of the offering was poured out round the base of the altar, foreshadowing the Lord Jesus, whose precious blood flowed out when His side was pierced on the cross by a Roman spear (John 19:34 & I Peter 1:19).
...
After its blood was poured out, the burnt offering was entirely consumed by burning, the only products being ashes and aroma. The ashes were removed from the camp to a "clean place" (Leviticus 6:8-13). The burning offering was a pleasing, sweet aroma to God (Lev.1:9,13,17) to make the person accepted before God and forgiven (Lev.1:3-4). In Ephesians 5:2, Paul shows us clearly that the burnt offering was an exact picture of the Lord Jesus Christ, who "loved us and gave Himself up for us" on the cross, "an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma".

[spindrifter]

6. How many are sending him

a Happy Holidays card?

[Bluebear]

7. NOT CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!1111111

Holidays!!!! HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christmas is dead~!!!!!!!!!!!111111111 We will see to it!

:crazy:

[havocmom]

8. Hmmm, are YOU the one closing those mega-churches the 25th?

;)

:hi: Bluebear. You were missed.

[Jackpine Radical]

9. Nah. We don't do that stuff for Xmas. We do it for the Solstice,

a few days before.