Altering words with definitions, too cool

[madokie]

I posted this last night and I thought someone might enjoy it today. I'm still :rofl: my ass off.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation:

3. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.

13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarterwhen they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan, in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an ***hole.

[applegrove]

1. LOL

[Arkansas Granny]

2. Oh! This is just too good!

[Norquist Nemesis]

3. Socking away #18 for future use!

:rofl:

[madokie]

4. yep that fits him to a tee. bush* that is

and not just him either.