So I read this joke to my devout hubby and BIL

[GreenPartyVoter]

after they heard me snickering to myself over it. Their response?

Stony silence.

Then hubby says, "that's borderline sacrilgeous"

What do you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why God Never Received Tenure
_______________________________

He had only one major publication.

It was in Hebrew.

It had no references.

It wasn't published in a referenced journal.

Some even doubt that he wrote it himself.

It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

Some say he had his own son teach the class.

He expelled his first two students for learning.

Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

[moc]

1. LOL!

I'm an academic and a Catholic, and I think it's funny. What do your husband and BIL do for a living? Perhaps a non-academic wouldn't think it's funny.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. Hubby went to Christian College and BIL to Bible college. They know

the general deal with academia. They're just wound too up tightly over their faith it all.

[knitter4democracy]

31. Ooh--which ones?

I went to Mount Vernon Nazarene College, where I met my hubby. I'm printing that out to show him. It's pretty dang funny! :D

[GreenPartyVoter]

32. BIL went to Bethany .. a Wesleyan school in New Brunswick. Hubby went to

ENC in Quincy, but their dad is a very old-fashioned Nazarene preacher so the lot of them can be pretty uptight over things like this. ;)

[knitter4democracy]

46. Eastern, huh?

That's the liberal one of the Nazarene colleges. :D

Those old-fashioned Nazarene preachers can be a wee bit difficult to live with. How do they feel about you wearing jeans or playing face cards? :evilgrin:

[GreenPartyVoter]

47. Jeans are k, but hubby's parents threatened to boycott our

wedding if we had had drinking or dancing at the reception.

So... we didn't have them of course.

Oh well. I am getting used to the legalism and just live around it.

Still, if he ever realized that I am more or less a unitarian universalist these days he would have a complete cow. And with his health like it is I would seriously worry about him having a stroke over the stress of it all. So.. I kinda live in a closet and just go through the motions by going to their church and making the best of it. :)

[knitter4democracy]

49. We ran into that, too.

We didn't have a bar, but my step-brothers smuggled in beer (thank goodness my in-laws didn't realize that), and we did have a live band for dancing. They weren't happy about that, but it was at my dad's house, and he put his foot down, saying that he was going to dance with me at my wedding. Since he was paying for it and it was at his house, they let that one go but then left before the dancing got going. *sigh* All those negotiations . . . I'm never going through that again.

You should've seen their faces at our kids' infant baptisms. :evilgrin: They were so very uncomfortable, but they were there, which was important to us.

Keep your chin up. Eventually, he'll see through the emotionalism and manipulation and think that you might have been right all along (or at least give you the leeway you need). None of our friends at the Naz are Nazarene anymore, so there's hope. ;)

[GreenPartyVoter]

50. Well, he's certainly less strict in some way s than he was when hubby

was a kids. But I don't know that he can let go of all that legalism. It's his security blanket against a very scary world. :(

I am more concerned that my kids do not grow up to be like their dad and grandfather in that respect. But my dad, my brother, and me were all exposed to fundagelicalism as kids and teens and managed to break away. I would just as soon save my kids from being pod people or the pain of growing out of being one, but it's their journey to make. I can't dictate how their lives will go, just help as much as I can.

[Canuckistanian]

2. Careful who you tell that to...

I think only scientists or atheists would get it without being offended.

I liked it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. Well, liberal Christians can take it in stride too. ;^D But I loved it

[MrMonk]

17. I think a Jesuit might have a laugh

[Canuckistanian]

22. Yes, they'd get it, for sure.

[acmavm]

27. I'm not a scientist or an atheist and I can appreciate the irony.

.

[Dem Agog]

3. I think it's a hoot!

But then again, I think Christianity is one big fairy tale ... and that organized religion is a man-made tool to steal money from people and keep them in line.

If there's a hell, I guess I'll be first in line to burn in it. Meanwhile, I'm more ethical than most of the religious bastards I know who think that such a joke is offensive and sacreligious.

My take on it is this: If there is a "god" and he doesn't have a sense of humor, and can't appreciate different ideas, diversity, and sick jokes, I don't want any part of his religion.

[bmbmd]

6. I think it is a hoot, too.

And I am religious. God is the funniest guy I know.

[Canuckistanian]

45. Hey! I like your altitude

As I once heard a stoner say when I was in Grade 12...

Did you read the atheist rant on Kos last week? It was great.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

4. Praise The Lord For All That Is Good.

[jobycom]

20. And curse him when you stub your toe! nt.

[Hamlette]

5. I think its pretty funny. . .anyway, they had to come up with

the concept of sacreligious so as to make sure no one questions them. And of course, they don't want to be questioned because...they can't defend the existence of god.

I don't mean your hubby and BIL in particular, I mean all of religion in general. It's like when people say you can question a sitting president. Why not?

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. Exactly.. that's why so many moral majority people gravitate to the

GOP. Same type of authoritarian structure exists in both circles.

[TomInTib]

8. Thanks! That is just great.

Those are inarguable, tho twisted, points.
I am sending this all over.

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. Cool. Not sure who the original writer is but credit for discovering it

before me goes to the Sea of Faith Network. :)

http://www.sofn.org.uk/The_Collection/Jokes/Tenure.html

[RaleighNCDUer]

9. I love it!!

And am sending it to my sis.

The UU sis, that is, not the fundie sis.

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. Gee, you sure Fundie Sis can't appreciate the humor? *l*

Prolly she'll take it about as well as my hubby did, eh?

[RaleighNCDUer]

16. You betchya. nt

[shaniqua6392]

13. I am a Christian and I thought that was hilarious!

Can't anyone take a joke any more? It is getting to the point where I am afraid to say I am a Christian because I get associated with these loony people. They are sending me into hiding with my bible! Now that is funny.

[GreenPartyVoter]

36. You are on the same page as I am . :^)

[silverweb]

15. LOL

Good one -- well worth sharing widely!

The fact that some react with offended "stony silence" makes it even funnier.

:D

[jobycom]

18. God would laugh! nt

[GreenPartyVoter]

21. For all we know, He wrote it Himself. :^P

[mzteris]

19. Tell him even GOD

has a sense of humor!

:rofl:

[KamaAina]

23. It is not sacrilegious so stop saying that! What it is is irreverent.

A subtle yet crucial distinction (see under Python, Monty).

It's funny! :rofl: Perhaps the cleaners made a mistake and overstarched certain people's shorts? :-)

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. The Life of Brian is not welcome here, although all other MP works are

I would agree on the starchy shorts except that we don't use starch.. or a cleaning service. *g*

[Neil Lisst]

24. hubby is being borderline tight ass, IMO

Good Lord, does anyone really believe this stuff?

If there is a God, he could give a big rat's behind about us laughing at some old tales stolen from somewhere in Mesopotama.

[glitch]

25. Thou shalt not bore God.

(old Spanish saying, I think)
That's what I think of re: stony silence and murmurings of sacrilege.
I thought it was funny!

[BrklynLiberal]

26. Very, very funny. Good sense of humor on your part.

[Ian David]

28. Of course it's sacreligious. That's what makes it funny!

[Czolgosz]

29. lol

[grannylib]

30. My late father, a Christian minister, would have HOWLED at that...I think

it's hilarious too!
A sense of humor is one of God's creations, too!

[GreenPartyVoter]

34. The irony is that they are two of the funniest men you ever want to meet

Just not where God is concerned.

[afdip]

35. and no peer review

[demgurl]

37. I think it is cute. eom

[sarcasmo]

38. As a non Religious person married to a Christian Taliban member how

does that hamper your relationship?

[GreenPartyVoter]

39. It can be tough. We generally avoid discussing religion and politics

which means we rub along well enough. But it gets tricky when it comes to what we will teach our kids.

Since he is very much into rules and regulations and God's law he is horrified that I would teach anything contrary to his beliefs, but he will have to get over the idea that they could go to Hell for believing the wrong things. They are my kids too.

[sarcasmo]

48. If we had kids their would be a Divorce over that issue I am for certain.

I wouldn't want my spouse brain washing my kids with the Christian Taliban hate.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

40. Funny as hell.

:D :D

[hfojvt]

41. WWJD?

I think he would laugh at that. It is making fun of academia, not God.

[Cleita]

42. ROFLMAO!

That's hilarious! Thanks for cheering me up. I was feeling a little blue.

:rofl:

[GreenPartyVoter]

43. Always happy to pass on a smile and a laugh *hugs*

[annabanana]

44. More about academia than religion. . . . n/t