Perfect Republican paradise (satire)

[KingFlorez]

Okay, since these people don't likes taxes and so-called handouts and are always looking for someway for corporations to make more cash let's lay out a plan they will like.


1. Sell All Roads and Sidewalks to Halliburton
That way Halliburton can make a nice profit off the user fees paid by motorists and pedestrians to use those roads and sidewalks. Granted, it's a bit hard on your wallet but at least one communist giveaway is gone.

2. Sell the Fire and Police Departments to Halliburton
It's a wonderful way for Halliburton to increase their profits if they can charge fees for Fire and Police. If you can't pay your monthly bill, then you just have to live with your house being on fire or being mugged, cause you can't have no free ride, What is this? The Soviet Union?

3. Sell the US Post Office to Halliburton

You gotta buy stamps, but it's just not fair you can aren't charged a fee to recieve your mail. If you don't pay your bill, you won't get any mail. And quick whining how hungry you are because you didn't get your paycheck, you should have paid your post office bill, tough luck.

Now that we've eliminated some of that evil taxation, let's find more user fees!

4. Sell all Air to Halliburton
We've got to eliminate the communist element in our country, which is free air. Why should you get a handout like free air? You not entitled to it. Halliburton will charge 15 dollars a breath and you must be fitted with a device that monitors your breath, so you can't cheat Halliburton out of their money!

5. Bathroom Fee
Why should you be able to flush the toilet for free? You're nobody. Halliburton will be taking over all sewage systems and be charging a 50 dollar per flush fee. Don't like it? Too bad! Move to commie socialist France or go in your pants.

6. Sleep Fee
Sleep shouldn't be free, that's communism! No, Halliburton will be charging a 100 dollar an hour fee for every hour you spend sleeping.


See now isn't it fun now that we don't have all that commie tax crap and handouts for the lazy?

[applegrove]

1. Great Point Made! Excellent. Everyone is supposed to be so against

"regulations & taxation" but all that is changing is where the money goes. If you have to pay for rainwater or to get next year's seeds - you are paying for things you never had to. These are "new taxes"