Dear Abby: Should pregnant teens tell their parents?

[question everything]

DEAR ABBY: From time to time, you tell young women who think they might be pregnant and are afraid to tell their parents, to do so. I usually do not write letters like this, but I need to express my personal experience. I am a minister. Several years ago, I worked for Planned Parenthood and we had a young girl -- around 13 years of age -- test positive for pregnancy. We urged her to tell her parents, but she kept refusing, insisting, "Dad will kill me!"

Of course, we knew better, and finally convinced her that the best thing was to tell her parents, have the baby, and get on with her life.

Her father beat her so badly that she was in the hospital for more than a month. She lost the baby because of the beating and ended up in foster care.

I will never again tell a young person that her parents will not go crazy, and I don't think you should do that either. Thanks, Abby. I enjoy your column. -- REGRETFUL IN FLORIDA

From http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20051007

[niyad]

1. sad, but alas, oh so true. the reality is that a young woman who feels

she CAN tell her parents will probably do so. someone who feels she cannot very likely has VERY good reason for her belief.

it is part of the same argument about parental notification--one of the reasons I hear used as justification is that "it will improve communications between parents and children". reality--if the communication is GOOD--no parental notification law is needed. if there is NO communication, parental notification is NOT going to help the situation.

[DaveColorado]

2. That's why I'm also against parental notification laws for abortion

[question everything]

4. One cannot legislate communication

any more that one cannot legislate any other form of human emotional interactions.

Whenever we have these discussions here, someone will always say that if their daughter was going to have any medical procedure they want to know. Worse, they compare it to ears piercing.

If they have established good communications with their children, their daughters will come to them, their sons, even. And piercing one's ears is not associated with admitting for being sexually active - that some parents may not want to hear.

[fujiyama]

7. Parental notification laws are a terrible idea

If a girl is too scared to tell her parents, there is usually a pretty good reason.

Any girl that has a good relationship with her parents will let them know.

[Warren DeMontague]

3. Before I even read the article, I had my answer.

"Depends on the Parents"

Nice job, dude.

[TaleWgnDg]

5. Somebody is lying here. Why? Because Planned Parenthood

. . . does not try to "convince" a youngster to "tell her parents" as this so-called "minister" is stating. Instead, Planned Parenthood attempts to find out facts from the pregnant under-aged youngster, inquiring as to her own wishes, and leads her into a courtroom where a judge decides what to do as to an abortion or not, if necessary. Planned Parenthood never behaves as this story states. Never. Nor would it, knowingly, hire such a person as this "minister."

What a lot of hogwash is this fiction!

.

[ArbustoBuster]

6. Yeah

It seems like half the urban legends and lies I look up on Snopes have a comment like "this is promulgated through Dear Abby" somewhere in their text. She doesn't check her sources, and therefore bad information and outright lies get put through her pipeline all the time.

[TaleWgnDg]

8. indeed, and welcome to DU, ArbustoBuster (love that nickname) . . . n/t