My Response to "YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN" email

al bupp

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Mon Oct-03-05 10:06 AM
Original message

My Response to "YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN" email

Edited on Mon Oct-03-05 10:14 AM by al bupp

Don't know if people here have seen an email that made its way around the net for past few years. My mother in law recently forwarded it to me. It came claiming to be from George Carlin. After reading it, I though, no way, and sure enough Snopes proves this claim wrong, as many here no doubt already know it apparently originated from some Freepers:

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm

Anyway I had to send back a response (my comments in red), and thought I'd share w/ all of you...

This is absolutely great! No one can say it like Carlin.

Except he didn't say it!

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by: George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

It was Adam Smith (Wealth of Nations, founding philosopher of Capitalism, who 1st proposed a progressive income tax.

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

Fine.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

Perhaps one should look up the statistics on the number of accidental fatal shootings before saying it's "smart".

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

Nor does being in the majority bestow nobility either, it seems to me that most of the "entitled" people come from the upper classes.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

Unless, your customer happens to speak a different language, 'cause the customer's alway right, right?

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think Marijuana should be legal on George Washington's birthday (he was a big fan of "hemp").

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

Ah Grasshopper, why couldn't the video rental get out the door? What is the sound of one credit card charging? If a shopper falls in the aisle and there's no clerk to see it, will they file a law suit?

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

As a Reformed Pagan, and Confirmed Agnostic, I have to agree w/ this, except when it involves animal sacrifice.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

My Short Duration Personal Saviors have included Jon Stewart, Bill Lee, the cast of Firesign Theater, and the Watergate special prosecutor.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

But what about the rich kid frittering away his parent's money while partying in college? What about the poor child living in filth through no fault of their own?

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

Then why mention it? I know the Fox News is fake, so I don't waste my time watching it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

Climate change, coming soon to a neighborhood near you!

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

Nor did you ever take up arms under the stars and bars, get put on a cross w/ a crown of thorns, or get sucked out of your mothers womb when 11 weeks old! So, you put a sock it.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I give you that "amen" right after we investigate the finances of Falwell and Robertson, as well as identify the last problem either of them solved which didn't involve a church construction project.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.

Unless the cops happen to be chasing you for having bombed an abortion clinic, or putting anthrax in the mail, that is.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

But especially if you're swarthy-looking, right?

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I don't mind background checks and waiting periods on gun purchases. I think it's good, and I'm proud that the ten commandments were removed from that courthouse. If you trust electronic voting machines you obviously don't know anything about them, and I don't want any election depending on them, ever.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

All I can say is that you clearly have never raised a teenager.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

It's called Peak Oil. Look it up.

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

No, just ignorant and stupid.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

Sure thing.

We need our country back!

We need our nation to move ahead!