It's time to play FUN WITH FREEPERS AND FASCISTS!

[TomClash]

Hey, Sports fans! It’s time for a New Draft!

It's DRAFT season! The NFL Draft was conducted on April 22. The NBA Draft will be conducted at the end of June. We sorely need a May Draft.

We need warm bodies. Military recruitment is down so . . .

Thanks to Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Democratic Underground, here is the May Military Draft! In the spirit of freedom, free enterprise and free lunch, no one who opposes the war should have to go, so those people are excluded - they're probably not interested in going anyway and they wouldn’t be very good at it. But if you are famous and you support the War, Uncle Sam needs you to "be all that you can be" in the Army of One. Step right up for the privilege of dying for God and Country in your Biblical Homeland! Praise Death! Praise Oil! Praise Allah! Praise Abraham! And most of all, Praise Jesus!

The teams are Army, Marines, Navy and Air Force, selecting in that order. There are as many rounds as there are body bags to fill so let's get started - the Commissioner is at the podium . . .

First round -

With first pick in the 2005 May Military Draft, the 2005 Army selects . . .

Tony Blankley of the McLaughlin Group. Hardly a consensus choice, this Bruising Brit may be the steal of the Draft. At 300 pounds his girth could provide a substitute for some of the tanks lost in battle and he could be a clever decoy for an IED.

We'll be back right after this message . . . .

Since we're Democrats and we believe that some collective effort is necessary for the betterment of mankind . . . someone will have to pick it up from here Comrades and Friends!

With the Second pick in the 2005 May Military Draft the Marines select . . .

[DoYouEverWonder]

1. I nominate Ted Nugent

He can defend himself with his bow and arrow.

[triguy46]

45. I second the motion

and call the question

[Mrs_Beastman]

2. The Bush twins

Sign them up!

[unhappycamper]

3. I nominate Jenna & whats-her-name

[democrat_patriot]

15. It's "Not-Jenna"

:>) Thanks to the unmamed (forgotten) poster I stole this from!

[triguy46]

41. I like "Jenna and the other one"

from Whitehouse.org

[ET Awful]

4. I'm sure they can find something to keep Jim Robinson busy

in Tikrit or the vicinity. Yeah I know he's not all that mobile, but we can strap into the back of a Hummer.

[Anakin Skywalker]

8. True. Let's Draft RimJob.

[blondeatlast]

24. Oooooh, that's bad.

:rofl:

I'm so ashamed...

[ET Awful]

27. Ain't I a stinker?

[TNOE]

43. Its post like these

that make me love DU all the more. Thank God I can still get a smile or a laugh!!

[Q3JR4]

5. I nominate

the children of all the senators (dem and rep) who are profiting in some way from this ill-fated war.

On edit:
I also wanted to included representatives from the house.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

6. This Flying Monkey

http://www.bruinrepublicans.com/matt.htm

Front and Center Soldier!!

hup toop trep fore....

[driver8]

33. The marines select bitch boy Dennis Miller!

[blondeatlast]

7. Sean Hannity--strong on defense, excellent offense .

He can offer the guys hair care tips, too.

[Just Me]

9. All members of Freepervile should be bragging about joining up!!!

Yes? }(

[Jacobin]

10. Joe Lieberman, putting his ample ass where his big mouth is.

Holy Joe will make an outstanding addition to the troops, and as gawd is on his side, he can use unarmored HUMVEE's and save the armor for the gawdless sectarian troops.

[pscot]

11. Let's give Tom Delay a choice

Three years in the Army or jail time.

[bvar22]

12. All members of College Republicans.

"We are 120,000 College Republicans on 1148 campuses."--- from website

They are young, easily brainwashed, already march in lockstep, don't ask questions, adore authoritarian structures. 120,000 pieces of cannon fodder should keep bush* in warm bodies for a while.

They would make GREAT grunts. It baffles me how someone could be a member of College Republicans and NOT be in Iraq already.

While we are at it, add ALL members of Log Cabin Republicans simply because they cannot connect the dots.

[TomClash]

39. Perfect

That takes a lot of draft choices though. :kick:

[jayctravis]

13. Democrats will be the marching band.

We have our own bus.

[undergroundpanther]

14. I nominate

Falwell,he can go feel the pressure of conversion on the other end.being forced to accept Islam before his head gets lopped off on Al Jezeera/700 club.. In their little psychic healing circle I can already here the coiffed lady and an assistant..Oh Jaysus I prey tell me who needs help todayyy,,hmmm.. I see someone has a really bad pain..in the neck area. They seem to be losing their mind...and a bleeding disorder mm or is it disorderly bleeding..send your prayers to....

and Dr.James Dobson...

In Iraq he can focus on not getting his ass blown off by Iraqi families.
He can get really disciplined by mistake at Abu Gharib
Besides with the household bully away, Dobsons tyrannized little dog can sleep anywhere he wants finally!

[NewHampshireDem]

16. Anyone associated with "Protest Warrior" n/t

[livinginphotographs]

17. I nominate Joe Scarborough.

Instead of killing interns over here, he can go over to Iraq and get his jollies killin' Ay-rabs for freedom!

After all, we have to fight the interns over there so don't have to fight them over here.

[ebayfool]

36. Monica Crowley can ride shotgun w/him - I'd love to see that mouth ...

holler 'Charge!' as she runs into battle w/her blood brother Joe 'Dead Intern in my Office' Scarborough!

Gawd, SOMEBODY take her! Please! I love to watch Ron Reagan, but she makes my stomach burn.

[Coexist]

46. laughing hysterically!

[KingOfLostSouls]

18. The "King" Should Lead His Army

he wants to play warrior

let him play modern day maximus

the first to lead the charge should be the commander himself.

[TomClash]

47. He'd rather do Jeff Gannon nt

[AntiCoup2K4]

19. Anndrew Coulter

If s/he really thinks it's time to "kill all their leaders and convert them to Christianity", then isn't it time s/he was personally involved?

[blondeatlast]

23. Yeah, but what does it bring to the team?

I can't think of a single strength it offers for our side.

[kiki]

26. Who cares?

When the only mission is "Sit there until they stop attacking (which they won't) or you die (which you will)", what can anyone possibly "bring to the team"? I hate to sound callous, and I say this semi-jokingly, but I'd rather it was the loud-mouthed pro-war fuckheads dying than some poor grunt who signed up before s/he knew what s/he was getting into...

[kiki]

20. I nominate Ron Silver

For parroting the old "Not all muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are muslims" line of happy horseshit on British TV (I know you're jealous that we still have a remotely adult level of political debate in my country, but please don't try and drag us down to the level found in yours), and for generally sucking big gorilla balls in every movie he's ever been in.

Lock and load Ron, you fucking pencil-neck!

[tabasco]

21. Get A Brain Morans !!

You know that guy is officer material !

[AntiCoup2K4]

22. Anndrew Coulter

If s/he really thinks it's time to "kill all their leaders and convert them to Christianity", then isn't it time s/he was personally involved?

[XemaSab]

25. Tucker Carlson

I bet a year without a real shower in 120 degree weather would wipe that damn smirk off his face.

Mannthrax Coulterguist would have too much fun over there torturing swarthy men and committing unspeakable acts upon them.

[NMMNG]

28. "It's time to play FUN WITH FREEPERS AND FASCISTS!"

Freepers and fascists? Isn't that sort of redundant?

[TomClash]

38. There may be one or two who do not overlap

I wanted to make sure that everyone was included.

I'm an inclusive kinda guy.

Don't leave anyone out.

[DesEtoiles]

29. Johah Goldberg, John Bolton, Ann Coulter

[DearAbby]

30. Ol Jeff Gannon/Guckert can whip the troops in shape....

as a Drill Instructor. All mouth-breathers with BUSH/CHENEY 04 Bumper stickers sign up first. Then those Onward Fristian Soldiers from the Focus on the Family, What a better way to greet the second coming, than on a battlefield?

You have faith? PROVE IT!

[LightningFlash]

31. I feel it's going to be very difficult for them....

It will be extremely difficult for them to gain people newly recruited into the war. Who knows, they might have to re-write stem cell research and clone thousands of people.

Uh oh what's that sound, you don't think the Clone Wars shall begin....Well, there is that pesky Iran, Syria, Lebanon and other axis of evil countries to deal with after all. We know that the United States is supreme is it not so we must obey.

[driver8]

32. I nominate anyone profiting from this war, and their children...

Dick Cheney will be leading the Haliburton Brigade.

[Swamp Rat]

34. Hell, you can drop bunker bustin' Tony Blankley from a C130

:nuke:

[TomClash]

37. LOL! nt

[LightningFlash]

35. I nominate John Bolton.

Well after watching that video, it made a perfect fit is all I can say.

[B3Nut]

40. Bill O'Reilly

He brags about "combat experience", let's give him some real combat. Put your $$ where your big mouth is Bill, off to Vietraq with ya! :D

TP

[madinmaryland]

42. I nominate Bob Novak

[triguy46]

44. Well, first....

Take a piece of paper and make 4 columns. Number down from 1 to 100.
Then begin:

*
Rove
Frist
Cheney
rummy
Safire
Barr
Ahnold
Inhofe
Rush
Sean H.
Neil b.
Inhofe (again)
Scottie
Delay
The State of Kansas subcommitte on science in the classroom
Jeb
Barbara
Novak
Bolton
Blair
Bauer
Falwell
The staff at the Baptist Press News
ad nauseum

[paineinthearse]

48. I'm a coastie, don't I get a draft category?

sheesh!

[WLKjr]

49. I nominate Alan Jackson, Glenn Beck, and Micheal Savage

[donco6]

50. The MINUTEMEN!

Armed and ready. Just need some beer. . .

[Shoeempress]

51. Hillbilly Heroin addict, Limbaugh. Loves war, hates Arabs and I

am sure his Ass cyst can be fixed in time with the advances in Medical science.