Quick, I need a bunch of folks to review my letter to the editor.

[Melodybe]

As many know I am slightly dyslexic and I am atrocious with spelling and grammar.

I just went to moveon, and they want people to write letters to the editor about the filibuster. Here is mine and I want some instant feedback.


Title:

Republicans are hood winking the American Public yet again.

Letter:

This battle over "activist judges" deeply saddens me. We are currently being bombarded with the right wing talking point of Jefferson's "judicial oligarchy". The fact that they are purposely taking Jefferson out of context to support filling our courts with judges that have a long history of siding on behalf of giant corporations angers me. They should be ashamed to use Jefferson's words against average Americans.

People like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity would have us believe that Bush's appointees are god fearing Christians that would preside over the bench that way. The truth is that Bush has nominated many judges of lots of different faiths, recently even a right leaning website complained of Bush appointing too many atheists. These judges are too extreme because they, in the face of overwhelming evidences, have decided that corporations deserve more rights than the American people.

Radical Republicans are breaking the rules and eliminating 200 years of checks and balances. They want to seize absolute power over judicial nominations, even if 70% of the American people oppose. For what? So that they and their rich friends will be even more rich and powerful. They want to appoint judges who will roll back decades of progress in protecting workers' rights, the environment, and privacy.

Big business' only loyalty is to profits, not the American people. Republicans in congress and this administration believe that corporations deserve welfare but not the elderly or poor. Corporate Socialism is not the same as democracy.

Those that would frame this as a religious issue are purposely playing on the ignorance of the populace. It is un-American and long past time for someone to call them on it.

Thank you,
Melody Watson

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MindPilot]

2. not the least bit atrocious to me

only two very minor changes I suggest:
Change "god fearing Christians that would preside..." to "god fearing Christians who would preside"

Change the comma in "of different faiths, recently even a right" to a semicolon.

[JHB]

7. Many would also capitalize "God"

Not me, but many would.

[kliljedahl]

3. Well done

Hoodwink is one word, only thing I saw.


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

4. Here's my edit

This battle over "activist judges" deeply saddens me. We are currently being bombarded with the right wing talking point of Jefferson's "judicial oligarchy". The fact is that they are purposely taking Jefferson out of context to support filling our courts with judges with a long history of siding on behalf of giant corporations. They should be ashamed to use Jefferson's words against average Americans.

People like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity would have us believe that Bush's appointees are god fearing Christians. The truth is that Bush has nominated many judges of many different faiths. Recently a right leaning website complained of Bush appointing too many atheists. Religion is not the real issue. Bush's nominees are too extreme because they believe corporations are more worthy of the law's protection than the American people.

Bush wants to appoint judges who will roll back decades of progress in protecting workers' rights, the environment, and privacy. Corporations are not citizens. Big business' only loyalty is to profits, not to America. Republicans in congress and this administration believe that corporations deserve welfare but not the elderly or poor. Corporate Socialism is not the same as democracy.

Those that would frame this as a religious issue are purposely playing on the ignorance of the populace. It is un-American and long past time for someone to call them on it.

NOTE: If this is going to a big-city paper it needs to be much shorter, it's fine for a small town paper.

[JHB]

10. You might want to clarify the Jefferson part...

...pointing out that "Jeffersonian democracy" is by definition concerned with the "little guy", and that majority rule aslo has to be reasonable and just so that it does not trample the minority.


For quick reference, here's a couple of paragraphs from
http://college.hmco.com/history/readerscomp/rcah/html/ah_047600_jeffersonian.htm

Jefferson restated these principles in his inaugural address on March 4, 1801. That speech provides the best and most succinct statement of Jeffersonian Democracy. Reaffirming his commitment to an "absolute acquiescence in the decisions of the majority" as a vital principle of republicanism, Jefferson added the "sacred principle that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal laws must protect, and to violate would be oppression." In responding to Federalists' efforts to suppress minority opinions, Jefferson more clearly defined a basic tenet of American democracy.

Intermingling general principles and specific policies, Jefferson promised "equal and exact justice to all men, of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political," and pledged a vigilant protection of civil liberties. He also vowed to protect the rights of states while preserving the general government in its whole constitutional vigor. The new president declared that he favored reliance on a well-disciplined militia for defense, the supremacy of civil over military authority, economy in public expenditures, the payment of debts, and the encouragement of agriculture and of commerce as its "handmaid." Though an agrarian republic was Jefferson's ideal, he recognized the necessity of commerce, and as president he was committed to its protection.

[ET Awful]

5. "Hoodwinking" is one word

Other than that, looks good to me :)

[intheflow]

6. This is perfect as is.

My only suggestion when writing LTTEs is to include links to the facts you referenced. For instance, when and in what context did Jefferson talk about judicial oligarchy? Where is it written that Bsh has appointed athiest judges? (I'd like to have that reference, myself.) I have had 100% LTTE publishing rate since I started including backup documentation.

But really, this is a great, great LTTE. :thumbsup:

[CrispyQ]

8. Great letter!

Another suggestion. In paragraph 3, "So that they and their rich friends will be even more rich and powerful." Consider changing 'be' to 'become'.

I hope you plan to send this to all of your regional papers as well as your local paper. Also send it to any university paper or any small town papers.

:yourock:

[fooj]

9. Good for you! Take action.

Just a few suggestions/comments...
****"god fearing Christians..."- capitalize God.

****Bush has nominated judges of many different faiths. Recently, even a right-leaning website complained of Bush appointing too many atheists.

***"overwhelming evidences"- overwhelming evidence (keep it singular)

***rich friends will gain more wealth and power? ( a consideration)


Great letter, Melody! Forgive me for going into teacher mode...it's a curse of the trade! (#2,#4 only suggestions)

Good luck!

peace.

[Melodybe]

11. Thanks everybody, here's hoping that it is not too long to be published.

also everyone her should go to move on and do the same.

They have all the links and talking points ready to go, good luck.

[dandrhesse]

12. for what it's worth her is my edit

Title:

Republicans are hood winking the American Public yet again.

Letter:

This battle over "activist judges" deeply saddens me. Radical Republicans are proposing rules changes that would eliminate 200 years of checks and balances. They want absolute control over all judicial nominees so that they and their rich friends will be even richer and more powerful. They want to appoint judges who will roll back decades of progress in protecting workers' rights, the environment, and privacy rights eventhough 70% of the American people oppose the rule change.


Quotes from Jefferson that are taken out of context in an attempt to justify filling our courts with judges that have a long history of siding on behalf of giant corporations. They should be ashamed for using Jefferson's words as a weapon of mass deception against the American people.

Right Wing pundits Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity would like us to believe that Bush's appointees are God fearing Christians whose faith would guide their decision making process. In truth, Bush has nominated judges of many different faiths, and even atheists!

These particular judges are too extreme due to the overwhelming evidence that these nominees believe that corporations deserve more rights than the American people. This is not about religion or faith based decisions.


Big business' only loyalty is to profits, not the American people. Republicans in Congress and this administration believe in Corporate Welfare financed by cutting programs that benefit the elderly or the poor. Corporate Socialism is not Democracy!

Those attempting to frame this as a religious issue are purposely being deceptive and pandering to the hot buttons issues of the religious right, even if it means telling bold-faced lies and twisting the words of one of our finest Americans.

It is un-American and long past time for someone to call them on it.

Thank you,
Melody Watson


I felt the paragraph I put first was your strongest point. :) But either way thanks a ton for writing to an editor, step by step...

[Melodybe]

14. Thanks, I already sent the letters though.

When writing it the point that meant the most to me was the part about Corporate Socicalism.

The part you like was copied and pasted from move on, so I don't get any credit for it.

I appreciate your help though, and if they refuse to publish it, i'll just end it again and again, taking your suggestions into consideration. I think that your letter Is more to the point and better edited than my own.

Thanks again.

Melody

[Bossy Monkey]

13. P in "public" in the title line should be lower case

Everything else seems to have been covered by other posters. Well done.