If you were elected Pope what would be the first thing you would say...

[WI_DEM]

to inspire confidence and trust?

I think if I, Pope Charles I, would say:
1) Zero tolerance for pedophiles within the church
2) Priests should be allowed to marry (this would end the shortage of priests in no time).

Or would I have to convene Vatican III to do that?

[revree]

1. I would ask if I could wear something other than white.

White makes me look so pale.

[Lone Pawn]

50. Benedict didn't wear only white.

[ClassWarrior]

2. "Bring me my funny hat!!"

NGU.

[NYC Liberal]

3. Which house will you be in?

:D

[Itsthetruth]

7. "Love My New Threads!"

"Just need a little bigger gold ring."

[LeftyMom]

4. Holy shit!

I'd be a bit surprised, I'm pretty sure as a wonam who hasn't attended mass in a decade, I'd be a long-shot canidate.

[ComerPerro]

5. "How did I get elected Pope? I'm not even Catholic!"

I am sorry to cheapen your question. I just didn't have anythng meaningful to say. Its a good question, and I really don't know what I would say other than that I would do my best to uphold the integrity of the Church.

[DakotaDemocrat]

10. ...but I stayed at a Holiday inn Express last night....n/t

[Hamlette]

26. LOL...funny....funny funny.

[paula777]

6. Birth control is A-OKAY with god people .... use condoms starting NOW

[WI_DEM]

9. That's a good one

over population is a major problem--millions of people are starving to death. Is it more moral to bring on more suffering by not allowing birth control or to lessen it by allowing birth control?

[paula777]

12. I don't thinks its moral for them to tell people they will go to hell if

they practice safe sex. A lot of people believe what the pope says. I would consider him a true saint if he spoke out and allowed it. He would save millions of lives by preventing AIDS and he would stop millions of unwanted pregnancies.

[ThumperDumper]

24. Yes, overpopulation!

That's a good one. But I would do it different.

I would wait until there was a crowd and then yell (In Latin of course) "Wrap your peckers!" and throw handful after handful of condoms into the crowd.

[lala_rawraw]

8. George Bush is not a Christian... n/t

[hiley]

48. applause goes to lala

:woohoo:

[elehhhhna]

11. GOD IS LOVE.

[Zynx]

31. Amen.

I would also excommunicate the shamed child-molesting priests and allow for married priests and say that condoms are okay in the act of love between two caring people. I would keep the line drawn on abortion and the death penalty and work hard to alleviate third world poverty by pressuring western nations to give and not just talk.

[hiley]

49. then you would

be the best pope ever !

[elehhhhna]

51. God Is Love would drive EVERYBODY outta religion. Too threatening.

[pstans]

13. Where is my Pope-mobile

I would say, "Lets take a cruise around town in the Pope-mobile!"

[ltfranklin]

16. Pimp my Ride!

[petronius]

33. I think that invitation would work better

with a Coolio imitation:

New pope, with robes and hat, says:
"Come on y'all let's take a ride
don't you say shit just get inside
It's time to take your ass on another kind of trip
coz you can't have the hop if you don't have the hip
grab your gat with the extra clip and,
close your eyes and hit the switch..."

[ltfranklin]

14. I'm going to DISNEYWORLD!!!!

Oh, and bless you.

[XemaSab]

15. In Vino Veritas!

n/t

[Quixote1818]

17. Most certainly allowing birth control to save millions in Africa from

AIDS. Thats a NO BRAINIER!

[thecai]

18. GOD Is Love....

...Love never fails. Hate-mongers are only fooling themselves! :-)

[LiberallyInclined]

19. "There is no god. The Bible are the words of corrupt men..."

"...now go home- the catholic church is hereby and forever dissolved!"

Hey- you asked.

[paula777]

22. Can you imagine if he confessed to that .... that would cause a ...

I don't know what. Something scary anyway.

[JackRiddler]

40. Damn, you beat me to it.

Before dissolving it I'd fire all the cardinals and bishops, throw open the books of the Vatican Bank and the secret histories of the church, revoke most church doctrines specifically, will each church and its property to its respective parishioners, see to it that a foundation is set up to manage the precious treasures of the Vatican, and make a speech urging everyone to fucking start thinking for themselves.

Of course, before I got very far with this program I'd get the JP1 treatment!

[LiberallyInclined]

42. or the godfather III treatment-

what a god-awful movie.

[JackRiddler]

43. The Godfather III treatment...

IS the JP1 treatment; GF3 was based on JP1 and set in the same year as the JP1 death (1982).

I don't know why you should so dislike the film. Nothing can match GF1&2, but GF3 was a fairly worthy late successor and pretty good flick.

[LiberallyInclined]

44. it just never grabbed me all that much...

maybe it's easier to watch/follow if you're catholic...?

[JackRiddler]

45. I'm not Catholic...

but I liked GF3. Not a great work like GF1 & 2, but a pretty good flick. Anyways...

[catbert836]

20. A few things:

1) Priests allowed to marry
2) Zero Tolerance for Child Molesting Preists
3) Priests can be women
4) Birth Control is legal
5) Non Catholics are NOT going to hell
6) Neither are Non Christians
7) Gay marriage is legal

[R. A. Fuqua]

21. hee hee

it would be kind of fun to step out and have throngs of people waiting for your words---and all the news media in the world watching--it would be incredible!

I would like to take that opportunity to do a little comedy routine--"I bet you are all wondering why you are here.....is there anyone from SF in the house?"

[LiberallyInclined]

23. "...a funny thing happened to me on the way to the holy see"

or how about: "a rabbi and a guy wearing a swastika walk into an airport..."

[R. A. Fuqua]

27. I'm loving it!

We would have made awesome cool popes--too bad we didn't have the votes!

[stopbush]

25. There's no god, so we're ending this charade, selling off all

of the RC Church's assets worldwide and donating the money to end starvation in Africa. If there's anything left over we'll give it to the UN so they don't have to depend on the USA for their funding.

Now, I'm off to Disneyland...

[maveric]

28. "Time for a major overhaul!"

With a little progressive thinking and tolerance the RC Church would thrive once again.

[DanCa]

29. My Top Two

Severly discipline any catholic who voted for this war, and make stem cell research square with church doctorine. And maybe banish Bill O'reilly and Sean Hannity (is he catholic?) while I am at it.

[LibraLiz1973]

30. "Bring me the list of the pedophiles"

I'm about to show the worlds 1 billion catholics what happens when you commit atrocious sin.

[understandinglife]

32. All the gold and jewels are for sale on expedia; women can be priests; ...

...priests can marry;

after you die, God will tell you where you're going so we're now out of that business;

hungry people of the world, we're going to feed you;

use condoms;

population control is our second highest priority after teaching literacy;

President Bush get out of Iraq and pay the UN to police the place while it rebuilds its infrastructure and its society;

Mr Sharon get out of the West Bank, Golan Heights and Gaza, NOW;

we're going to have every pedophile in the RCC indicted and prosecuted.

www.missionnotaccomplished.us (a day to reflect on the value of truth)

[ronnykmarshall]

34. Wassssss up ROME??

Are you ready ROCK?

[Liberalynn]

35. Women Are Not

I repeat not second class citizens.

The Catholic church will lead the world in tolerance.

Priests will be allowed to marry and women can become priests.

If you tell anyone else they are going to Hell, you will have to write Five Hundred and Fifty Five Billion times, "he who is a judger of my father's law is no longer a follower of my father's law," on recyclable paper and then copy George Bush, as he needs to learn that phrase too.

Ex-communicate any Catholic who voted for George Bush.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

36. Being a woman the first thing I would say would be

"Thanks for finally acknowledging that men and women are equal."

But of course that isn't in the script.

[merh]

37. "thump" "thump" "Is this thing on?"

"Can you hear me?"

[evlbstrd]

38. Hey, Everybody!

Let's party!

(In memory of Rodney Dangerfield, who would have been a very funny pope.)

[jmowreader]

39. Forget this "allowing" priests to marry

I would require it. I'd give every active priest one year from the time of my papal inauguration to find a girlfriend and three years to marry her. I'd give every candidate for priesthood one year from their ordination to do the same. Anyone who couldn't do it would be out on their asses. (I would give nuns and monks the option of marriage.)

If you don't have the social skills to find a girlfriend in one year, you probably don't have the social skills to be a priest.

The second thing I'd do would be to have all of the pedophile priests turned over to the authorities.

[JackRiddler]

41. What, you got something against gay priests?

Probably a lot of them, don't you think?

[spanone]

46. 'Give me some Pope dope'

[markus]

47. This is my house? This is my house!