Dave Barry weighs iin on the Presidential race

[RevolutionStartsNow]

Hilarious article.

http://www.iht.com/articles/109806.html

"As I write these words, the front-running Democrat is a surprise newcomer named Howard Dean, who is the mayor of Rhode Island or something. It doesn't matter. The important thing is: He's new! He's hot! He's on the Internet! He's got Martin Sheen! Above all, he's not "Dick" Gephardt! We in the news media currently love Howard, and we will actively promote his candidacy until we receive word from News Media Conspiracy Headquarters that it's time to crush him like an ant.

<snip>

"In conclusion, I want to extend my sincere best wishes to all of my opponents, Republican and Democrat, and to state that, in the unlikely event I am not elected, I will support whoever is, even if it is Senator John Kerry, who once came, with his entourage, into a ski-rental shop in Ketchum, Idaho, where I was waiting patiently with my family to rent snowboards, and Senator Kerry used one of his lackeys to flagrantly barge in line ahead of us and everybody else, as if he had some urgent senatorial NEED for a snowboard, like there was about to be an emergency meeting, out on the slopes, of the Joint Halfpipe Committee. I say it's time for us, as a nation, to put this unpleasant incident behind us. I know that I, for one, have forgotten all about it. That is how fair and balanced I am."

[TheYellowDog]

1. Joint Halfpipe Commitee.

LMAO, that's priceless. :D

[tsipple]

2. Dave Barry's Great

He's also great in front of a live audience. If you get the chance, try to attend one of his talks.

[The Backlash Cometh]

3. Barry is more effective politically than the Dave Barry wannabe

that writes in the Orlando Sentinel. Tomas or something.

[blondeatlast]

4. Could DB be the only libertarian with a demonstrable sense of humor?

So far, it would appear so.

[UTUSN]

5. Kick for Needed, If Telling, Levity

The repetitions are just too good not to repeat.

******QUOTE*****
.... So today I'm going to analyze the presidential campaign, which, in accordance with the U.S. Constitution, is taking place exclusively at picnics in Iowa and New Hampshire. Voters are lured to these picnics by free food, unaware that presidential contenders are lurking in the bushes, dressed in plaid shirts so they will appear human. A voter will be about to chow down, only to find himself suddenly locked in the death-grip handshake of, say, U.S. Representative Dick "Dick" Gephardt, who commences to explain his views on pension reform. The voter nods thoughtfully, although what he's thinking is: "When he lets go of my hand, I can eat my bratwurst." ....

.... We in the news media currently love Howard, and we will actively promote his candidacy until we receive word from News Media Conspiracy Headquarters that it's time to crush him like an ant. ....

...I will support whoever is, even if it is Senator John Kerry, .... I say it's time for us, as a nation, to put this unpleasant incident behind us. I know that I, for one, have forgotten all about it. That is how fair and balanced I am.
*****UNQUOTE****