H.666 PROPOSAL: freeze criminals along with their assets.

[skids]

THE "DELAY NEED NOT BE DENIED" BILL

WHEREAS: White collar criminals have the resources to drag out trials on appeal far longer than normal citizens, and

WHEREAS: White collar criminal investigations are complicated and take a long time to instigate, and

WHEREAS: While awaiting trial for one crime, white collar criminals show a propensity to engage in further similar crimes and misdemeanors, and

WHEREAS: White collar criminals are usually grumpy old men or people with powerful enemies who are on the virge of death.

THEREFOR BE IT RESOLVED: Any person that is being investigated for a white collar crime be subjected to an immediate means test upon the instigation of investigations, which shall determine that person's net worth, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: If said person's net worth meats the means test, in that their net worth is above the fair market value necessary to cryogenically preserve the head of that person, that person shall be termed a "flight uncertainty/known wealth/advantageous death", henceforth referred to as "FUKWAD", and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That conditional leans against assets of FUKWADS be taken immediately after the means test, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That, should the FUKWAD die or lapse into a vegitative state during the investigative process, trial, or while serving the subsequent jail sentence, such leans shall be excercised and used to finance the cryogenic preservation of, at a minimum, the head of the deceased FUKWAD, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That additional leans be taken against the FUKWAD's assets sufficient to fund an investment account that will suffice to pay costs of maintaining cryogenic integrity of the FUKWAD's frozen cranium, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That, upon such a time as medical science is able to restore the FUKWAD to consciousness, the investment account be liquidated and proceeds seized and appropriated for this purpose, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That any sentence, either received prior to the FUKWADs crygenic freezing, or in abstencia afterwards, be immediately served in full with no possibility of parole, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED: That the government is exempt from any special obligation to pay living expenses or otherwise support the FUKWAD after the sentence has been completed, and

SO BE IT FINALLY RESOLVED: That on completion of sentence, the FUKWAD be left to his own devices, and may apply for any social programs which may or may not exist at the time, or rely on aid from any descendents which may or may not hold the FUKWAD in high enough regard to be worth saving, or may utilize any additional assets which have not been subsequently liquidated by other white collar criminals.

[GetTheRightVote]

1. The triple six in the title scares me, 666 in bible is sign of the devil

Real scary symbolism to me.

:kick: