|
Edited on Mon Mar-07-05 12:57 PM by Kber
this idea, which sounds OK on the surface, makes me a bit nervous. I recently had a bit of a run in with some polling / media watch group - don't remember the name but it included things like "family" "values" and "morality".
Anywho - once the "poller" established that we did have grade school kids in the house, she asked if I was "outraged" by the sexually explicit material in TV. You know, racy shows like "Gilmore Girls" and some of the "unplugged" cartoons they show after 11 pm on the cartoon network.
I told her that, no, I rather enjoyed those shows. "But what about your son?" she asked, appalled. I explained that we 1) enforced a strict bedtime because otherwise he goofs off in school and 2) monitor CLOSELY what he watches and 3) spend more time reading or playing board games or other family activities than watching TV anyway. "Well, what if he's at a friend's house?" Well - what if? I know all of his friend's parents and trust their judgment and parenting ability. "And when he gets older and I can't watch his every move?" Well, it's my job to instill my values in him at a young age and besides, if at 12 or 13 he wants to watch the Gilmore Girls, well, I guess that would be OK with me, even if it is a little dorky.
By the end of the conversation, this woman was pissed - screaming really. I was firm, but polite, that I thought it was my responsibility as a parent to decide what is and isn't appropriate for my kid and to enforce it. You'd think I was drinking whiskey and playing poker rather than apple juice and playing tri-ominos (teaches strategy and math btw - not that she cared).
So I guess my point is that, in today's culture, who decides what "good" parenting is. I mean there are some obvious things, but in the Gray areas - am I a good or bad mom for letting my son watch Spongebob. What about if I watch it with him? What if I laugh? How about "Ed, Edd and Eddy" - a show I have banned for no other reason than I think it's too stupid to be tolerated. Am I depriving him of some critical cultural touch point like my mother did when she banned the Dukes of Hazard? What about Sunday school? During wrestling season he's going to miss a few days because tournaments are on Sundays - is it more important to go to school every week, or to show up and support the team? And to I get points for discussing the political landscape as honestly and fairly as I can, or do I get demerits for raising a budding democrat? And about school - I am not terribly involved compared to some of my friends, but making brownies for the Halloween party just isn't my thing. Doesn't mean I don't talk to my kid about his day, his lessons, etc.
I have a hard enough time grading myself in these areas. How is a stranger going to do it in a way that would remotely helpful or useful?
edit for gawd awful spelling - now how am I supposed to raise a kid when I can't even spell for Pete's sake!
|