"God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower"

[maveric]

"physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets"

http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

Please make this be a satire site!
People cant really be that stupid??

[charlie]

1. Yes, it's a long-running joke n/t

[WindRavenX]

2. that's not satire

Oh sweet jesus, SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!!
On edit: it is satire. <--dumbass

[Maat]

3. Thanks for the post!

This explains so much to me!

[Neoma]

4. Probably evolution at work from being forced to do that sort of stuff.

as with lesser muscles i mean.
that IS a sexist statement tho..

:mad:

[hecate77]

5. When I was a grad student at MIT, I tutored a Catholic girl....

Her science book was more of a religion book. In the section on light, the question was: Why is light the symbol of Jesus Christ? As hopeful as this young woman was of a career in science, she would have a lot of catching up to do if she ever even made it into any college but one that was run by equally inane religious nuts, like say Bob Jones University. Now there's an oxymoron for you.

[JVS]

6. Well I always did think that mops and brooms would be handier if they...

were made a little longer. I suppose someone a tad shorter than me would have an easier time of it.

[DenverDem]

7. Deep satire. Very deep.

Notice the link to Landover Baptist site.

Really good stuff. You know it's great when you aren't really sure if it's satire.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

8. I have the You Make Jesus Vomit ballcap

That one is always good for some looks

[Nag Champa]

9. Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria

That parts real. The rest might be bullshit, but I bet some kid really did this one.

[madfloridian]

10. Try this section....really deep but so fantasticly hilarious.

http://objective.jesussave.us/pastorscorner.html

I dropped by our main auditorium yesterday while taking a much-needed respite from some vexing research into the history of Baptist succession, vis-à-vis Waldensian protoanabaptism, to investigate Pastor Fred Hoskins' Cinco de Mayo party, which had attracted quite a few curious people from the local Catholic community seeking to learn more about Jesus. Besides wanting to sate my hunger with some corn chips and avocado dip, I was also curious to hear what sort of music Fred had lined up; I find his ministry most intriguing in the way he repurposes popular forms to spread the Gospel to the youth. When I came in, he was performing a hip-hop song, or rap, with Mr. M.C. Eschatology of the rapping group Jiggy4Jesus. ("Jiggy" is an urban-youth term meaning "to be in touch with what's happening" -- apparently, it's been lately added to the OED; I shall have to see that the Mt. Fellowship library gets new volumes!) While I have heard some rapping before, I had never given much thought to its value in correcting the spread of erroneous doctrines in today's generation. However, after hearing the song that Fred and M.C. performed, I have had my eyes opened to the pedagogical possibilities of this modern form of syncopated doxology.

[FizzFuzz]

11. I checked their link to Landover; its actually a link to

a SHUTDOWN Landover site. They're upset that Landover is mocking the lord and are calling on all true believers to get it shut down..."its our internet and we should excersize our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to prevent its misuse"

Gee, I'm not so sure the site is satire after all. The Shutdown "movement" seemed pretty serious.

I checked some of the other links and they were real christian fundy cult stuff (like Creation Illustrated magazine, and Zounds christian rock is for real)

I am confused now.... :shrug: This is all laughable because its insane but I think its for real!! This is what our glaze eyed friends are about when they're not in *ahem* mixed company.

Here's another unbelievable quote from the little 7th grader's 2nd place winning "science" project to prove the second class position of women:

"social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay" <note comparison of women to NORMAL workers> :puke:

[Kelvin Mace]

12. It is satire

There "Youth Rock Ministry" is selling thong underwear with this description:

"For all the sisters who wanna let 'em know that you ain't no playa, you a PRAYA! "Radically Abstinent... Saved & Saving it!"

Also, check this link:

http://objective.jesussave.us/news.html#8-11-2004

VERY DEEP SATIRE. It did have me going for a minute.

[FizzFuzz]

17. oh thank you for that!

boy they sure had me going...the ads I clicked on seemed so for real. Insane, but for real. I guess I didn't click around enough-- I didn't come across that "thong" one. I think that would have tipped me off.

The hispanic "Pastor"'s bio was pretty over the top and had me doubting, ("Though most of the Pastor's flock are too poor to own computers, they are still a valuable asset for raising the awareness of more affluent Christians"), but I just wasn't sure!!! I know some Evangelists, and the things that come out of their mouth aren't much more sophisticated than that. The animated Baby Jesus thing--I totally believed that was for real.

I was telling my hun, Mr Fuzz about it this morning and how insane it was!

Thanks again for easing my mind! LOL!

[faithnotgreed]

13. most definitely satire, check out thong w/ "will you be my husband"

inscription (can be found by clicking left side link to gifts). the thong underwear also lists a warning that these are an uncomfortable reminder to be abstinent. and meant to be worn under normal underwear

plus just look at the science fair winners on the front page....

pretty funny stuff. clearly an extensive amount of work put into it!

[Warren DeMontague]

14. If that is satire....

Then I suppose you're telling me that THIS is, too?

http://www.geocities.com/preconceivedbabies/

[kath]

15. Oh, wow, that's a good one too! Laughing my ass off!!

Some people clearly have too much time on their hands.

That "Objective: Christian Ministries" site is brilliant. You have to poke around there quite a bit to make sure it's parody. Apparently more than a few bloggers (and others, of course) have been taken in by it. In googling it, some suggest that it's run by the same folks that do Landover Baptist Church and Betty Bowers. Then when you look at the "Members" section of ObjectiveCM, we see that "Kyle Goldman", who "used to hate Christians", has a website of his own called "Hands Off the Lord's Blessings"

quite a complex web of inter-related sites. what a hoot!

[wickerwoman]

16. Reminds me of a non-parody fundie I once heard

defending spanking because God made adults' hands to the same proportion as children's backsides. He had the ratios all worked out. I guess when the backside gets to a certain ratio of the hand you stop.

All I can say is anyone who's spent that much time thinking about spanking needs to be as far from me as humanly possible.

[FizzFuzz]

19. see? This is why I was believing the site was real!

Phew, thanks for validating me there, I was feeling real stupid for not picking up on the joke!!!

LOLOL. amazing site, they didn't miss a single cliche'.

[belle]

18. Satire, but no more boggling than dozens of real ones

I do loves me some Landover Baptist, though...