Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

[liberal N proud]

1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find BinLaden” aversion.
2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
3. The U.S. should get out of the U.N., and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
4. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
5. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hilary Clinton.
6. The best way to improve military morale Is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy; providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense; a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriage and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hilary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio talk show host; then its an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
15. You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 60’s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 80s is irrelevant.

[Catfight]

1. That's all you could come up with?LOL Great list. Damn, I'm really

trying hard to be a repug, at least now, I have a guideline. Shouldn't, killing an unborn life is bad, killing a born life is good, be on that list?

[idiosyncratic]

2. Great, great list. eom

[d_b]

3. awesome