KNOCK KNOCK! Liberal Police! Do you have any BIBLES in here?!?!

[mopaul]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/09/24/politics/main645393.shtml

CBS/AP) Campaign literature mailed by the Republican National Committee warns voters in two states that the Bible will be prohibited and men will marry men if "liberals" win in November.

The New York Times reported that the mass mailing was sent to voters in Arkansas and West Virginia, and was part of a GOP effort to mobilize religious voters.

The literature shows a Bible with the word "BANNED" across it and a photo of a man, on his knees, placing a ring on the hand of another man with the word "ALLOWED." The mailing tells West Virginians to "vote Republican to protect our families" and defeat the "liberal agenda."

let's say you own a bible. it turns up missing, and you somehow manage to live your life anyway, without it. i bet you could go the whole rest of your life without it, or even possibly make it through your entire life without it, but boy, if liberals take it from you, that's a whole different story. a ridiculous one too.

[rpannier]

1. Yep Liberals will take away your Bibles...

the air you breathe, the water you drink, your home, the list goes on...Damn those liberals.

[izzie]

2. I read that yesterday and almost fell off the chair.

It may back fire but I am willing some will believe. I am telling you this WH will do anything to win. Their is a quote I saw someplace that Bush said he will win. Any one know where it came from? News keeps saying he is way ahead but polls do not say that? Is George in a snit and worried to be doing this crazy stuff?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I want to write a LTTE

about this (I live in AR) but hesitate to do so because I don't know if folks in my neck of the woods got the mailing. I sure didn't, and neither did any of my friends. But then we're Sufis, pagans, and mystical Christians whose ministers wouldn't give any political organization a mailing list. Maybe I'll ask my boss-he's Southern Baptist-if he got such rot. He knows that's a bunch of bull, and is voting Kerry this year. So not all fundies are drinking the Kool Aid.

[Lexingtonian]

4. Consider the opportunity, though

It would be perfectly reasonable to send out a mass mailing explaining, in succinct fashion, the crude flaws to the anti-choice and anti-gay theology the Christian Right asserts. As for the "banning" of the Bible, the liberal position would be that the book itself is unobjectionable- but the Right's interpretation of it is corrupt and has been so for many centuries, so that there is far less safety in and warrant for "tradition" than they imagine.

That won't recover the votes lost, necessarily, but it will take the fight to the CR leadership and force them to concede the gross theological weakness to their sociopolitical agenda.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

5. Look at the bright side, fundies

We'll burn the Koran and the Talmud, too. If it says "God" in it we'll burn it, even if the reference is "God damn."

And then we'll set your crosses on fire. Oh, wait...you probably beat us to it.

[Swamp Rat]

6. These X-tians really hate Jayses und his sheep

Baa! Baa a a aaah!

[Hubert Flottz]

7. Well for Heaven's Snakes!

I live in Wv, but I quit going to church because I'm afraid of snakes!

"Take up thy serpent!" = Support Bush!

I didn't get one of those letters, so I must be a hellbound hillbilly!

[jmowreader]

8. I'm going to start a new business: Little Hanging Bibles

You can get these little Bibles--ones about an inch by an inch and a quarter. They're really cute and they contain Actual Scripture, or at least the most beloved Actual Scripture. (The parts about loving thy neighbor and praying in the closet so only God sees you doing it, they leave out.)

Little Hanging Bibles will take a skid of these mini Bibles and make keychains, pendants, charms, earrings, thingies to dangle from your rear-view mirror...all manner of things. "Take The Bible With You Everywhere!"

Little Hanging Bibles will get Filthy Rich and be Wildly Successful because people love to advertise that they're Christians. The part about acting like a Christian is foreign to most of them; most of the Christians in this area act worse than the heathens. (One day I asked my loss-prevention guy what percentage of the shoplifters he catches are dressed in Christian-themed t-shirts. "Almost all of them.") But they sure look like Christians, and that's important.

Let's say the Liberals really do ban the Bible. I guess Christians will have to behave now that they don't have a book to use as camouflage.

[salvorhardin]

9. Warning: Contains Actual Scripture -- As Seen on TV!

It'd also be fun if you could get the manufacturer to change select passages ever so slightly so they say something entirely different or just insert short random phrases here and there.

[no_hypocrisy]

10. Regurgitated rhetoric. Bible-reading in public school curriculae is

prohibited due to Madelyn Murray O'Hair and Ed Schempps' combined cases to the Supreme Court in 1963. Otherwise, banning Bibles is as prohibited as banning any book under the First Amendment.

I'm getting impatient with a group claiming to be a persecuted religious minority when they are in fact a majority in the population, they are protected rather than persecuted by the government, and their religiosity is open for debate.

http://www.freelancestar.com/News/FLS/2003/062003/06202003/1010647/index_html

[mopaul]

12. I don't want their bibles, i can get my hands on plenty

and i support their right to own, read, or worship their bibles. i have no problem with it. i don't want them banned, or rounded up and burned. but fanatic zealots definitely would round up and burn some of my books, if given a chance.

[luaneryder]

13. I hid many of my books when my house

was up for sale and lookers coming through. Books on paganism, shamanism, the Koran, Aristotle and Socrates (I do have Bibles as well), but especially put out of sight the photo of me marrying an interracial couple. If the locals saw those my house would be burned with me in it.

[theHandpuppet]

11. WV and AR, of course...

The states most filthy rich bigots at the GOP helm believe are populated only by ignorant hillbillies. It's always nice to know where you really stand with them, isn't it? Which is why the Dems need to counter this insult with a good dose of hillbilly pride, like so:

A pamphlet aimed at those same voters in WV and AR which pretty much states what I had expressed in the previous paragraph, followed by these questions:

If Republicans truly respect the people of WV and AR, ask yourselves why they decided to distribute these pamphlets ONLY in these states?

Do Republicans really believe WV and AR are populated by uninformed, uneducated people?

Do Republicans truly think the people of WV and AR prefer hysteria to hope? Fear rather than jobs? Lies and distortions rather than truth?

The fact is, the GOP has distributed these pamphlets because they believe the good people of WV and AR CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH! The truth that under the tenure of George Bush we have lost thousands of precious jobs in our states, lost health care benefits, lost the opportunity and funding for better schools for our children. The TRUTH that George Bush treats the decent, patriotic peoples of WV and AR as his personal draft pool, as if the blood of our children is less precious than that of the wealthy underwriters of his campaign.

Don't let the Bush campaign disrespect you and your families! Fight back! Don't let George Bush hijack your faith or your votes. Remember this truth, as Jesus warned in Matthew 7, verse 15:
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's
clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."

WV and AR, it's time to boot the wolves from the White House!

-- Another Proud Hillbilly For Kerry!

"I may be ignorant, but I ain't stupid." -- Loretta Lynn

[OneTwentyoNine]

14. And....we'll take those GUNS too !!!! Damn Liberals.....nt

[OneTwentyoNine]

15. If you can't blind them with brilliance then baffle em' with Bullshit....

And we all know how much brilliance this administration has to offer up...


David