Are you "Rapture Ready"?

[Bigmack]

Check out http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html There's little treasures hidden in the whole page.

"You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture. "

It says our "Rapture Index" is 150, which is in the "Fasten Your Seat Belts" range.

And these freakin' nutballs run our country!!

[NC_Nurse]

1. HAHAHAHA!

What a bunch of idiots!:crazy:

[leftofthedial]

2. I'm ready!

I have my eye on my evangelical neighbor's car and his chain saw.

[Warpy]

18. Not me. When the feces hit the fan, I'm heading off to a fundy church

I want to see the looks on those freaks' faces when they realize that "Left Behind" stuff was all FICTION.

[Jo March]

3. "False Christs" got a 2: Bush and Cheney, maybe? n/t

[BlueEyedSon]

4. Sick, sick people

[MaryH]

7. What is "apostacy"

That's a #5 on the scale so it must be really serious.

Well, I'm Rapture Ready. I can hardly wait until they all leave so we all can have a normal life again.

[JHB]

15. Apostacy: "abandoning the faith"

Basically secularizing or converting to something they don't approve of.

[MaryH]

30. oH, oH

I'm a goner.

And Thank the Lord for that.

[hatrack]

5. Do "Rapture Ready" people cook?

I mean, do they ever turn on the stove or microwave? After all, you wouldn't want to be whisked to heaven while whomping up some scrambled eggs or pot roast - you might burn the house down!

[DaveFL99]

11. They're just leaving a tribulation behind for us sinners

[hatrack]

19. That's it - the origin of the "Lake of Fire"!

All the stove burners, small gas engines and campfires suddenly left unattended! Now I understand! :evilgrin:

[mrboba1]

6. Don't they know its already happened?

37 people disappeared and no one noticed...

They got left behind...

:cry:

[meegbear]

8. Read the FAQ

http://www.raptureready.com/faq/rap23.html

When Does Daylight Time Begin and End?
Is it all right when mad to say "gosh" or "darn"?
Does "pop" Christian music honor God?
Will the Antichrist be a homosexual?
Is it wrong to have a Christmas tree?

These and many other deep questions await you.

[skygazer]

21. ROTFLMAO

"Will the Antichrist be homosexual?" Oh, my aching ass! It would be excruciatingly funny if it wasn't for the fact that so many whack jobs believe this shit.

[RobertSeattle]

9. Reminds me of Maher's Jefferson quote about Revelation

"Jefferson described the last book in the Bible, the Book of Revelations, a favorite of charismatics and fundamentalists, as "the ravings of a maniac," beyond understanding or explanation. "

[drdigi420]

10. I can't wait for the rapture

all the christians will be gone

and

we get to keep their stuff!!

:)

[LibLabUK]

25. Hmm..

"all the christians will be gone"

Not quite.

The majority of the world's Christians (being Roman Catholic) don't believe in "Rapture" so you won't be getting their gear.

[MaryH]

31. It's Just the Born Again "Christians"

I always wonder if they are really Christian or if they are just aliens.

Their beliefs are really more of a cult than anything else. Who else would believe that you would be zapped up to heaven? And are your clothes left behind. Do you have to fly up there nude?

[TX-RAT]

12. Doesn't rapture sound scary?

Funny, rapture was never used in the bible.

[kayell]

20. Scary as hell if they actually read that "infallible" book

Amos 5:18
Woe unto you that desire the day of the LORD! to what end is it for you? the day of the LORD is darkness, and not light.
5:19
As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him.
5:20
Shall not the day of the LORD be darkness, and not light? even very dark, and no brightness in it?


-------

Sounds like great fun. Sounds like they've been warned.

[silverlib]

13. "The push to replace bar codes product labels with radio tags "

under sign of the beast. These people do have some imagination - no brains, but imagination!

[thecrow]

16. They used to think that Social Security numbers

were the mark of the beast.
Do you think that this has anything to do with the republicans thinking that Social Security is a social evil?

[NanBo]

14. Glory Bumps!

My crazy SIL explained "Glory Bumps" to me-- These are the "goose bumps a rapture-ready person gets when something happens in the news, like bombing Iraq, that get the person all excited knowing it's a sign that it's all GOING TO HAPPEN VERY SOON". Scary sicko stuff.

[newyawker99]

27. Hi NanBo!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[AntiCoup2K4]

17. Now, I find this interesting.....

Record High 182 24 Sept 01

Record Low 57 12 Dec 93

So in other words, the point at which the Rapture was MOST likely to happen was 2 weeks after 9-11-01 with the majority of the country, even the world, solidly behind George Bush Jr.

And the point at which the Rapture was LEAST likely to happen was after the 1992 election, when a Democratic president was coming into power after 12 years of Reagan & Bush Sr.

Pre trib rapture theory teaches that the Antichrist will assume power over the world soon, even immediately after the Rapture has taken place. Clearly, the numbers above show that Bush Jr is most statistically likely to be the Antichrist.

I think I like these people :) They may not be your typical fundies.

[shawn703]

22. Anyone notice the record low, record highs?

The record low came in 1993, when Clinton was in his first term. The record high came in 2001, when Bush was in his first term.

Now doesn't this mean that the fundies should be supporting Democrats for president? I assume that the rapture index increased during Clinton's eight years. (57 to somewhere under 182). Since 2001 was the record high, I assume the rapture index has decreased during Bush's term. (It went from 182 to 150).

Don't they want to see the index move up instead of down? Why do they vote for Republicans?

[Triana]

23. They ARE Running the Country - Seen Buzzflash's latest?

There are a few reasons the slimey, schizo bastards have to hide their true agenda and cannot campaign on issues and their record. This is only ONE of them:

http://www.buzzflash.com/farrell/04/08/far04028.html

They can smear and assassinate the character of their opponent, no matter how honorable (s)he is, using their media (which they own lock, stock, and barrel) - and that's all they can do because they cannot win on issues or their record - or the truth.

The elephant only knows one trick.

[progressivebydesign]

24. Yes. I'm ready.

I have my cosmic Happy Meal. My asbestos undies. and my GPS. (My God's Positioning System), ready. Beam me down Scotty!!!

[SPQR]

26. For God so hated the world

that he could not wait to slap it silly. After a lot of teases and fake-outs.

[MisterP]

28. "Here is the general location of Sodom.

Someday San Francisco might look like this lifeless salt plain."
Oh holy cow.

[Mari333]

29. Unfortunately they run foreign policy and could kill us all

http://www.againstbombing.com/ArmageddonUpdates.htm