Oscar, Felix, John Steinbeck, and gay marriage

[derby378]

Okay, here's my take on gay marriage and/or civil unions:

Being brought up in a conservative family and attending fundamentalist and evangelical churches, of course everyone around me was (and still is) disturbed by the idea of gay marriage. But even when I was an evangelical myself, I had a thought pop into my head back when "domestic partnership" was the big buzzword. That thought turned into the "Oscar and Felix" argument.

I never really watched The Odd Couple, but I knew it the series was about two male roomates who are polar opposites of each other and get on each other's nerves, but they always seem to make it through in the end. I had, however, read John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men, with the contentious yet touching relationship between George and Lenny, which to some post-modern teens may seem like the "Master-Blaster" relationship in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

The basic theme in these stories? People need people. There's no sexual component in the Felix/Oscar relationship or the George/Lenny relationship; it's just the realization that you need the companionship of a special person to help make life more bearable. In our modern world, that means someone who can stay by your bedside when you're seriously ill. Someone who can help you raise your children, if any. Someone who can inherit your property and your memories in case the worst happens.

And so, being the somewhat-renegade evangelical Christian that I was, I embraced the idea of domestic partnerships. At the most basic level, it didn't matter if you were gay or straight - if a guy needs somebody, and somebody needs him back, then God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.

Anyway, that was my starting point in coming to terms with gay marriage. Any other thoughts?

[markdd]

1. I was surprised by my wife..

born and raised Southern Baptist fundamentalist, although she has strayed, is in favor of gay marriage / civil union as a civil rights issue.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

4. Who gets to define marriage?

I think the real question at the heart of the "Gay marriage" is the relationship between church and state and how we define marriage. Is marriage religious? If you say "yes" you must ask yourself the question why the state uses a religious institution to give benefits to its citizens. If marriage is religious, why is the state getting involved and defining it? If marriage is religious, why is the state giving out marriage licenses?

The state's job is to create institutions that treat its citizens with equality, not to limit benefits to certain kinds of people. If marriage is something that we don't want to change the "definition" of (read religiosity), the state needs to get out of the marriage business all together and create an institution where the over 1000 federal benefits can be passed to any 2 citizens of consenting age and not-blood related status who want to enter into a union together.

If something like the Federal marriage amendment passes, they should be pulling marriage license from couples who don't have kids or can't have kids. The FMA explicitly states that child birth is the sole purpose for marriage. I do not think some religious childless couples will appreciate having their union spit upon by the federal government.

[jobycom]

2. It's simple right to privacy, nondiscrimination, and freedom from religion

I don't see how any court can claim same-gendered marriages aren't legal. It's just plain un-American.

[Bertha Venation]

3. You've nailed something basic that most opponents miss: it's NOT about sex

Since the crux of one of their arguments seems to be "it's not right/natural to have sex 'that way,'" I've argued with opponents of equality in marriage thus:

Sex has nothing to do with it.

I ask them how often they have sex with their husbands/wives. Invariably the response is "*gasp* That's none of your business!" And the obvious response is, "Then why is sex within my marriage any of your business?"

Sex in marriage is kinda like a balk in baseball. Sure, it's an integral part of the game, and can surely affect the outcome. But honestly, how often does it happen? IOW, it doesn't matter that much.

My marriage isn't about sex. It never was. If sex were all that mattered to me, can any rational person honestly believe that THAT is why I uprooted and left home & family 2,600 miles behind? :eyes:

No, I did that for love, companionship, commitment. THAT is what marriage is. Gender does not dictate who is capable of commitment.

[Rainbowreflect]

5. You are so very right.

The author of "Stranger at the Gate" (if you have not read this book you should) talks about how it really is not about sex.
Rev. White says it is about who you want to come home to after a long day, who's shoulder you want to cry on, and who you want to share your joys with.
Who the hell has the right to judge for anyone else who that person is.

[Misunderestimator]

6. Well said, BV..... but,

sex is still a very nice ingredient :bounce:

[Bertha Venation]

7. Don't get me started, Mis.

:evilgrin: