God Damn Fundies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[trumad]

Knocking at my door at 5 pm trying to save my soul.... I wish the fuck Moses would have come down the Mountain with an 11th commandment...Thou shall not fucking Solicit!

[roguevalley]

1. Find out who they are and call them at 2 in the morning. They will never

come around again.

[mhr]

2. Too Funny, Too Sad, Trumad!

eom

[DarkPhenyx]

3. Have I ever told you the story about...

...how I got my house put on the "Bad House" list with the local religious fundies? They don't bother me anymore.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

4. Answering the door...

Nude could have that effect. ;-)

[DarkPhenyx]

7. Pretty close.

When you come to my house unannounced you should count yourself lucky if I have underware on. :)

On a Saturday I had two, quite attractive, young ladies ring my doorbell. I did answer in my underware, as is my wont, and you have to give them credit for driving on with their mission and asking me "what is the chance we could come in and talk to you about God?" I responded "I dunno. What's the chance of either one or both of you dropping down and giving me a blowjob?"

Like I said...they don't come to my house anymore. Sometimes being insane is a good thing. :evilgrin:

and yes, this is a true story.

[galadrium]

13. Man... i don't think i could say that, even to fundies

I usually just try to make everything they are complaining about the fault of republicans. I try to turn a religious debate into a political one.

[DarkPhenyx]

16. I seriously don't have the time for that.

Definately don't on a Saturday/Sunday morning when I'm trying to watch Bugs Bunny and not spill my rice crispies, man. :)

I can be a serious asshole when I'm awake and happy. I am no fun that early in the morning on my day off.

[galadrium]

18. Yeah, I am sure that it is pretty annoying

They barely ever stop by around here, so it is actually kind of fun getting into debates with them. But if they were coming around all the time I would probably be more of an ass.

[DarkPhenyx]

20. I used to enjoy that too.

But I have enough headaches in my life w/o adding that to the list as well.

[nosmokes]

6. c'mon, give it up. please?

>>how I got my house put on the "Bad House" list with the local religious fundies?

[PretzelWarrior]

5. 5am? I doubt it. JW's? Mormons? Here's the deal.

if you feel strongly that Democrats need to get the power back and our world is lost without that...you might try to contact people all you could at work, shopping, even approaching them at their homes.

If these people believe they really are instructed by Jesus' command to go forth and make disciples by going from door to door and they aren't actually SELLING you anything...then you at least have to respect their willingness to take people's abuse to deliver a message.

If they politely leave when you say you're not interested, then what's the deal?

I still have a hard time believing they're bangin on your door at 5am.

[DarkPhenyx]

8. 5pm...

not 5am...pm

[trumad]

9. Dinner time

and they were Pentecostals. I wasn't rude, just incredulous.

[PretzelWarrior]

11. good catch. rest still applies.....

5pm I can understand.

[drdigi420]

10. They ARE selling. They are selling Jesus

When religious groups perform 'charity', it's not really charity at all, its just a promotional event. No different from a radio station giving away money to get you to listen to their station.

Religion, being inherently false, requires many salesman to keep recruiting new fools.

[PretzelWarrior]

14. well then Democracy must be inherently false cuz I'm gettin a

sh!tload of calls, mail, etc. from DLC. Lots of salesmen everywhere.

[Tansy_Gold]

12. 5 PM -- that's what the original unedited post said

For me, that can be right in the middle of dinner or fixing dinner, and I'd be pissed, too.

Although being in AZ, I still get the occasional LDS missionary, i'm pretty much on the JW's do-not-knock list. They sent two men to my house one morning while I was home alone -- I was outside; would never have answered their knock if I'd been inside. They tried to hand me a Watchtower and I told them no. They tried a little harder and I just said, "Look, I'm a devout orthodox atheist and I don't want your god shit. Leave now or I'll call the cops."

I am not rude to people who leave when I politely say I'm not interested. These two were not polite.

That's been two or three years ago, and I haven't had a JW since.

[Pobeka]

15. I agree, - my door is not a public forum.

If people want to set up a religious debate in a public setting -- a park, shopping mall, whatever, AND be civil about it, I'm all for it.

But when they come and interrupt my life, at MY door, completely unsolicited, they have gone way over the line. If they want to convince me what a great religion they have, then they should start engaging me by showing me some respect.

[trumad]

17. I live in a Gated Community with a sign that clearly states no soliciting

That's what gets me. It's happened a couple of times.. A van will follow a homeowner through the gate when it opens and out hops several folks who fan out through the neighborhood. Like I said, I'm not rude but I want to be! BTW: What made you guys up above think I said 5am?

[mike1963]

19. I cured the local fundy salespeople a few years ago...

Told them "Please come in, we're going to sacrifice a goat in just a few minutes and we could use your help...they get a little frisky when we start to slice their throats..."

Ain't seen 'em since.
:evilgrin:

[arwalden]

21. I Have An ENGRAVED Sign On My Door That Says "NO CHRISTIANS!"

It's acutally a plastic engraved desk nameplate 8" x 2" that I special ordered from Staples Office Supply. A little silicone glue affixed it to the door, and NO FUNDIES ever since.

It's very clear. NO CHRISTIANS! And they apparently understand.

-- Allen

[galadrium]

23. Are you kidding? Please post a pic, I gotta see this.

[Az]

22. Dude Luke 6:30

Strip them clean.

[No2W2004]

24. You need one of these

Your doorbell rings. You open the door to find a man and woman standing there, him with a briefcase, her with several magazines, both of them with well-rehearsed smiles. You know them at a glance: they are the
door-to-door disciples. Fifteen minutes of boredom beckons...

An end to this suburban misery is now in sight, thanks to Ring of Fire's 'No Preaching Please' door plaque. This 5" plastic symbol, with easy-to-stick adhesive strips, says no to Bible brandishing zealots in language that even they can understand. 'Put this near your front door and watch them scurry away,' says Ring of Fire's sales blurb. 'Who knows, it may even help prevent dogma attacks!' A bargain at just $6.00.

http://www.shipoffools.com/Gadgets/index.html

[woofless]

25. Whaddya get when you cross a JW with a biker?

Someone who knocks on you door and tells YOU to fuck off.

[fudge stripe cookays]

26. Thank you ALL for the great stories!

DarkPhenyx, I have been sitting here in hysterics reading that. Kind of makes my effort look a little crude, but it seems to do the job.

Since we moved in, we've had visits from the Baptists, Jehovie's, Mormons...and it seems like there was one other bunch. And reprehensor drives me nuts because he's so damned agreeable to them! He's fascinated by the Jehovahs' lit, and listens to the spiel just so he can get a copy. Then he sits around and reads it, interjecting "Holy Shit!" every once in awhile. I keep telling him to stop so they'll leave us alone, but he keeps encouraging them!

So I put up a sign on the front door to keep all types of solicitors at bay:

"Friends and Invited Guests- WELCOME! All others- We do not need your aluminum siding, your fundraising chocolates, your girl scout cookies, your lawn care services, your religion, or right-wing political views here. Thank you for stopping by."

We actually had some Mormons stop by after I put it up. Incredulous, I looked at the guy and asked him if he was taught to read at the temple. He said "Yes," so I said, "well why don't you try reading this sign on my front door after I shut it in your face."