Training U.S. Forces Guarding Iraqi Prisoners Did Not Receive

[underpants]

Training U.S. Forces Guarding Iraqi Prisoners Did Not Receive
1. Do not beat the prisoners.
2. Do not strip the prisoners and force them to lie on top of each other in a pile.
3. Do not put leashes around their necks, or force male prisoners to wear women's underwear on their heads, even if it seems like it would be a fun thing to do.
4. Do not force prisoners to perform sex acts of any kind on each other.
5. Do not set dogs on the prisoners.
6. Do not rape the prisoners.
7. Do not kill the prisoners.

(According to Pentagon officials our forces are now receiving this important training.)


Martha Stewart Makes
Surprise Visit to Iraq
Hopes to bolster sagging image.

Job Situation Improving
288,000 new damage control experts hired in April.

'I was only following orders,' says Bush . . . . . . Rumsfeld makes surprise visit to space station . . . . . . Bin Laden apologizes for 'actions of a few' . . . . . …Bush asks Congress to make tax cuts, war. . . . . . Sadists, masochists endorse Bush . . . . . . Yale loses its accreditation . . . . . Cheney delivers commencement address at undisclosed university . . . . . . Ann Coulter heading to Middle East on badwill mission

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