Why do people treat their Teens like Gods?

[Ripley]

and bestow treasures upon them such as paid cell phones and minutes, paid credit cards at dept. stores or otherwise, paid PC's and internet connections and paid cars and insurance on the vehicle and yet...their children (oops - teens) have no employment? They don't even cut the grass for "allowance."

It really baffles me why the Sheriff's Deputy I know bought his 16 year old a PT Cruiser and insurance when he admitted to me that he only made $28,000/yr. He was complaining that he and his wife (who didn't make much more) might have to turn off their son's cell phone service in order to make the mortgage.

NOTE: I'm speaking about parents who simply cannot afford these items for their kids, but they do....they sacrifice their own for them....Deputy I know...dropped his gym membership so his kid could keep his phone. THAT'S INSANE. Dad will probably drop dead of a heart attack now because of the extra stress and less healthy gym work out.

Where the hell has the work ethic gone for teenagers?

[bigwillq]

1. I agree with a lot of what you said

My parents make good money and I never had any of these things until I was in college. I didn't get my first car until it I graduated college and it was my Dad's older car (granted it's only a 2000).

BTW, my mom pays for my cell phone and I'm 26 so I don't know if that helps or hurts my arguement.

[Bluzmann57]

8. My daughter is 19

in college and fairly responsible. She currently isn't working, but does when she comes home. Its the only way she's getting a cell phone, and we agreed to go 50/50 with her on a car. She drives an old Chevy which we paid $2500 for. I make decent money and the wife makes more than I do, but we decided that Kelly needed to find out about responsibility. I'm proud of her and she's a good kid. I still wish she'd wear some more clothes in warm weather, but that may be a fretful daddy thing. At least thats what they tell me.

[Skittles]

39. hey

what's with "THE WIFE". Is she not YOUR wife?

[Touchdown]

53. the term "The Wife" is usually...

popular among men because she is THE wife, as in the only woman for him. 'His' wife implies she's a possession. It can go either way though.:-)

[Ripley]

10. College is another story...

My parents helped me survive college, too.

Teens I'm talking about are 13-17 and living at home.

bigwillq!!!!!!!! you better send Mom a really good Mother's Day Gift! :)

[bigwillq]

14. Aah, Ripley... I still live with Momma!

And yes, mom and dad helped me through college as well. Who am I kidding, I should stop talking now but yes those teens 13-17 should just be grateful they have a heart beat and be happy with whatever blessings they get. Or GET A JOB!!

I worked since I was 16 so there.

[Ripley]

25. Happy Mum's Day!

And may it be enjoyed NOT WORKING for you mate! :toast:

I forgot to add....I began work at 12..babysitting then 13 strawberry picking. Americans work too, you.

[bigwillq]

30. I am off Sunday

And I'm gonna take my Mom out to breakfast and buy her flowers. I think my sister is planning on getting her a few things too and I'll go in on that as well.


Happy Mom's Day to you! A bit early!

[rucky]

2. We're instilling in our children a healthy sense of entitlement.

Following *'s example: You could become President if the right people really want you to.

[Rowdyboy]

3. Hell if I know

I'm just glad I'm into having dogs, not unreasonable, demanding, self-centered children.

Dogs respond to love...and don't care for cell-phones (except as chew toys)

[Serenity-NOW]

5. Best of all, dogs are Democrats! For the most part anyway.

[Rowdyboy]

11. I definitely have a "yella dog" Democrat dog

He's all heart, doesn't ask for much, and is very serious about his job protecting his household.

[LynzM]

4. Hrm...

Dunno, but I agree with a lot of that, that many parents aren't teaching their kids how to earn anything, but rather that they are 'entitled' to everything. But I think that's a systemic problem with our society at the moment (frivolous lawsuits come to mind), and just exemplified in a lot of teenagers. I, for one, didn't have a car until I could make my own payments. I chose not to work in high school, and my parents let me do that so I could be involved in extra-curricular stuff a LOT. But that meant negotiations for one of their cars in trade for doing family things (usually extra chores, etc.) I earned my scholarships in college and am paying for my own student loans. I think it certainly made me appreciate what I have more. I worked 2-3 p/t jobs in college so that I could have my car and some spending money.</soapbox>

That said, it's their choice to do what they want, I just don't have to agree with it :D

[Skidmore]

6. Cause the "me" generation are living life vicariously

through their children. The boomers suffer from Peter Pan syndrome. We don't wanna grow up!!!

[gpandas]

22. vicarious living has merit,but i think it is caused by...

the sad memories of things they didn't 'get' when they grew up in a time when our advertising was being perfected and convinced most americans they have to have 'things'. a lot of americans cling to the notion that happiness is a commodity that can be purchased and do not realize where true joy lies.

[nolabels]

59. I might get my son a old car or give him my used little truck

He is going to college next year and I don't want to cart him back and forth to class. We kind of live out in the backwoods and everything is far away.

He is getting good grades, does not get into trouble and putting him or myself in some lease agreement for a apartment close by does not seem like a good idea

[gpandas]

65. sound like a good parent, nolabels n/t

[Speck Tater]

7. Bah, when I had three teens of my own...

I gave them each a sharp stick and pushed them out of the cave to go hunt dinosaurs for themselves.

All that kind of pampering does is to create a new generation of young adults who don't know how to take care of themselves. It weakens the whole human race to send out such an unprepared generation into the world. Or more correctly, it weakens the country where it occurs. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that prosperous civilizations ultimately fall to be replaced by the hungery, but well prepared barbarians at the gates.

[Zookeeper]

9. I agree except...

I think parents view supplying a cell phone as a safety measure. I'm sure it beats worrying and waiting around for your teen to call you.

[Ripley]

12. Oh,

I can answer that one. Hey, I think kids having cell phones for "safety measures" is great!! But there is quite a dif between my neigbor's kid having a cell who is 12 years of age and someone away at college.

No?

[shanti]

61. no

12 is not too young for a cellphone. i'd be quicker to give a 12 yr old child one than a college student (an adult). there's a lot more worry involved when they are under 18!

[Skittles]

13. my parents certainly did not

nt

[Ripley]

16. Me freaking neither Skittles!

But hey we survived!

Crack me up to hell you do.... :spank:

[Skittles]

40. the things I see kids doing

my dad would have kicked our asses. Usually he only had to give us THE LOOK. OO

[Red_Viking]

15. It's also a status symbol

My SO has two young children being raised by his ex-wife with a firm sense of entitlement. My 13-year-old was not and is not raised like this, and it drives me nuts. In the neighborhood where we live, so he can be close to his kids and my daughter can go to a good school, it's endemic.

Last year, the SO's daughter went to a birthday party for a girl turning 6. One of the kids was handing out calling cards, like folks from the Victorian era carried around. The cards had her name with some flowers and curlicues. Insane.

At one of my daughter's choir concerts, some overdressed privileged woman carried an armful of ROSES to her kid onstage. I almost puked.

I agree with the other posters here--we're turning out a generation of spoiled adults who don't know how to take care of themselves. And, these parents have to keep one-upping themselves and each other! Where does it end???

Not too long ago I saw a comedian on TV talking about this, mimicking a soccer mom, cheering for her kid. "You're special just because you came out of MY vagina!" Hysterical.

Now, my daughter has a cell phone. But it's for safety, and it makes me feel better. The other stuff? Forget it!! She'll have to work for it. :P

RV

[Ripley]

19. Heh Red..good point...

It's a different world and kids need cell phones for safety...but that is not the luxury I'm referring too...you know.

[LoZoccolo]

34. I think you've got a good part of it.

I think another thing is that some of these parents want their kids to have the kind of teenage-hood that they never had. My mom would buy me cool clothes and want me to get involved with popular-kid-type stuff because she felt she missed out on it in high school.

[KittyWampus]

17. Guilt. Not Wanting To Be The Disciplinarian. Wanting To Buy Love.

Edited out stuff: the spoiled child/teenager is a sympton of parents caught up in the materialistic mindset...

[Ripley]

20. Ack. Yes.

You defined it down to minimal.

[supernova]

18. Because they treated their toddlers like Gods

Look at any teen with an Supersized™ sense of entitlement and you'll find a toddler given everything thrown at them when they yelled "GIMME!". IOW, they never learned the word "No."

A healthy, well-adjusted teen with realistic expectation about what mom and dad can/not provide is a pleasure to be around.

You can raise either type of child. Either way, they don't get there overnight nor without your help.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

21. Yeah, I know what you mean.

My husband and I were never blessed to have children, but when I see what some of my friend's do for their kids, I just shake my head.

Back in the Dark Ages (the late 1960's) when I was a teenager, granted cell phones were not around. The only person I knew that was a teenager and had his own car was my brother. He worked part-time at the main Post Office in downtown Chicago and bought it with his own money when he turned 17. It wasn't new either. It was a 1964 Chevy or something like that. He paid for his insurance as well.

But then again my parents were part of the "Greatest Generation" that grew up during the Great Depression and did their part in the WWII. They knew what was important and passed it on to us. If we wanted something that they thought was unnecessary, the answer was always "buy it with your own money".

My eldest sister, my two brothers and myself all worked part-time when we were teenagers. Everyone I knew did, when you turned 16 you went out and looked for a part-time job.

But as I said that was back in the Dark Ages.

[Warpy]

23. The prepaid credit

...is to teach them about spending money wisely (something I sure never got taught). They learn money is a finite thing, and that they have to make a few choices here and there.

The cell phone is so they can call home if they're out and it turns ugly with alcohol and/or violence.

The PC with internet is something most kids really need these days, to do research online after school. It's also a great teenage babysitter, giving the kid something he'll do rather than get into a bunch of trouble in the three hours he's home alone after school before Mom and Dad get home. Evading net nanny and surfing porn is a whole lot safer than running wild in even suburban streets.

The car is beyond me. I have no clue, unless transportaion isn't available in their area, and they felt sorry seeing the kid ride his banana seated kiddie bicycle to school in the snow because he was too embarrassed to ride a school bus.

[Ripley]

24. Hah. you believe that?

Kids do what you want them to do?

As for the rest...not sure...

On edit: yes good info about parental fears obout kids..

When do they get to swim?

[Angelus]

26. I am 22 and I have never been given stuff like this...

I grew up in a household where my parents had no money. I had to get out and get a job and buy whatever I wanted. I had to buy my own car, insurance, clothes, and other non-necessities.

I see many teens being treated this way today. It makes me sick. I don't like spoiled kids.

[seabeyond]

31. my parents had the money to buy me the stuff

and i started working in dads business at 12. i saved my money. i bought my cars and insurance

i know how to work, and when i am employeed i am a valued employee. it may be hard to see the spoiled child but you gained character all up and down the child that didnt get this from their parents. i thank my parents for giving me this sense of responsibility.

and goes all the way to when i did have kids, knowing my place their in the role of parent. it is a good thing, you doing and learning adn growing.

[Angelus]

33. Thanks.

I am sick of seeing a bunch of spoiled brats running around, not working, having everything handed to them.

I gained a lot by working jobs. I learnd how to interact and socialize with people. I learned the importance of doing good work. I learned many things.

I have had many friends who got stuff handed to them and I always got made fun of in school because I didn't have anything.

[seabeyond]

35. clothes and things does not make the person

i refuse to play that game.

i have been poor. paycheck to paycheck. with out a job. i never felt any less than another. and i was still a happy person. all this is the illusion in life, ego controlling how we see the world, but it isnt indicitive of who you are.

give me grace and honesty, integrity and responsible, joy and love

at 42 and in family and live so full of love, there is not a single thing i want. i am never in want, need...... things just does not have a strangle hold on me. i am free. these people that have learned they have all these needs, do you know how controlled they are. people that believe they will only be liked by how they are dressed, how sad that is. i am free. i have cutoff jeans from old hubbies old jeans. have worn a couple years and have holes in the butt.

people still love me. people dont judge me. i am free. i dont have all the social pressures of what i need to be to be loved

that is goal. go for that, then always, you will be happy, cause happiness isnt dependent on what you can get

[seabeyond]

27. i am so with you on this and my guess

so many value image and this shows what a good parent, how much you have, not connected to the child so the only way to get them off back is pay their way,

i have a 6 and 9 year old and have sat in amazement. i took bday parties away at 6 that is the last party kids bring presents. then went to sleep overs. now it is a family to do.

i will tell you the repercussion of what they are doing to their children. my husband runs a computer business and hires young ones. i tell him get rid of them. they dont know how to work. they havent learned from their parents. a waste of money. and then they demand raises insurance raises and another raise. last two years i have seen how much the children today arent prepared,

the upside, i really know what i am not going to do with my kids.

[The empressof all]

28. other ways of looking at it

I am all for teens working. My daughter will be turning 14 in June and will work in our family owned business for minimum wage beginning this summer.

I did however recently purchase a cell phone for her as a convenience and safety device. She is at the age where she likes to go to the mall or movies with friends and I would rather have a way to contact her (and visa versa) when I wish. We have strict rules about responding to calls from parents immediately and she will be contributing the $10 per month extra added to our phone bill for this extra line. She is aware of the dangers of overuse of minutes and so far has not abused it.


When my daughter turns 16 she will be able to purchase my car at a very reasonable price. She will pay for the insurance -it will be deducted from her wages. I feel strongly that she should have a car asap as we live in an area with no Public Transportation and I would rather have her drive than for her to be at the mercy of some other 16 year old. So far she has given me no reason to not trust her judgment and therefore she will receive this privilege

When I was her age my parents gave me very little (not because they couldn't but because they were bitter, angry people) which impacted my self esteem and feeling of self worth. (I'm good now!!!!)

I think what is more important is relating to your child honestly and forthrightly not setting up some arbitrary measurements for what builds character and what doesn't. I have to say it drives me crazy when I hear other parents say "well I didn't have a car when I was 16 so why should my kid have one." I think the world is a different place than it was for many of us growing up. Shoot, I grew up without a microwave or a dishwasher. I didn't own a radio of my own until I was 14. I got my first computer when I was 40---I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[Ripley]

36. Yet you choose to follow the herd...

when she's 16 she get's a car. I understand you say "purchase my car at a very reasonable price" ...but we all know you don't mean that. She's gonna buy your old Honda Accord for what $2,000...where did she get that money?

Sorry I'm being facetious...you're a great Mom I'm sure.

[The empressof all]

37. what herd?

She will be earning money working. Why is is it such a terrible thing to help your child. Should I feel bad for hiring her rather than another teen in the neighborhood? The reality of life for her is that she comes from a family that can provide certain advantages. What is important is not what she has but how she values these advantages and uses them for the common good.

I guess my point is that character is not necessarily built upon deprivation. Look at Kerry, Kennedy, Roosevelt ....(I wish I were in their league)

[West Coast Democrat]

29. I don't know, but they're more likely to end up supporting these kids....

for the rest of their lives if they spoil them so much during the teen years.

[bigbillhaywood]

32. We're a nation of lazy, materialistic fucks (I include myself). n/t

[ikojo]

38. I have long said there is no greater entitlement program

than being a middle class American teen.

It doesn't stop with teens either. I have a friend who *thought* she wanted to be a teacher in her late 30s. In order to do this she had to return to school and get a teaching certificate which meant two years of school.

Mind you she was in her late 30s. An age when most people are considered adults and responsible for their own expenses.

Her dad paid ALL of her bills AND her tuition while she was in school getting her teaching cert. He even made sure she had spending money. She did not have to work at all while in school nor did she have to take out any loans.

She did the student teaching thing and did not like it. So, she is not teaching full time. She does some part time stuff but not full time.

I was shocked that her parents would pay all of her expenses, after all she is an adult and they paid for her college when she was a teen/early 20s. She said that it is their responsibility to educate her and pay for it.

She has another friend who didn't want to go to college at 18. Instead he chose to become a laborer. Well, now he is in his late 40s and would like to go to college. My friend told him to ask his dad to pay for it (his dad is a doc and money is no object). When her friend said that he chose not to go to college at 18 and does not feel his dad should pay for college now that he has changed his mind. My friend said that if he was going to pay for college when he was 18 then he should pay for it even though this guy is now in his late 40s.

Hey parents....the sense of entitlement does not end! Parents create these monsters. I don't know if I can find it in my heart to pity them. I think many parents give their kids everything, while skimping on stuff for themselves, as a way of reliving their teen years when they may have been or felt deprived.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

41. A woman my sister works with

actually writes her daughter's papers (she's in college) for her.
I am finding out that more college age kids are expecting to make good grades for the minimum effort than ever before.

[bleedingheart]

55. I know a woman who does that for her husband

he was getting his masters degree and didn't have the fortitude to finish...so to push him along she did most of his homework for him.

[bemildred]

42. Too lazy to be parents? nt

[nemo137]

43. i work, and i'm 17

we have 3 family cars and one family gas card account, that lets us all get to work, rehearsals, schools, etc. we have one computer which my dad and i share for our various school and hobby projects, no cell phones, although depending on how much i make this summer i may get one, just to make it easier to keep in touch with my parents when i'm out, especially working on shows.

any of that sound godlike to you?

[seabeyond]

44. all of that sounds wonderful

you aware and on du 17 year old. you do this older heart proud.

cool

got my 15 year old niece to work in fathers business and it has been terrific for her. i see such a change, how good she feels. takes work driving and picking up for a mere two hours of work, but it is much more than that for her. well worth the effort

[bemildred]

45. Good for you.

So does my kid, also 17.
In fact he's the only one in the family working right now.

[Ripley]

46. Nowhere did I state "all teens."

Of course no children living in poverty in the United States enjoy such luxuries either.

But there is a huge "child worship" movement going on here. Some of it is due to the perversion of the wealthy with nothing better to do than buy their kids bobbles and trinkets.

However from personal experience, of which I named one specific example, I see lots of people who are struggling paycheck to paycheck get themselves further into financial ruin by adding more debt and decreasing their savings in order to lavish their teenagers with unnecessary material objects. Why does any child need to carry a credit card?

Since you do not fall into the category I refer, why are you so defensive?

[Loonman]

47. Namby-pamby wimps

Candy-asses.

[SemperEadem]

48. they've been marginalized by the Hilton sisters

you know how hard Nikki and Paris have worked to earn the money they've got to wear all those cute clothes and take title to being the 'hawtest' hard-working chicks in America? They make everyone else's teenagers look positively knavish in comparison, so teens have to guilt trip their parents into paying their way so they can 'even the playing field' and compete for 'hawtness' with the Hilton's.

[Ripley]

49. See, that's the part I don't get.

so teens have to guilt trip their parents into paying their way...

Who is the parent with the paycheck and who is the free-loading kid manipulating the parent? What is wrong with adults who don't have enough sense to say "no" and teach the kid a lesson called "reality." When I got to the age (older than kids are today when recognizing material wants) where I just had to have a record album (yeah, I know...what's that?)...I was told "do more chores for your allowance" or "get a job." So I did both and bought my stuff. Why can't these precious darlings today lift one finger to work? I sure as hell wouldn't hire one teenager I know...they are all lazy, have no experience and demand the moon.

I blame the parents.

[SemperEadem]

51. I feel ya...

"What is wrong with adults who don't have enough sense to say "no" and teach the kid a lesson called "reality.""

They have a distorted view of parenting. There may be a deep sense of guilt working with regards to what the parent feels they should be doing for the child.

I have a friend who is paying half of her daughter's college tuition (pops paying the other half), and the way that young woman (22yrs) talks to her mother is criminal. She decided to take a year off and lounge around the house on her mom's dime, didn't do anything to help out around the house, left it a mess all the time, wouldn't clean her room, and would still cuss out her mom if she complained.

There is no reason why that girl couldn't apply for student aid and a school loan to pay for school, but she was going to a school where kids were driving brand new BMW's, Mercedes', Escalades etc. The girl didn't get that she wasn't a trust-fund baby and her parents weren't independently wealthy.

I was like "kick her ass out and quit paying, since she's so damn grown", but my friend was so guilt ridden over divorcing her philandering husband (the girl's father) and remarrying a guy who didn't let the girl manipulate him or her mother that she couldn't see daylight. There was constant problems between the two (some caused by the girl, some not) and eventually, they divorced.

Also, they're afraid of their children not liking them.. not being 'their friend'. Some teens figured out how to get their bluff in on their parents at a young age, and they manipulate them through fear.

Fear of what? The child not loving them anymore; the child becoming emotionally unmanagable; the child stooping to lying and calling family services and reporting abuse.

Not all people should be parents.

[seabeyond]

54. to say no takes work

i learned at the very young age with my children. to teach them to make good choices, option a spank them, b over time teach them it was worth it for them and all around them to make the good choice. this means i had to pay attention, always be in teaching mode and set a good example. this means my time is not my own, my time is my childrens. this takes work. yet it is a grander experience in self discipline than the fear of physical retribution and establishes a good foundation

the parent that says no to the child has to experience the pouting, tantrum even as teenager and take the time to connect with child and provide the ride to work and pick up and supervise the chore and nag to get it done. parents are taking the easy way out, not doing the parent job and they are hurting their childrens future.

and a lot of people use the reflection of their child to themselves. further they are simply teaching their children their own value that they are judged by dress and things and that is what a person is valued by. our misstep in society around the 70's especially the 80's

[moondust]

50. Status.

The game starts at a very young age nowadays. Work is unimportant; image and status are everything.

[Proud Liberal Dem]

52. My experience

I completely agree with your concerns. Although my two stepdaughters are not at the age where they are asking for any of those things for them (thank god!), my wife and I both agree that we expect them to work to earn what they want outside of basic living expenses except for maybe getting them a used car for them when the time is right. My Dad, who is old enough to be my grandfather(in his 70's) came from the generation where a lot more responsibility was expected and I grew up with his ethos (thankfully). I wasn't expected to but I started working a paper route when I was 11 to earn money to get what I wanted and have been working steadily in various part- and now full-time jobs ever since. I didn't get my first car until I was 18 and although my Dad got me my first car it was used and he expected me to pay for the insurance, which I did. Outside of basic living expenses and my college expenses (I thank the lord everyday that my Dad helped me out with College!), I was responsible for everything else and didn't get a lot of other stuff like cellphones, etc. until a couple of years ago when I started working full-time and living on my own. It is appropriate and sometimes necessary for parents to sacrifice for their own children like with helping them with college or getting them a starter car when they are old enough but they should never sacrifice their own financial security to simply provide their children with a higher standard of living.

[bleedingheart]

56. This has been going on for years

it is not a new phenomena.

When my mom was a kid in the 40's, there were kids whose parents put all their money on their kids backs as well. If cell phones and pagers had been the norm those kids would have had them as well.

There are parents who can say no, I am one of them, and there are parents who can't.

There are people I know in their mid-thirties who are still siphoning off money from their parents to pay for furniture, cars, and even their own kids clothes.

Sometimes it is guilt, sometimes love and sometimes it is a way for parents to control children.

One of my cousins accepted a $10,000 gift from his parents in order to buy a house...the "kicker" was that the house he bought had to be close to his parents....so by taking the money he let them control where he lived. So for twenty years he has been at their beck and call..their constant presence in his life almost wrecked his marriage...so you have to wonder...who really paid for it in the end.

[seabeyond]

58. reminds me

i wanted to move back to area of parents, but i told mom, no more paying my way or buying me things. and it was exactly that reason, i felt beholden and i owed them and had to behave their way.

good point........control

[DrWeird]

57. I blame the grandparents.

Obviously these parents never learned how to handle money.

As for "where the hell has the work ethic gone for teenagers".

I believe studies have shown that todays teens are working more and longer hours then any previous generation since statistics started being recorded.

[Ripley]

63. Wow, I'd sure like to see that study.

I don't know any kid in our neighborhood or children of friends that have jobs. Even the college aged kids don't work.

I worked my ass off in high school, was hugely involved in extracurricular sports, etc., got A's, and pretty much took forever to graduate college because I worked half the time.

I really don't believe your stats. Than any previous generation...come on! Two generations ago, most of America was rural and kids milked cows at 4:00 AM. What kids do that anymore? Not many. Long hours? Where? Most kids work fast food, part-time jobs. Not ever given long hours.

[Kaysera]

68. Better check the date on that study.

It might be referring to the past generation of teens (1970-1980).

It almost certainly doesn't refer to today's teens.

Also, this study, obviously, will only take in to account 'away from home' working.

So, all the hours that kids of past generations worked on family farms, etc. will not be counted.

[shanti]

60. i agree with you for the most part

however...cellphones are a good thing for a kid to have. i know that personally, it saves me a lot of stress and worry knowing that i can contact my teen (14-son) when i need him.

but i've already told him that he will NOT be driving unless he can support the use of his car, when the time comes. he WILL get a job and he wants one too.

kids are basically spoiled now.

[neverborn]

62. Why not?

First -- my parents are not making "unreasonable sacrifices" -- their mortgage is not in danger like the first post, etc. My parents combined make nearly $100,000 yearly.

I am 17.

I have a car -- this was given to me when I was 16 by my mother, when she got a new car. I do not pay insurance.

I share a cell phone plan with my mother -- the total cost is near $100 for the plan, features, and added phone. I do not pay this.

I have a computer that I did not pay for downstairs with ADSL connection, a 32" TV and a surround sound system I also did not pay for.

Most if not all of this is contingent upon my grades. I've gotten nothing lower than a "B" over the past two years.

My college education will be paid for by my parents through loans. This is also contingent upon grades.

I got a job when I was 16, and still have one. I use this as my "spending money." I just spent roughly $200 on computer parts on NewEgg, for example.

Am I spoiled? Am I worthless?

No.

Do I have a work ethic?

I think so.

[progressivebydesign]

64. Not in my house!

We, my husband and I, are in the minority it seems. My now 21 year old stepdaughter worked through high school. She bought her first car with her earnings, we paid for registration. We paid her car insurance until she had a fender bender and it went up. We then dropped her from the insurance and told her it was up to her to pay for it now. She was given no cell phone or credit cards. We shopped together when she needed clothes, but she knew that she was responsible for herself if she wanted something extravagant.

My younger stepdaugher is in jr. high. She has done her own laundry since she was 8. She cleans her own room and the bathroom adjacent. She feeds the pets every day. She gets herself up and ready for school along side with her father. She makes her own lunch. She sometimes likes to cook a meal or dessert for us. If she is late returning a library book, she has to pay for the fines with her own money she earned doing chores. If she loses something, like a library book, she pays for it.

Are the kids happy? Very. Well adjusted? Completely. Responsible? Much more than most kids. They are also well-read, and great with adults.

Parents rob their children of self-sufficiency when the do everything for them, and give them everything.

[seabeyond]

66. man woman

i am not nearly tough enough. ok i got it. laundry at 8, hm........lol lol and why not. doesnt have to be perfectly folded like i insist, i dont even let husband fold, lol lol. cool stuff. i am impressed

[Kaysera]

67. Parents today ...

... support a standard of living for their teens that their teens will never be able to continue into adulthood.

When I see spoiled teens these days, I think about how its going to be for them in a few years when they are trying to support a family.

I wonder if they'll be able to continue to have the designer clothes, etc.

I believe that this phenomenom is more prevalent in these days because the American standard of living has, generally, risen.

Back in my childhood days, my parents had to to tell us no in response to many of our requests (because there was absolutely no chance that they could afford all we wanted).

In American society today, we can afford so much more than Americans could years ago (even if its because of credit), and so its harder to tell Johnny that he has to wear Levi's, rather than Sean Jean.

Eventually the whole thing will turn around because there is just no way in hell that today's teenagers will be able to spoil their kids like this.