If Bush wrote a book, would you buy it?? An Opihi Poll

[opihimoimoi]

Clinton just got $12 Mil for his.

I wonder who would pay Bush for a book and how much he would get?

Can he even write one? Maybe Karen gatta ghost it for him.

Then again I might be suprised.

Would you buy his "Book?"

[KissMyAsscroft]

1. I have a hard time reading crayon scribblings...

It would be like grading a 3rd grade book report written by a kid with a messianic complex.

[opihimoimoi]

2. Crayons even, LOL, too funny.

[Johnny Arson]

3. I'd read it in the store

It'd only be 100 words long! Bush doesn't have the attention span to write more than that.

[CatWoman]

4. Dennis, Sugarpie

:hi:

:loveya:

Oh, come now!!!

What a question????

Karen Hughes wrote that propaganda peice for him, "A Charge to Keep"

How many SANE people bought that book??

[opihimoimoi]

14. Hi Midori, How many people bought A CHANGE TO KEEP?

I think the last count was 5.8

Most people left the bookstore laughing their guts out after peeking at it.

Come, we go Luau, eat, drinK, LAUGH

[SOS]

38. Some Amazon sales rankings on 5/1/04....

Plan of Attack by Bob Woodward: #3

Against All Enemies by Richard Clarke: #11

A Charge to Keep by George W. Bush: # 19,745

We Will Prevail by George W. Bush: # 37,905

:)

[CatWoman]

49. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:D

[opihimoimoi]

63. Even the Hungry Caterpillar is far ahead on that list.

[Mz Pip]

5. I already read

"See Spot Run" when I was 6.

MzPip
:dem:

[CatWoman]

9. LOL!!!!

exclusive!!!!

advance copy!!!!

http://www.enggprograms.com/Simon%20and%20Schuster%20Images/curious%20george%20reads,%20writes%20and%20spells.jpg

[opihimoimoi]

16. Damn you Cat, just spewed coke all over the keyboard.

:hi: :loveya: :toast:

[CatWoman]

18. ROFL!!!!!

:hi:

:D

[doni_georgia]

57. How bout - "If You Give A Chimp the Presidency"

Let's see if this will work

[opihimoimoi]

72. That would work......

its his level.

[trof]

6. Sorry, I don't answer hypothetical questions.

And that is THE most hypothetically hypothetical question I've ever heard. Would Pickles put the pencil in his hand and then hold his hand and (like my granny used to do) "help" him write it?

[Paradise]

7. Hughes already has a book out and I'm not even reading that one. n/t

[Kadie]

8. a book by bushie would be as useless as tits on a boar

unless you need a door stop or something to keep the table from wobbling. You know that there wouldn't be an ounce of truth written.

[opihimoimoi]

22. Bush the STATESMAN is gonna fool all of us and not write anything

about his venture into the Oval Office, Nope, he gonna write about his horses and how he luvs to ride them

[PfcHammer]

10. "Imperialism for Dummies"

[Webster Green]

11. If Bush wrote a book............LOL!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

That is a good one........Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

[agates]

12. Bush's* book

"The Hungry Caterpillar" fanfiction? hahahaha

[opihimoimoi]

19. There are lots of people on the HUNGRY CATERPILLAR LEVEL

But do they read books? Maybe if Bush uses a lot of pictures.

[agates]

80. Maybe Condi

could do the illustrations for him? Does Bush* draw?

[Robbien]

13. If they paid me I might, but only because it can be put in the recycle bin

And I want the bucks in my hand before I accept that book. BushCo is very good at that bait and switch.

[AP]

15. Last night on Letterman, Hil Clinton said that First Lady books tend

to sell more than President books. She said maybe people are more interested in what the person next to the man has to say about the man, than the man has to say about himself (after all, we know the many by his actions).

So, if she's right, you can be sure that Bush's book will sell more than the man's book -- Cheney's book.

[opihimoimoi]

17. Can Pickles write?? Stepford people got no input for book writin

Prolly goes
FREEDOM, Terrorists, Freedom, Stay the course, Terror, Freedom, Mission Done, etc etc.

[justjones]

20. A chimp writing an entire book w/ their toes would be awfully hard...

and illegible. Maybe MJ's Bubbles could do it, but I'm not to sure pResident chimp could do it.....

[CatWoman]

21. well, you'll be pleased to know that he's brushing up on his phonics

[opihimoimoi]

24. Too Late, the guy is into making up his own vocab. Just makes up words

trying to impress us with important sounding words I guess. And here I thought only lolo people did that. I guess American Presidents do it too.

[justjones]

29. No, that's not going to work. Here's the answer:

[opihimoimoi]

31. From another Chimp? Inquiring minds need to know, LOL

[Octafish]

23. Infinity X infinity X infinity would still not be enough typing chimps.

"Hey, Unka Dick! Can I touch this button?"

[Hubert Flottz]

25. How to kick yo media ho in the butt?

By Velvet Panties BoooShhhh?

Leave out the AAAAAUUUHHHHHHHHs and DDDDUUUUUHHHHHHs and you'd have a sum total of one word x 123423987654532145 and that word would be, ME! If Shrub was really inspired by a vision the 5 minutes he was writing the book, you may also get I, Mine, and MY in the mix! The only smart things in the entire text would be the parts the publisher puts in, "Once Upon A Time" and "The End"!

Bush Footnotes

Footnote # 1. AAAUUUHHHHHH!
Footnote # 2. DDDUUUUHHHHH!
Footnote # 3. DUH,,,,I DON'T KNOW!
Footnote # 4. AAAUUUHHH,,,,I DIDN'T DO IT CLINTON DID!

[opihimoimoi]

30. Damn you Hubert, this is the 3 rd time I gatta clean my keyboard.

You guys are too freaking funny.

Come, we see if we can get MAD Magazine to PUBLISH

[Hubert Flottz]

33. If Shrub writes the way he reads, you'd have to stand on your......

head to read the STUPID thing! The Boy is Dixlicksick! Has the mental agility of a soap dish!

[opihimoimoi]

34. Shrub is gonna be ASHES, not Toast, but way beyond

People are waking up at last. The man is not a leader, certainly not a Statesman, and is hampered by his depends as he makes important speeches.

Bush will go down in History a the guy who couldn't.

[Hubert Flottz]

35. I ain't figured out if he has his panties in a wad or::::::::::::::::::::

a wad in his panties?????? Bush should stick to the Funnypapers and leave the books to someone with a brain! Trouble is, I don't think he knows anyone with a brain!

[opihimoimoi]

43. The only guy with a brain at BushCo was Clarke.... but Bush refused to

talk to the man. Too bad, coulda looked good but, No, had to go with his gut feeling, which, like most of the others, was a bad bet.


To answer the question, its a no brainer, the panties are in a wad.

BTW, Bush even shows signs of not comprehending the funnies. The PDB file had been rendered into comic book level for the chimp in charge.

[Hubert Flottz]

54. Why was the Army lady looking up those Iraqi prisoners asses?

Just following orders from hindquarters err.. headquarters, to leave no 'stone' unturned in the fruitless search for Bush's missing WMD, is my best guess! Bush will prolly tell all in his new upcoming epic thriller book, 'My Struggle', in which he will no doubt explore many solutions, final or otherwise! I swear Opihi, anyone who is still stupid enough to uphold the inhuman things these GOPers are up to, is truly a fukt up individual! SHAMEY SHAME SHAME!

[opihimoimoi]

66. Its a shame she gatta be taking the blame but if I live and breathe

there will be stories of the intense pressure coming from very high up to find the WMD.

So high was the pressure that torture was suggested and taken. Heads will roll on this one man.

[stilpist]

26. Not even if I was totally out of

toilet paper!!

:puke::puke::puke:

[Kathleen04]

27. Supposedly he already has two...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0826415520/ref=pd_sim_books_1/102-5989921-5280901?v=glance&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1591609186/qid=1083446936/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/102-5989921-5280901?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Though he probably didn't write much of either...

on edit: Make that 3:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0688174418/ref=pd_sim_books_2/102-5989921-5280901?v=glance&s=books

[napi21]

61. I didn't know anything about his books except for Hughs???

Why hasn't there been ANY publicity on them?

Of course I heard about Karen Hughs' book, but NOTHING about a Bush book!

Just why would that be? I mean, gee, we heard about Hillary's book LONG before it came out. We heard about Bill writing his book for years now. Heck, they both even got publicity on how much of an advance they got.

[ET Awful]

28. Only if the store was out of toilet paper. . . . . n/t

[opihimoimoi]

32. My Eyes My Eyes.... used to wipe ones rear? LOL

Maybe for starting the family barbie for hot dogs.

[LibDemAlways]

40. A while back I found a website that was selling

toilet paper with Bush's ugly mug on it. Maybe some enterprising person could get the rights to whatever piece of fiction Hughes or Rove concocted for him, and then turn it into "bathroom tissue." That's about all it would be good for.

[opihimoimoi]

42. LOL, that would be SO fitting

[SemperEadem]

36. Not "no"

but "HELL NO!!!!!"

[LandOLincoln]

37. Would I buy it? Fork no! I'd be too busy dodgin

the flyin porkers, and sharpenin my speed skates for the new ice rink in Hell.

[0007]

39. A book? It would take more than five pages to make a book.

[opihimoimoi]

45. "Can 4.8 pages sneak in?"

[Hekate]

41. Crayon's too hard to read

I don't think he can color inside the lines yet

Hekate

[opihimoimoi]

44. Are you hinting Toddler Lever? LOL

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

46. Well I bought "Tony and Me"

[opihimoimoi]

48. Thanks so much for that toon, made my day

LOL :bounce:

[gpandas]

47. it would take a lot of steadfast n/t

[opihimoimoi]

50. The Bush is not fast enough

An he not too "Steady" either.

[benburch]

51. If it were down to 4 cents...

and if the paper were good quality, it would make good TP for the old outhouse at my folk's farm...

[opihimoimoi]

52. Most likey too slippery from all that oil on it.

Snake oil that is.

[doni_georgia]

53. Wouldn't chimp-boy have to learn to READ first? n/t

[opihimoimoi]

55. He on the manga level, comic books

Pathetic. The people of the Earth are laughing their guts out at Bush. Even Saddam is laughing in his cell. Bush is making all of America looking Bad and like Shit. Get him out already.

[Failure]

56. How many words would it be? (nt)

[opihimoimoi]

60. About 25

Mostly cartoon pictures

[Failure]

64. probably publisher name address, copyright date etc...nt

[opihimoimoi]

65. He is................................ A MIND TOO FAR......................

Isn't he? Removed that is.....lol.

[Failure]

67. lights are on but nobody's home...nt

[opihimoimoi]

70. dim ones too

[AgadorSparticus]

58. wouldn't want to waste my beautiful mind on something like that.

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[truth2power]

59. Bush? Write a book??? Bwahahahahaha!!!! eom

[opihimoimoi]

62. I know, I know, the thought of it is Mind blowing

Off the scale....................................................

[corporatewhore]

68. Sure I Love Coloring Books!!

[LeahMira]

69. It's moot!

Bush? Write? A book?

ROTFLMAO!

[opihimoimoi]

71. Not Ed Zachery a believable thing.

[burrowowl]

73. Bu$h can write?

Can he write?

[opihimoimoi]

76. Of course he can WRITE, LOL, but would it be ledgible?

Comprehensible?

Cohesive?

Focused?

and on what level, Kindergarten to Ph D.... 3rd grade perhaps.???

[nefarious]

74. Give 1000 chimps a typewriter

And eventually you will get the White House whitewash.

[opihimoimoi]

78. over....6354756 trillion years?

[Elwood P Dowd]

75. He would make $100,000,000 minimum.

Halliburton, Exxon, Southern Company, BP, Shell, etc would buy thousands of copies each. Rush Limbaugh and Shaun Hannity would give away thousands of copies. It would be required reading for millions of church fundies. Pat Robertson would order every member of the 700 Club to buy ten copies. Faux News would give it glowing reviews and rank it second only to the Bible.

[opihimoimoi]

77. LOL, in our dreams/ Not after this past Month of Statesmanship

Wreckage upon the reefs of Sanity

The Boys in the Basement have gone thru 6 cases of Scotch, 12 vodkas, 53 whiskey, and 32 gin cases.

They are pressured to find ways to bail out the Prez.

Mission Impossible........................................0

[arwalden]

79. Not Even If It Were A Pamphlet

Elaine : Would you like something to read?

Oldlady: Do you have anything light?

Elaine : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... how about this leaflet, 
         famous Jewish sports legends?

Oldlady: Yes, thank you.

[opihimoimoi]

81. Bush most likely go for something like :MY PRETZEL AND I

or, FEAR OF HORSES BECAUSE OF THE MERRY GO ROUND

[historian]

82. I would give it to john cleese

I'm sure he could use it for a hilairous movie

[opihimoimoi]

83. Like in CORKY REMENDEZ?

[Hubert Flottz]

84. NO,,,, I wouldn't read it if it was free because..........................

I only read Nonfiction!