Beginning to enjoy ignorance - always good for a sad laugh

[historian]

So here it is - I live in a small fundie place (how i got here i dont know) and some time ago some local cretin asked me if i was xtian. No i said im jewish (though at heart an atheist).
Oh says she so you dont believe in god
no we do
you cant she said you dont believe in jesus
jesus was a jew i reminded her
no no he was a christian
(i had to pretend to blow my nose so i wouldnt laugh in her stupid face)
but jews celebrate xmas i told her
really? how?
we pray to the god of retail that you will fill our stores for xmas, spend money you dont have to give to people you dont particularly care for in order to celebrate the birth of someone who belongs to a race you cant stand.
blank stare in response
still felt good

[gpandas]

1. they're everywhere, they're everywhere! n/t

[movonne]

2. This was really good... I wish I could think that fast. Loved it.

[historian]

3. oh lots more if you like

for example some jehovahs came to my door (after i told them repeatedly to piss off) and i happened to be cutting meat at the time. Went to the door with large bloody knife and told them if they could wait a moment i wanted to finish sacrificing to the devil and would be right with them
would they like to come in?
havent seen em since

[liberalhistorian]

4. ROFLMAO!

Oh, man, if only I had the guts to try that!! And, speaking as a liberal Christian, I'm not surprised at the level of ignorance about Jesus and other religions that too many Christians display. It's depressing, but I do my part to enlighten the ignorant, as do my fellow churchgoers.

[historian]

5. try this one

this was beautiful
some fundies came to the door and before they could knock i opened it and said with great joy "oh are you xtians?"
Yes they said
Oh good i said im so glad
their eyes lit up as they thought of the donations they might squeeze out of me
I'm not familiar with the religion but i understand that Jesus was a very good man who preached love of neighbor and compassion to the less fortunate
oh yes yes
oh good i said cause i lost my job, am going to lose my house and my children and i will be homeless
can you help with the mortgage?
er...ah...um.... as they began to edge away

[liberalhistorian]

7. LOL!

Oh, man, that's PERFECT!!!!

[Political_Junkie]

6. ROFLMAO

That's too good!

[Kukesa]

8. Now that's funny!

n/t

Kukesa

[mrfrapp]

9. Jehovah's Witness Story

I had a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door a couple of years ago. After several minutes of noticable indifference one of them said, very politely, "I hope we're not intimidating you, we're really very friendly". In response, I explained to him that he didn't and that I had seen him around town playing guitar in a local metal band... Stunned silence. "Oh, that must have been a very long time ago", he chuckled. It wasn't, it was the week before. What amused me though was the look his mate gave him, as though he was thinking, "Heavy metal? Why, that's the devil's music!"

I must admit I felt a little guilty after they had left. Would he have gotten into trouble over this? I don't know anything about the religion but I hope not.