I'm going to shoot my neighbor

[guitar man]

That's right,I'm going to go shoot his ass. I should be able to get away with it on grounds of "preemptive self defense." I just know he is going to attack my family or do something else horrible to us. The police say they need more evidence to do anything to him. They said if he comes over here to hurt us, I can shoot him, but I am not going to wait for that to happen.

I know he has a gun because my dad sold him one about 20 years ago. Daddy and him were friends back then, but then they had some kind of a beef,and he tried to kill my daddy! He says he got rid of the gun,but I know he didn't. He's a bad guy too. He beats his wife and kids all the time. That ought to be enough to justify shooting him by itself,shouldn't it?

So I've made up my mind, he's going down! What if the police don't find the gun? That's ok,I should still be able to get away with it. all I have to do is convince everybody he was a bad man that wanted to hurt us, everything will be ok.

(Shhh! I'm going to let you in on a secret. The REAL reason I am going to off his ass is he has a big stash of loot hidden in his attic. He really IS a bad guy,so nobody will be sad that he's gone,but I'm gonna make off with the loot while I'm at it!)






<disclaimer: The contents of this post are purely satire/sarcasm. I am NOT going to actually shoot my neighbor or anyone else in real life> :eyes:

[nadinbrzezinski]

1. Sadly hearing Bernie Ward

discuss wiht a RW idiot and tear him apart... over the Sadamn is a threat to us right now?

[Must_B_Free]

2. You mean like Mrs. Erlich would like to shoot Brittney Spears?

he he, er, uh, just an expression...

[guitar man]

5. well, I have had this idea in my head

...for a while. How to draw a paralell between the *shrub administration's flagrant disregard for international law and the *same* actions more or less in a civil law context. I wish I were a better writer. I know what I want to convey,I just wish I were a better wordsmith.

[alittlelark]

3. Press Release: GTRMAN Named to Bush* Cabinet.

pResident Bush* states, "He's a man who understands what it is to be a great American! He understands that sometimes ya gotta be smug...uh, strong and derisive in the face of evil-doers. He is a patriotic 'mercun and remembers 9-11 as the turning point in American history towards a New World Or..............uh New world of peacefullness and happiosity".

[Egalitarian]

4. Aww, that was great. Thanks (nt)

[guitar man]

6. :)

:)

[thebigidea]

7. Terry Jones did that routine a year ago in the Guardian, great piece

[Egalitarian]

10. Here

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,6903,882459,00.html

[guitar man]

11. wow

I had never seen that one. He really lays it all right out there.

Thanks for posting that :)

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

8. And don't forget, once you free his wife and kids from his abuse,

make sure a few of your own kids rough them up some. Take pictures of it too, cuz it'll be funny. After all, you freed them, so why not do what you want with them?

[izzie]

9. Well you just may be right as these people may have thoughts.....

that they are going to get you and better you get them, than they get you.Do you know what evil is in their hearts?

[the Kelly Gang]

12. has he got WMD in his garden shed ?

[Eye and Monkey]

13. Chemical weapons. See in the photos, here's a chemical plant.

Oops, sorry, that's a rose plant. THIS, now, this is a chemical plant.

Fertilizer, you say? In a garden shed? Heh! Naive.