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Now, before any of you go off the rails, thinking Ol' Tandy has pulled out that tired and hoary old saw about Chimpy and his reputed prediliction for Peruvian Marching Powder, jump down and hear me out. I am, after all a little more thoughtful and subtle than that, and I must say that I am not 100% convinced that our Maximum Leader clearly knows the pleasures and vicissitudes, not to mention the unmistakable tang and bouquet, of a 12 inch Texas Gag Rail of fine ether-washed Peruvian Flake. Oh, I am 99% convinced, but not 100%. No sirree. Can't pin me down there.
No, what I am on about is Cocaine Politics. How many of you did some get-down serious Rail Hoggin'? C'mon. Fess up. Raise them hands. No, not you dabblers and weekend warriors. I mean real he-man, two-fisted, blowing-money-out-your-ass Krell Rangerin'.I did. After all, I spent 27 years in the music business, on tour, and in spite of what you all might think, we did not stay in our rooms, on a night off, curled up with a hot cocoa and Gideon's Bible.
The way I see it, one of Chimpy's real bases comes from the most solid demographic of The Cocaine Generation. There was one of those too. A shitload of people spent an awful lot of time and an awful lot of money(I want some of that money BACK, dammit!) chasing down, buying and snorting lots and lots of white hydrochloride salts derived from a bush that grows high in the Andes. It was cool. Hell, it was one of the USDA foodgroups.
Cocaine brings with it an ethic. This ethic, for the real players, is a simple, two-word declarative phrase: "F*** You". An old friend of mine, a wonderful woman who was a DJ in Cleveland and ran the Cleveland Agora's production department, "Joyce The Voice", always said "Cocaine has bad manners". Joyce was right. It did and does. There are few things more obnoxious and selfish as the committed Gakker in full effect. Sweet Bleedin' Jeebus on a Garage Creeper, they are just abhorrent. A vexation to the spirits of all around them, and they would kick their mother in the head for another line and the fun of it.
But you see, if you really take a look at Chimpy's base, those people who really, really turn out for him and drop the escarole in his lap by the bale....that's them. At least a lot of them. The stylish, cool, hip, forty-to-fifty-ish self-actualizing people of the new milleneum. Shit, some of them were dealers. Know it. Those call themselves "Pioneers" now.
Look around. Thoughout the whole thing you see Cocaine Politics and Ethics. Rove? Cocaine Politics. Hughes? Ditto. Squawking Heads? You betcha. Ann The Man? Someone please tell the bitch she has Baker's Nose. Racicot? Google "Alfred Luciano+Montana". Gingrich, Norquist, DeLay, Frist, et al? Sheeeeeit.Enron? Ya' think? All that money and partying, IN TEXAS? The Florida Republican Party? BWAH!
Take it from one who has played that town, gotten the tshirt and the bj: Cocaine Ethics has grabbed the government, and their attitude is that you can just go bite their d*** if you don't like it. "Lemme introduce you to my leetle fren'" Because that is good, proper, acceptable and appropriate Cocaine Ethics. It's rude, it's greedy, it's grasping and it doesn't give a damn about you.
Sounds like a political party we know, doesn't it?
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