3 Things That Bug Me More Than The Term 'Bitch'

[Plaid Adder]

Since we're talking about this, apparently...

It is not that I don't often get a kind of pain in my side when I see people bashing this or that conservative woman in what I feel are misogynistic ways. However, the term 'bitch' is not generally what sets this off. Here are some things you can see any day at DU that IMHO are much *more* of a problem from a gender politics standpoint than any use of the term 'bitch' in its proper context would be:

1) "Ann Coulter is a man."

You know what, she's not a man; she's just a really annoying woman. Now I sure as shit understand why she annoys people, but the fact is that as a lesbian it annoys the hell out of *me* to see people trying to deny a woman the right to be a woman just because they don't like what she's doing. Why does it annoy me? Because people on the right have been doing the exact same thing to lesbians--and to all women who do not cower before their awesome patriarchal power--for many, many years. It was a bullshit tactic then and it's a bullshit tactic now. Being a woman has got nothing to do with being nice, and not being a doormat does not make you a man. Being a psychotic right-wing lunatic does not necessarily make you a man either (Hannity and O'Reilly take note).

2) "Condi Rice needs to get laid" and related comments.

Again, I fully understand the need to bash Condoleeza Rice, but to use her status as a woman to do that pisses me off. You know what, Ashcroft could use a good lay too. I realize that Boondocks started this whole thing, but it has spawned a whole genre of Condi-bashing based on this idea that she's either a frigid spinster, a repressed lesbian, or Bush's bitch (as it were). My view of Condi is that her problem is that she's a coldhearted ruthless liar who will say or do anything to advance her own interests or cover her own ass. Whether she's gettin' some is entirely beside the point, and it only comes up because once again this is one of the traditional ways that the right has attacked powerful women: oh, if they could only just get some good lovin' at home they wouldn't be so crazy and messed-up and wanting to have careers and the vote and suchlike things.

3) Any and all of the crypto-sex threads sprouting up all over the lounge on any day of the week.

Now I recognize that there are good reasons not to actually try to police any of this stuff, including the fact that not everyone would agree with me about all this. BUT, for that same reason, I feel it would be a mistake to ban the use of the term 'bitch,' because I do think it serves a descriptive purpose. Gender differences are real, even if they are socially constructed, and being a bitch is not exactly the same thing as being an asshole. And I reserve the right to call a bitch a bitch, if and when it should ever become necessary.

'Bitch-slap,' IMHO, is more problematic because of course it starts going down that road where hitting women is funny, which is something I don't take kindly to. But that si a whole nother story.

Sorry it's long,

The Plaid Adder

[swag]

1. "Bitch-slap" is for idiots and jerks

It's an MTV kind of word. Fer shitheads fer sher.

I don't mind sex on DU at all, mind you.

[DarkPhenyx]

16. Yeah!

And we should bitch-slap anyone that uses it too!

[Cursive_Knives512]

2. Thank you for saying that!

While I still personally object to the term "bitch," but especially your first point really hits it on the nail!

[ElsewheresDaughter]

21. Babe In Total Control Here ...acronym.... BITCH

[GumboYaYa]

3. Is it possible that comments like the ones made about Condi are

more commentary on the notion that repressing one's sexuality causes one to become more aggressive in other aspects of his/her life? Frequently you hear people say that maybe GWB just needs a blow job. I don't read this as a sexist statement, but rather as a recognition of his prudishness.

[Plaid Adder]

6. See nothingshocksmeanymore's response to post #70

in the mods' thread abotu this for the explanation of why it's a problem to use this argument against a woman. She does it pretty succinctly.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[GumboYaYa]

26. Wow, I think that response is completely off the mark.

I can not recall one post that I have seen on DU that has devolved into a discussion that borderline advocates rape or however NSMA described it. That may be true of other forums, but I have not seen it on DU. Maybe I avoid those threads, but honestly that seems like a complete misstatement to me.

[noonwitch]

4. I get your point, but I am proud to be a bitch, sometimes.

Mostly when I get called it, it's because someone is mad at me for being right.

[tnlefty]

11. Or when expressing one's point of view as opposed to sitting down and

being quiet like a "good little girl".

I get called a "damned librul bitch" rather often, along with some other things.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

5. Now as far as the "getting laid" thing...

I apply that one equally to men...sometimes more so. If Smirk could at least get a hummer now and again maybe we wouldn't be in this mess.

[tom_paine]

7. Relax, Plaid, as much as I respect your work and views...

1) Telling a guy he looks like a girl is an insult. Telling a woman she looks like a man is an equivalent insult for the same reason. Mountasin out of a molehill. Most people who say "Ann Coulter is a Man" aren't harshing women in general with that comment. They are harshing Annthrax the Mannthrax.

It is only you who perceives it as such and allows it to upset you. IMHO, there is much more important stuff to get upset about these days, and I'm sorry but you should know better, Plaid.

2) Many guys need to get laid, too. Rummy, Cheney, etc. You may be right about people leaning on Sleezy but I think that's more about her single-ness (I'm single too, but that does carry with it an added baggage of outside perception vis a vis "needing to get laid") than her female-ness.

3) Don't know what to say about that except "Relax." men and women have been exchanging double-entendres and sexual innuendo for, oh, probably about A MILLION YEARS (literally, I'll bet one of the first words was for "f*ck" and the next was for "flirt" (as applies to males, too). I don't have a preoblem with sexual banter (so long as it isn't spiteful or mean or bigoted. Why should you care about what two consenting adults choose to discuss, even if you don;t persoanlly agree.

Think about it, Plaid. You're a smart woman. Think about it.

[dolo amber]

8. I always thought

people said "Ann the Man" because she resembles a drag queen, not because of her personality...

:shrug:

[thebigidea]

20. I thought the Adam's apple was a big part of the puzzle

[dolo amber]

29. Ah-HA!

:7

[ronnykmarshall]

24. No respectable drag queen

would be caught dead in some of the crap she wears.

[dolo amber]

28. Ahhh...touche

Hence the "man" part of the phrase...any respectable drag queen would be able to eliminate the question...;)

[rucky]

9. Skinner has a thread about this

Why did you start your own?

[skypilot]

10. What's a "crypto-sex" thread??

*

[latebloomer]

27. And what is wrong with them?

[phrenzy]

12. Good luck

If you can't judge speech by its context (i.e. blacks using "nigga" in a casual way with each other) you're gonna find yourself offended by just about everything.

[Bread and Circus]

13. You know what bugs me....

Bush :P

LOL

[Loonman]

14. Ladies, we just aren't talking to you....

...some of you {men} are bitches, too.

- Ice T

[ElsewheresDaughter]

15. i do believe "bitchslap" originated in a prison setting and referred to

a cons lover ....just what i've read somewhere and it could be wrong :shrug: and i agree with you on all points

[corporatewhore]

17. 1 and 3 i can see but 2 as a woman doesnt bother me because

i do think that if the whole right wing needs to stop being sexually repressed and having their frustrations manifesting in weird and creppy ways

[kanrok]

18. I agree with 2 and 3

But c'mon... The reason Coulter is a man has nothing whatsoever to do with his viewpoint. HE HAS A FREAKIN' ADAM'S APPLE, fer crissake!

[Guaranteed]

19. I hear ya, Plaid.

I totally understand what you're saying here, and I agree with almost all of it. These things you mention are crude means of expression and I don't (or at least I try not to) engage in them.

My thing, though, is that I have a real serious volition against censorship. This is the side I'm always on when these kinds of issues come up.

Great post, very well put. Thanks. :)

[AlinPA]

22. I agree, but sometimes I say "son of a bitch" and I mean it,

but when I'm referring to one of those right wingers and Bush* people. SOB applies to Rove.

[patriotvoice]

23. Norway is a woman's paradise

Norway has passed Iceland, and it is now the best country in the world for women to live in, according to a new UN report.

Norway is definitely the best country to live in for women when it comes to political participation, economic independence, equality, health and social security benefits for women, reported the Norwegian paper Dagbladet

http://pub.tv2.no/nettavisen/english/article209973.ece

--
I was going to post this link in LBN, but I felt it more on-topic here. And no, I'm not saying "move to Norway if you don't like it here in the US;" I'm just relaying a link.

[Redbear]

25. Wow. Great Points.

Thank you.

[nolabels]

30. I might be guilty of this, I don't know

I would only try to look at matter if such matters are relative to matters at hand. I can handle the truth and it should be no secret to anybody that one part of the sexual persuasion can have the other wrapped around one's finger.

I don't really know if or why some people think this would be sexist describing such details being that is a fact of life in almost all biology. Even being of male persuasion I can easily say men are pigs. I also try to go out my way to be differential to women (testosterone kicks in once in while).

If this type of thing is too difficult to discuss, then what is the use of discussing anything. Men and women cannot be liberated when each of the parts expects the other to act like they want instead of like they feel they need. This is kind of a sophomoric discussion, and posting things derogatory about others on the board is against the rules.

I really would like to stay above the level, but when something of that degree is looking you strait in the face, then it is time to speak up

Torn and jaded, but calling the bluff

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.' - General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)"

http://www.miniluv.com/mt/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=47

[Plaid Adder]

31. Folks, if you read the post

you will note that my original point was to argue AGAINST banning the term 'bitch,' and I would also like to point out that I say that it would NOT be a good idea for the mods to get involved in trying to stamp out any of the 3 things I mentioned. I'm just sayin' they bug me. My guess is they also bug some other people. You all don't have to care about that, and clearly many of you don't. Which is all as it should be. My position here is that it's y'all's right to call Ann Coulter a man if you want, and it's also my right to point out why that pisses me off.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder