Predictions for: "We've Got Osama" Date

[crissy71]

I say Oct 30

[rucky]

What does the winner get?

October 10th - any later & it's too obvious

[crissy71]

9. free subscription to High Times

[tom_paine]

15. For the same reason I'm guessing Sept. 18th

To gibe nicely with the Bushevik Imperial Convention to be held in a city the Emperor and his Stooges loathe for the same reasons Osama does.

[NewJeffCT]

1. Halloween

Oct 31, they will capture somebody that looks suspiciously like him... and, then a few days after, it will be a fake.

[CaptainClark23]

10. Like, um...lessee...

Richard Reid, fer instance?

[crissy71]

21. Or that guy from "All of Me"

In dee bowl...in dee bowl

[displacedtexan]

2. Nov. 1

What do I win if I'm correct?

[DuctapeFatwa]

3. Leaked copy of classified memo to Tenet and Cheney

Dear Messrs. Tenet and Cheney,

Attached please find the results of our latest and we believe, our most impressive, effort to provide the Occupation Forces a credible Osama bin Laden in time for the fall launch of your new automated vote "tally" system. We understand the new system is modelled on the manual process that has been employed so successfully in Egypt for many years, and we would like to extend our congratulations to the Diebold company for this significant contribution to democracy.

To return to the subject at hand, you will notice that all the gentlemen included in this latest lot are of the required height, and we apologize for the inclusion in a previous submission of a few who fell short of this specification. We regret any inconvenience our error may have caused.

You will also note that each specimen has been fitted with state of the art contact lenses, and provided with either chemical hair color or implants, whichever was most appropriate in the individual case. We have also taken the precaution of treating the specimens with a dual process melanin-enhancement process, consisting of daily full-body treatments in the sunbeds installed in our finest 5 star hotels in Karachi, and we have taken the additional precaution of coating each specimen with the universally recognized tan enhancer, in order to bring all skin tones into spec compliance.

We have also taken care to assure correct and natural-looking facial hair in both configuration and coloring.

As per our agreement, each specimen comes dressed in a fashionable but conservative swimtrunk or unitard, and all costume selections will be billed and shipped separately.

While it is true that we were unable to secure a reputable Yemeni source, we are aware that the United States and Norway have a long-standing and cordial history of both trade and diplomatic relations, and we believe that both you and Agent. bin Laden will be pleasantly surprised and extremely pleased with the results we have been able to obtain with these Norwegian specimens.

Naturally, we would have preferred to work with a domestically available raw resource, but unfortunately, the height requirement as stated in the purchase order was incompatible with the relatively short stature of most Pakistanis, with the exception of the Balochs, of course, but believe us, you don't want to go there.

As always, it is a pleasure to do business with you and we look forward to working with you to insure a festive and successful Spring Offensive.

Sincerely,

Liutenant General Ehsan ul Haq
Inter-Services Intelligence

[thebigidea]

7. Ha! Dead-on as usual, sir...

[myrna minx]

17. Brilliant.

:toast: My guess is that said speciman will be wheeled into the Republican National Convention ala Hannibal Lecter. :shrug:

[tom_paine]

34. You never cease to amaze me, Ductape Fatwa!

That is one awesome and witty post!

:toast: :toast:

[DuctapeFatwa]

42. LOL Thanks to all for all the love, feel free to send it out, but please

fix Lieutenant, I messed that up.

Spell checks are crutches for the weak.

[LifeDuringWartime]

4. November 2nd.

won't be able to investigate until it's too late.

[ewagner]

5. During the Repub convention n/t

[mike1963]

6. No, that's a Saturday...wrong day for the news cycle. Oct. 26 or 27.

;-)

[Love Bug]

8. Well, this just begs for someone to start a "pool"

Does anyone want to put one together? Who can we trust to hold the money? :crazy:

[bluestateguy]

11. No,no, no

They will trifecta this:

Osama "capture": Shortly after Labor Day

WMD's are "found": Early October

Ronald Reagan "dies": Last week of October, in time for a "win one for the Gipper" memorial service before election day.

[mrdmk]

12. How about soon, just in time for another Mini Series!

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2027&ncid=2027&e=2&u=/chitrib_ts/20040128/ts_chicagotrib/usplansalqaedaoffensive

Not to hijack your thread, but if there is a new administration, how many people at the Pentagon will loose their jobs?

[lancdem]

13. Early fall

But I wonder if it will backfire, especially since people have been talking about his already being captured and being held for the right moment to help Bush.

[crissy71]

24. If it gets batted around enough

it may backfire - here's hoping

[RedEarth]

14. I'm a little more optimistic.....10/15

[cjbuchanan]

16. I do find it interesting that Bush & Co. are starting to mention his name

Osama has been missing from speeches for over a year, but now his name is popping up again. The non-conspiracy side of me wants to think it's because the media is no longer being distracted by Iraq (you know, it's not like there is still a war going on there), but the other side of me does wonder if they have something "in the works."

If Bush, Cheney or Powell (where has he been lately) start mentioning him, then I will start giving more thought to these ideas.

[KansDem]

18. July 4th, or maybe during the GOP convention...

Bush will be just ready to give his speech when Andrew Card walks out on stage and whispers in his ear. Bush beams a huge smile and yells out (but not loud enough to incur the wrath of the media), "WE GOT BIN LADEN!!!"

The 1,000 piece band (since this will all be planned, Rove will have hired the largest band in convention history) will suddenly break into "Hail to the Chief" while thousands of red, white, and blue balloons and streamers drop from the ceiling. There will be thunderous applause from the convention goers lasting 12, 15, 20 minutes as Bush waves to all in the audience as he swaggers back and forth on the stage, and a large screen behind him flashes "WE GOT HIM!!!" There might even be some footage of US troops shuffling Osama in 'cuffs into a waiting military vehicle. The media whores will cut to an "interview" with Zell Miller, who will be shaking his head and saying "The Democrats might as well give up now!" as the presstitudes nod furiously in agreement.

[southerngirlwriter]

40. Oh. My. Gawd.

That is so horrifying, disgusting, revolting, sickening, and maddening....

that it's actually plausible from this bunch.

I think you've got it.

[dae]

19. Captured during Dem convention tried, and fried right before the election.

[Logansquare]

32. I'm with you--Dem convention for sure

[Wapsie B]

41. Yup.

Dem convention time.

[0007]

20. Double Whammy!!!

The CIA apprehends bin Laden, but due to unforeseen delays because of weather conditions in Afghanistan the verification isn't made until one day after junior is defeated at the polls.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

22. I've been saying September 5th for months

wouldn't that be a nce day to bring him out of the cell they've had him in all these months.

[Cat Atomic]

23. Sept. 8th.

It'll give them plenty of time to whoop it up, and then lead into the big party in New York.

[radwriter0555]

25. Never. He's been dead since December of 2001.

n/t

[spinbaby]

30. You're probably right

But I'm sure that there are plenty of men who look enough like Osama to be a convincing "capture."

[eridani]

38. Likely, but there are a lot of body doubles

And if dead, he could be in a freezer somewhere.

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. During repub convention

Which, lucky for them, will be over before the big anniversary attack. :eyes:

[cmf]

27. Right before the Repug convention.

That way they can celebrate their "victory" during the convention in NYC.

[peekaloo]

28. Oct. 10

time to cash in on the Osama craze for Halloween.

[throwthebumsout]

29. October 19

A Tuesday -- good day for the news cycle. Just in time for him to get a boost right before the election, but not so long before it that the boost fades. Too late for there to be any investigation as to where they've been hiding him all along.

[crissy71]

31. Update from Sanfrancisco Chronicle

A spokesperson for the U.S. command in Afghanistan says the U.S. military is "sure" it will catch Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar in 2004.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2004/01/29/international1522EST0673.DTL&type=printable

[Zinfandel]

43. Obviously because they've already caught bin Laden and just

waiting to bring him out at the most opportune time for Bush to cruise to an election victory (along with fixed electronic voting machines software)

[CityZen-X]

33. I say....

who cares if they find him or not. Do you really think it makes a difference? I say for a week or so then it will be a dead dog. Just like the Sadaam capture, or should I say purchase $$$$$$. Thats a whole lotta K's for those Kurds. Who knows maybe they got Osama on ice right now and are holding him for the highest bidder!

[Bucky]

35. October 4th's my b-day. I got dibs on that. Is this local time or E.S.T.?

Just askin'. Personally I do hope it's in enough time for us to ride out the news cycle and get to some of the inevitable "back story" that puts these big events into context (as the Kurdish "capture" of Saddam did).

[xxqqqzme]

36. Oct 26 - one week B4 the election

not enough time 2 debunk - late enough so the poll bump won't fade. 'Capturing' Saddam was a trial run, they'll do better 2nd time around.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

37. Here's when they actually caught him (Jan 22?)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=1070991

[Bucky]

44. Sorry, but that was just a rumor. The truth is always worse

Links courtesy of Talk Left

There was a rumor flying around last week that we'd captured Osama bin Laden, But the US denies it.

As the Washington Post reports, what happened was that "local Iraqi and U.S. forces" (meaning they did it and we're horning in on the credit) captured senior bin Laden associate Hassan Ghul. Note the potential evil lurking in the highlighted sentence:

Hassan Ghul, described as the most senior associate of Osama bin Laden found in Iraq, was picked up last week in the northern part of the country by Kurdish forces, the official said. "He was a senior facilitator who was caught coming into the country," the official said. Speculation was that Ghul, a Pakistani, was scouting out what al Qaeda could do in the future against U.S. forces, the official said.

Ghul has been part of al Qaeda for at least a decade and was known to deliver money to terrorist groups in the Middle East and Africa.

But please note that toppling Saddam Hussein has made us safer, if by "us" you're not counting 520 dead and thousands of seriously wounded American soldiers, or the new trend in dead American contractors that the insurgents are targeting now.

[Zinfandel]

39. Right before the republican convention, (NYC) in September!