A Quiz - Are You Presidential Material?

[Doctor_J]

Are You Presidential Material?

Take this simple quiz to determine whether you have what it
takes to lead the country in the fine manner that GWB has.
Just answer these questions and then check your rating at the
bottom of the quiz. Ready? (Feel free to add your own).

1. You receive valid intelligence that terrorists, led by a
religious fundamentalist and living in an oil-rich nation,
will attack the US, "by flying airplanes into buildings".
What do you do?

A. Go on TV and tell the citizens that a credible threat has
been discerned, and that it is being dealt with aggressively,
and that daily or twice-daily updates will be issued until the
threat has been dealt with.

B. Put the Air Force on high alert, and assign your National
Security Advisor to convene an ad hoc committee to uncover
suspicious news, like Saudi Muslims learning how to fly 767's.

C. Secure emergency funding for an immediate upgrade of
security at as many major airports as is feasible.

D. Say nothing to the American people, do nothing to prevent
the attack, advise your AG to begin flying in private jets,
and take a month-long vacation.

2. Your gallant effort to prevent the terrorist attack
ultimately fails when a small band hijacks US airliners and
kills approximately 3000 US citizens. While the attack is in
progress, you are engaged in a photo-op with some small
children. How do you react?

A. Immediately cancel the promo, thanking the people involved,
and head to your mobile HQ to take command of the situation.

B. Excuse yourself momentarily and give instructions to the
Chief of Staff to scramble the Air Force fighters and
otherwise begin preparing for an emergency, then return and
make a polite exit.

C. Excuse yourself momentarily and contact the Vice President
and SecDef, instructing them to begin emergency procedures,
then return and make a polite exit.

D. Finish the photo-op normally, while more planes hit
buildings, then board AF1 and fly directly away from the
trouble, while posing for another fundraising photo.

3. It turns out that the perpetrators of the attack are
actually supporters of a Middle East religious fanatic with
business ties to your father. How do you deal with this
problem?

A. Have members of your administration call interested and
useful people and tell them that we need to "pin this on
Saddam".

B. Ignore the actual perpretrators and attack instead a
country that you've already been bombing for 12 years and is
therefore nearly defenseless.

C. Have your lawyer defend the culprits against lawsuits filed
by the victims.

D. All of the above.

4. After committing thousands of troops to an occupation of
the foreign country for years, how do you reward their
bravery?

A. Give them a pay raise across the board, especially combat
pay.

B. Increase their health care, education, and pension
benefits.

C. Upgrade their equipment to provide state-of-the-art safety.

D. Cut their benefits, freeze their pay, give them obsolete
equipment, and fly across the world to get your picture taken
serving them turkey at 6:00 AM.

5. A former senior administration divulges that your entire
pretense for attacking Iraq was a lie that was cooked up
before your installation into office, and contradicts your
statements during the campaign that you would "not engage in
nation-building". WHat is your response?

A. Leak information that the official will be investigated for
revealing classified documents.

B. Blame the invasion on your predecessor.

C. Announce plans to colonize the moon.

D. All of the above.

6. Your administration has presided over the worst job loss in
the nation's history. What do you do to improve the
situation?

A. Raise and extend benefits so that the unfortunate people
and their families can continue to eat until the market is
repaired.

B. Impose modest tarriffs on imported goods and services, to
provide incentives for companies to hire US workers.

C. Champion a program like AmeriCorps, which costs very
little, provides short-term employment for those who need it,
and places willing workers in hard-to-fill positions.

D. Change the way the unemployment numbers are counted.

7. Your budgets contain defecits of nearly 1/2 trillion
dollars, shattering your father's record for fiscal
irresponsibility and putting the entire world's economy at
risk. How do propose to remedy the crisis?

A. Wipe out the deficit by increasing taxes on those who make
more than $1 million per year - approximately 0.1% of the
people.

B. Reduce spending by eliminating unneccessary/useless
programs such as missile defense.

C. Penalize companies who move to foreign countries to avoid
paying taxes, and those which, like Wal-Mart, pay their
workers so little that they remain in need of government
assistance to feed their families.

D. Pass a top-heavy tax cut, most of which will be returned in
campaign contributions, and commit the country to a
billion-dollar-per-week occupation of a foreign country.

8. A senior advisor commits treason by revealing the name of a
CIA agent and the company the agent works for. How do you
handle the situation?

A. Question your close circle of advisors, and when the
identity of the traitor is discovered, fire him or her
summarily the same day.

B. Direct your justice department to conduct a thorough, open
investigation to locate the traitor and administer swift,
harsh justice, up to and including the death penalty.

C. Appoint a special investigator to conduct a complete
investgation and recommend punishment for the traitor and a
plan for preventing further such treason.

D. Attend a scripted press conference at which you repeat the
words "leak", "leaker", and "leaked" over and over, go to a
fundraiser, and block an investigation until six months later.

9. During your residency, the nation was invaded for the first
time in almost two hundred years, Anthrax-wielding terrorists
killed innocent citizens in an attempt to murder Democratic
senators and members of the media, and someone in the White
House committed treason by outing a CIA operative. What
should be the top 3 priorities of your AG be, in order?

A. Invaders, anthrax bombers, traitor

B. Anthrax bombers, traitor, invaders

C. Traitor, invaders, anthrax bombers

D. Covering up nude statues, "protecting marriage" with a constitutional amendment, and harrassing theperson who
blew the whistle on your corruption.

======

Grades - If you chose an answer besides "D" on any question,
you are either not corrupt, mean, or dumb enough to succeed
George W. Bush. Sorry.

[Liberal in Ohio]

1. Excellent

where did that come from?