I don't know if this is really GD material, but I'd hate for it to go down in flames in the lounge. LOL. I sent this to EVERYONE I know, and I rarely do that. It made me laugh at first, then it terrified me because of how accurate it was. Enjoy:
25 Rules For Being A Good Republican: (by Michell Holman)
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for your "recovery."
- You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
- You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
- You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.
- You have to believe that pollution is OK, so long as it makes a profit.
- You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
- "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
- You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
- You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.
- You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
- You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.
- You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
- You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
- You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.
- You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.
- You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.
- You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science," but Creationism should be taught in schools.
- You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
- You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
- You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
- You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter."
- You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
- You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.
- You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant."
- You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.
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