"Deeply Embarrassed White People Talk Awkwardly About Race"

[OneGrassRoot]

"Please Don’t Stop Reading This Story About Race Just Because You’re Not Racist"

by Jen Graves


Every conversation about race is tortured—palpably awkward, loaded with triggers, marked by the blind spots of perception and presumption—but that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong or should stop doing it, says Scott Winn. That means you have to keep on.

<snip>

I ask her how to talk about racism with people who don't want to see it. I'm not talking about Tea Partyers; I'm talking about people like some of my friends and family, lefties who care, people who are on my team. Attempts to bring up race in editorial meetings at The Stranger have been as klutzy as anywhere. Even for perfectly decent, well-meaning, progressive people, it can be hard to see the connection between unintended acts of racism and actual racial injustice.

<snip>

I ask how often she encounters resistance to conversations about race among white people in Seattle who consider themselves progressive.

"I'd say every day," she says. "We're confused about it and we've been taught to be defensive about it. I don't think we should be too surprised about that."



http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/deeply-embarrassed-white-people-talk-awkwardly-about-race/Content?oid=9747101

[WorseBeforeBetter]

1. I'm not embarrassed in the least.

Just two minor examples: I'm the lily-white liberal who speaks up at work about racism in the local media and why Durham, NC, with a large African-American population, gets such a bad rap. I'm also the one speaking out about NC black clergy who oppose marriage equality.

Unrec for more progressive bashing...not all of us are "confused" or "defensive."

[OneGrassRoot]

2. Really? You view this as "progressive bashing"?

Wow, that makes me really sad.

Especially sad because we're neighbors and both aren't afraid to talk about racism and bigotry, as you said.

:(

Edit to add that this is another example of what I JUST DON'T GET about this issue.

I don't understand why ANYONE takes this personally? If you don't agree or don't identify with what is being said, so be it. I posted because I found some of the things discussed of interest, and thought others may as well.

Why is everything being viewed as broad brushing and as personal attacks? It's becoming as though nothing can be shared, because people are assuming anything said is a mass dissing of all progressives.

I honestly just don't get that at all. :shrug:

[WorseBeforeBetter]

3. Perhaps I've spent too much time in GD: P lately.

It's toxic.

I didn't notice you were in NC. We both can appreciate how ugly things have gotten in this state, and it's starting to feel like a juggernaut that can't be stopped. White progressives stand with the NC NAACP in support of Wake County school diversity, yet many black churches are condemning "gay marriage," and in pretty hideous terms. Suffice it to say I'm frustrated (not to mention unemployment over 10%!).

Oh, well, off to bed. Keep up the good fight!

[OneGrassRoot]

4. I hear you...

It is VERY rough out there, and it IS toxic at DU.

Thanks for the kind reply.

:hi:

[zalinda]

11. The reason you find it toxic at DU

is because those who didn't support Obama from the primaries have been called racist over and over again, with such vitriol posts that many left DU in disgust.

zalinda

[OneGrassRoot]

12. I understand that's one reason....

yet I feel there are so many other reasons it's toxic.

It seems certain members -- and certain groups -- have a long, nasty history that there is no way to start a "fresh" discussion about anything. The history lingers and infects everything.

:shrug:

It's the best source for a wide variety of information though, so I do appreciate DU, and the knowledge of DUers.

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Tunkamerica]

8. Definitely hate the negative mindset about Durham.

Every story about a murder in Durham gets the usual racist comments online when Raleigh has about the same rate per capita of violent crime. Both cities rates of violent crime have dropped almost every year for the last decade.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

14. I can't even read the online comments at WRAL, etc...

it's like I can feel my blood pressure rising. I describe North Raleigh where I live as "vanilla" and much prefer Durham, especially downtown near the American Tobacco campus. And the "black Wall Street" history is fascinating...I really hope the downtown comes back.

[OneGrassRoot]

21. I prefer Durham too. They have so many more truly community-oriented projects...

and progressive programs going on.

Yes about blood pressure and WRAL. Haven't even clicked on for years. Ick. :(

[Demeter]

10. Neither Am I

My family didn't even get here until the 1900's, long after slavery, Reconstruction, etc. They didn't oppress anyone, and they worked to end Jim Crow. We have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

[OneGrassRoot]

13. Well, good for you...

Seriously. :)

And for you and others who feel as you do, if you are led to read the article at all (though I respect that you may have no interest and that the title alone is off-putting), perhaps you can consider how what is discussed might apply to others you know.

I have always had a very difficult time engaging others (specifically other white people I've known throughout my life) about the subject of racism and bigotry.

Not as it pertains to THEM, but the subjects in general.

Even though it's made clear from the start that it's not about THEM having any racist or bigoted views, and rather I just want to have a discussion about the systemic racism and bigotry in our country, they still immediately put up a wall and refuse to have any discussion. The mere mention of the words seems to trigger a reaction of them being offended (very inappropriately from my perspective), even though it wasn't directed at them whatsoever.

I'm witnessing the same phenomenon here, and I cannot wrap my brain around it.

I've come to accept that I won't be able to. The last two days showed me that.

C'est la vie.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

15. What cheeses me off about MHP is that...

if my dear, departed stepfather were still alive, I'm sure he'd be critical of some of Obama's policies. He was critical of some of Clinton's policies, and not forgiving IN THE LEAST as far as the, uh, "activities" in the Oval Office. My stepfather was a Korean War veteran, marched on Washington in the '60s, and was spit on by a Pennsyltucky wingnut while canvassing for Obama. For MHP to even suggest HE would be racist infuriates me and for that, she can kiss my tight white a$$. She's a set-back to race relations.

[Karenina]

18. Oh, good grief!

Just a friendly public service reminder. The questions being raised are NOT about YOU personally, nor anyone's dearly departed. If the shoe DOESN'T FIT you needn't spend any time pulling it on for all to see! ;-)

[Number23]

20. That graphic sums it up beautifully.

People absolutely RUNNING to put on shoes that don't fit. Makes ya wonder why they think it does in the first place, don't it?? :)

[Bucky]

16. 100% disagree. The article didn't say "all of us" are confused & defensive

You can't interpolate from your own personal experiences to how the rest of the world feels & acts. The article was addressing the awkwardness of the conversation, not the facts of the issue. It's not "bashing" to take time to frankly acknowledge weaknesses we mortals share. Frankness about as toxic a topic like the subliminal racism lurking in the shadows of society is rare--in large part because of the awkwardness that the tag "racist" elicits among thoughtful, if imperfect, people. In my experience, I've seen many highly intelligent people say patently idiotic things when the topic of race & racism come up. I know damn few Americans who can talk about race without saying stupid, unfactual things. Usually, the more certain they are of their experiences & opinions, the stupider they get. The reason for this is because race is a highly inaccurate way of assessing human nature--there's just not many, if any, correlations between what people are like and what their race is. Generalizations, which is what race labels always are, necessarily hide minority opinions. For instance, how many NC black clergy with pro-equality views on marriage did your own post omit? Quite a few, I'd wager.

[OneGrassRoot]

22. OMG, I love you....

No, really. I truly :loveya: you!!!

:hug:

This afternoon I decided to give up on trying to have any rational, honest discussion about this subject after witnessing what has happened over the last two days.

Thank you for understanding the intention of the post.

:)

[hlthe2b]

5. Thought -provoking article & my thoughts will be brief...

;) for once...


I read it fairly quickly as it is a rather long article, but worth the time. I can't say I found any disagreement with the points made in the article.

The issue of poverty in this country is rooted in racial bias and white privilege. I don't discount that. But very important accompanying factors are gender inequality/bias--particularly in the aftermath of welfare "reform" and class-ism with the rise of tax policies that benefit only the very rich and give corporations nearly unlimited power. I don't honestly think we will impact the one without addressing all.

[OneGrassRoot]

6. ...

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Robert_C]

7. Yeah! Seattle is reverse-racist.

I live in Western Washington and I concur. The vast majority of the public here is completely close-minded about racial and genetic issues. --- As a technical person who has worked in the scientific field of genetics, I asked one of my colleagues, who had just presented a paper on out-crossing-depression, how he deals with the irrational beliefs of the public. He said, "I just say, 'I'm a biologist. I don't believe that.'" --- Perhaps, that will work if you're a Federal employee, like him, but don't try it if you're in the private sector.--- The public education system needs to teach a little more truth about these things. Unfortunately, that needs to begin with re-educating the teachers.

[Bucky]

17. I'm a teacher. I would love to be "re-educated"

if only because that sounds like I'd be shipped off to a summer camp for free. Canoeing, arts & crafts, guitar lessons around the campfire at night... what fun! I just hope there aren't that many of those people along too. Yucky.

[aquart]

9. Everybody "hates" somebody.

Not a huge active way, but them vs us is a very natural human mindset.

My favorite way of describing it is an old George Wallace (black comedian not white racist governor) joke:

"Take Ireland. It just goes to show that where there are no blacks, Jews, or indians, people WILL improvise."

[Number23]

19. Rec'd. Thanks for posting but I see the knee jerk defensiveness got in on the first reply

It's still an excellent read and I hope that people will do just that.

[OneGrassRoot]

23. Thank you, and you're welcome...

I learned so much last week about our society as a result of the audience outbursts in the GOP debates, and learned even more over the last two days observing (and engaging in) the brouhaha triggered by MHP's piece.

Sad.

:(

[Hoosier Daddy]

25. Truth

K&R

[provis99]

26. heh. Tighty whitey Yankee handwringing about race.

Every time some white person up here in Indianapolis finds out I'm a white guy from Mississippi, they get "That Look", like you're going to whip out a Klan robe and show them your confederate money. Then they do one of two things: 1) they want to talk about black people, and how they aren't racist, or 2) they are racist, and want to talk about black people.

either way, it boils down to a bunch of white people standing around and talking about black people, while not a black person is in sight, and a conversation that seems to go nowhere except into the realm of silliness.