Rants vs. facts at Beck U. - Leonard Pitts Jr.

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http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100713/OPINION05/7130327/1322/Rants-vs.-facts-at-Beck-U.&template=fullarticle

POSTED: JULY 13, 2010
LEONARD PITTS JR.
Rants vs. facts at Beck U.
BY LEONARD PITTS JR.
MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS


A scene from the near future:

Augustus Merryweather IV glanced up at the tapping on his office door. Harvey Carbunkle stood there in bowtie and shirtsleeves, smiling eagerly from behind horn-rimmed glasses.

Augustus sighed. He hated this part of the job. It was never fun to let people go.

He waved the young man to a seat and spoke without preamble. "Harvey, I'm afraid it's not working out."

The eager face fell like a refrigerator from a moving truck. "You're firing me?"

"I have no choice. Your work, well ... it hasn't been up to the standard we expect for an editor at Merryweather Publishing. Frankly, I'm surprised. When I saw that you were a graduate of BU, I couldn't wait to hire you. Boston University turns out some great students."

"I didn't go to Boston University," Harvey said.

"Baylor, then. Still a great school."

"I didn't go to Baylor."

"But your résumé says you graduated BU."

A proud smile. "Yes, sir. That's Beck University."

Augustus was confused. "I've never heard of..."

"Beck University!" said Harvey, the smile widening. "You know, Glenn Beck? He has that show on Fox News. Also, that novel, that other book, that radio program, that stand-up act, that line of athletic shoes and that cologne. He founded an online university back in 2010 so people could learn the real truth they don't get in your so-called 'universities'." He made air quotes.

"So, when you rejected that Martin Luther King biography because it didn't mention how white conservatives started the civil rights movement..."

A sharp nod. "I learned that at Beck U."

"And when you told the author of that book on religion that 'pinko commie' is the preferred term for preachers who talk about social and economic justice..."

"Beck U."

"And when you asked why there was no reference to Nazi death panels euthanizing children in that book on health care reform..."

"Yes, sir! Beck U."

more...

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1. I'm wondering when the first complaints

from Beck U. "graduates" will come, because positions requiring a college degree won't accept their credentials.