Sarah Goes Mad [holiday fun for the slightly inebriated]

[Miss Authoritiva]

On Thanksgiving, gather your slightly buzzed family and friends to play Mad-Libs, Going Rogue-style. Text is based on the first few pages of Palin’s memoir.

It was the Alaska State Fair, August 2008. With the gray Talkeeta Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of volcanic ash about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet of everything small-town America with rugged splashes of _____.

Crystal meth and foot-long _____. Reindeer _____ on a stick. _____-___ed salmonberry wine. Banjo music played. Posters of aborted fetuses flapped in the wafting Arctic breeze. Bristol gasped at the record-breaking giant __________ grown under the midnight sun.

Since being elected governor in 2006, I had managed to rack up _____, though I didn’t _____. To me, it signaled that Alaskans, with their _____ spirit, wanted _____ and not _____-as-usual. In the Right to Life Booth, I smiled, dropped _____ into the can, and didn’t care who might be _____, including local reporters. Alaskans knew my _____. No news there.

At that moment, _____ vibrated me back to work. I ducked behind the booth, hoping it wasn’t some _____ political _____.

I punched the green _____ and moaned, This is Sarah.

It was Senator John McCain, asking if I wanted to help him change _____.

Image via Fark

(http://scriptoids.blogspot.com">Via)

[Miss Authoritiva]

1. Okay -- I gave it my best shot

It was the Alaska State Fair, August 2008. With the gray Talkeeta Mountains in the distance and the first light covering of volcanic ash about to descend on Pioneer Peak, I breathed in an autumn bouquet of everything small-town America with rugged splashes of insect-repellent DEET.

Crystal meth and foot-long mosquitos. Reindeer balls on a stick. Antifreeze-boosted salmonberry wine. Banjo music played. Posters of aborted fetuses flapped in the wafting Arctic breeze. Bristol gasped at the record-breaking giant Cannabis sativa grown under the midnight sun.

Since being elected governor in 2006, I had managed to rack up 5,000 hours on the tanning bed, though I didn’t ever peel. To me, it signaled that Alaskans, with their frozen tundra spirit, wanted well-tanned flesh and not pasty-white-as-usual. In the Right to Life Booth, I smiled, dropped Trig into the can, and didn’t care who might be appalled, including local reporters. Alaskans knew my sanctimonious hypocrisy. No news there.

At that moment, the fickle finger of fate vibrated me back to work. I ducked behind the booth, hoping it wasn’t some local, chaw-chewing political toady.

I punched the green knob and moaned, This is Sarah.

It was Senator John McCain, asking if I wanted to help him change into his evening gown for the Mrs. Alaska contest.

[BobTheSubgenius]

2. "Trig" almost made me spew club soda out of my nose.

Damn.

:toast:

[classysassy]

3. Go Home Sarah

the turkeys await you,I don't mean the gobblers,your loyal fans(fools).