Earth Destroyed By Large Hadron Collider; Martian Questioned

[Xipe Totec]

In a stunning piece of astronomical news, the planet Sol III — better known as “Earth” — has been completely obliterated. In connection with this sudden catastrophe, authorities have questioned a resident of neighboring planet Sol IV (Mars), who is known to have made threats against Earth in the past. This questioning is thought by many to be a formality, as most sources indicate that the destruction was caused by a foolhardy group of scientists in central Europe.

Rumors of the dangers inherent in the scientists’ project, known as the Large Hadron Collider, or LHC, began to circulate over a year ago amongst the population of Earth, though such concerns were widely denigrated by reputable scientists. The projects’ repeated failures to get properly going were met with suggestions that an elementary particle, which the LHC was meant to discover, was affecting the experiment retroactively through time travel. This is highly unlikely, of course, as the Time Police detected no eddies in the space-time continuum that would provide evidence of such tampering, though it is possible that this “Higgs boson” (as it was known to earthlings) is too crafty to leave traces. In any event, the LHC did in fact start back up several Earth days ago, and evidently in spite of the infinitesimal chance of anything going seriously awry, the Earth has possibly been swallowed by a newly minted black hole.

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2009/11/earth-destroyed-by-large-hadron-collider-martian-questioned

[ieoeja]

1. I have never been in the space-time continuum.

I wish people would stop accusing me of that.

Regards,
Eddie

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. *snarf*

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. LOL

[tridim]

4. On a more positive note.. the LHC is actually colliding beams today!

http://twitter.com/cern

CERN's press release has pictures of some of the first collisions http://bit.ly/8U6DVX. #CERN #LHC
about 1 hour ago from web There was a press conference earlier in the day, taking stock of what happened over the weekend
http://bit.ly/7TXLWH. #CERN #LHC

about 2 hours ago from web It's been an eventful day at CERN. It started with two circulating beams and ended with first collisions in four detectors. #CERN #LHC

about 2 hours ago from web TWO BEAMS ARE CURRENTLY CIRCULATING IN THE LHC! #CERN #LHC

about 9 hours ago from HootSuite Good morning from CERN. Over three days, the LHC has had two beams circulating with good lifetimes. It's a good solid start. #CERN #LHC

about 13 hours ago from HootSuite

[Xipe Totec]

6. The greatest bang since the Big One

- Eccentrica Gallumbits, The Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six

[cliffordu]

5. Register all theLarge Hadron Colliders NOW!!!

On the other hand, when Large Hadron Colliders are outlawed, only outlaw Martians will have them.....

[dave29]

7. 1!11!!!won gnikcuf thgir ssergnoc gnikcuf llaC

1!!seires m'I

[Xipe Totec]

8. What?! My mother was a saint! Get out!

Zoidberg: "Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain. No, nononono, not that mouth."
Fry: "I only have one."
Zoidberg: "Really?"
Fry: "Uh...is there a human doctor around?"
Zoidberg: "Young lady! I'm an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it, and say" (warbling noise)
Fry: "Uh.." (clears throat and does his best imitation)
Zoidberg: "What! My mother was a saint!!! Get out!"

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedia/EpisodeSounds/1ACV02/07.mp3

[dave29]

9. lol

:)