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A Most Amazing Story
By David Glenn Cox
It first broke on a Friday evening when most disquieting news is delivered up for public consumption. In Washington this is called a news dump, to dump the story too late for the Friday headlines and broadcasts, and hopefully it will be missed before the Sunday news shows. This story would evade the news dump theory because it was too large to miss. It involves money, sex, and power along with Washington politics and Hollywood entertainers.
Fox News was the first to pick up the story and to replay it in their full news cycle. The pundits spoke both for and against the story, but mainly against. They all had their own reasons for their opinions, and most were clearly written as zeros on their pay checks. Then the other media outlets began to run with the story as it was unavoidable. The story had all the earmarks of a media firestorm. It was the type of story that if used wisely and spent miserly could go on and last for weeks.
The networks searched their rolodexes, frantically trying to locate experts to serve as paid, on-air authorities. The job was easier than expected because the scope of the story lent itself to experts in multiple fields as well as experts in no field in particular. That is what made this story take on a life of its own; it was a story with no edges or boundaries.
In Washington the White House feigned ignorance of the story. They claimed to have no knowledge of it. They refused comment either to confirm or deny. Fox News took their refusal to comment as proof of their guilt. How could the White House possibly not know what was going on under their very noses?
Network correspondents were sent scurrying from Washington to Hollywood attempting to locate others involved in the story. Even in Hollywood where someone is always anxious to get their face in front of the camera, there was silence. That's proof positive, the politicos answered, that something big was up and this was truly a scandal with meat on its bones.
Then an unnamed source verified the initial charges confirming that the story indeed involved the White House and even the President and First Lady. What about the Hollywood angle; was it true? The reporters asked, the source refused to answer, as it was clear that he was treading on thin ice. His voice quivered over the phone and it was obvious to all that he feared for his safety. Whistle blowers have a short life span in Washington and offering up such charges against a sitting President was indeed a dangerous business.
World Net Daily promised a full upcoming expose. They had known of the story all along but were gathering facts before exposing the White House. Matt Drudge knew about it as well but owing promises to sources had remained quiet. Glen Beck, with tears in his eyes, looked towards the camera with chalk in his hand and said, “Didn’t I tell you, America? Didn’t I try to warn you that something like this would happen if you elected Barack Obama? Now we must all suffer along with our children and our children’s children."
Then Rush weighed in, “What can you expect in Socialist America? I’m sure that there are a hundred scandals just like this one covered up by the main stream media. They don’t want you to know, so blame the drive-by media as much as Obama for this mess.”
Finally, as the media pressure reached a fever pitch, the President on Saturday was forced to hold a press conference and take questions. As the President approached the podium, camera shutters clicked and the throng of reporters all shouted their questions to a clearly agitated President.
“Is it true? Are the charges true? Mr. President! Are the charges true?”
The President calmly pointed to an AP reporter in the front row who asked, “Mr. President, charges have been swirling around Washington concerning your conduct in the White House and the conduct of your wife. How would you respond?”
“What charges?” the President answered.
“Specifically, sir, the charges stem from reports that you and your wife had no plans on Friday evening. That after dinner the two of you chose to watch videos and that you bowed to your wife’s viewing selection. Is that true, sir?”
“Yes, it is true,” the President answered. “So what? I'm a husband, it happens all the time.”
The President then took the next question. “Brent.”
“Do you feel it is appropriate for the leader of the free world to let other unelected members of your family make decisions for you, sir?”
“I’m a husband first, and if I want to bring peace to the world I have to start by keeping the peace at home! Yes, you in the back.”
“Sir, were these private videos purchased with your own money, or were these videos purchased with taxpayer funds.”
“I don’t know for sure, it is a video club that my wife joined,” Obama answered.
“Then would it be fair to say, sir, that you cannot handle healthcare reform, two wars and picking out DVDs? That being the case, shouldn’t healthcare reform be placed on the back burner?”
“Mr. President, how many hours per day do you normally watched DVDs? Do you ever make the choices or are they always left to your wife? What other areas do you give over to your wife to decide? Say DVDs today and perhaps NATO command tomorrow?"
Of course this story is a complete and utter fabrication. For the Republicans reading along that means that it never happened. I will go so far as to say that this story is almost as untrue as most of the stories the media promotes. A grain of truth, a pound of sensationalism, a ton of frosting, mix it up in a big bowl and serve it up to the gullible and hungry looking for bad things to say and read about the President.
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