The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 365

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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 365

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 365

May 25, 2009
Lie Of Newt Edition

Just when you thought you'd seen the last of them, Newt Gingrich (1) and Dick Cheney (2) rear their ugly heads. Elsewhere, Michael Steele (3) and The RNC (4,5) plan a big comeback. Don't forget the key!

Newt Gingrich

Last week Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi asserted that the CIA lied to her when she was the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee in 2002, telling her that suspected terrorists had not been waterboarded. The CIA misleading people? Imagine that.

Of course it didn't take long for Republicans to explode in a frenzy of fauxtrage, and http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2009/05/gingrich-pelosi.html">leading the way was former Speaker Newt Gingrich.

"I think she has lied to the House, and I think that the House has an absolute obligation to open an inquiry, and I hope there will be a resolution to investigate her. And I think this is a big deal. I don't think the Speaker of the House can lie to the country on national security matters," Gingrich said.

He continued: "I think this is the most despicable, dishonest and vicious political effort I've seen in my lifetime."

Well he would know about that sort of thing. Anyway, it turns out that Nancy Pelosi isn't the only high-ranking politician who has ever strongly criticized a government agency. Take, for example, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2009/05/when-newt-gingrich-was-condemning-fbi.html">According to The Rude Pundit:

Indeed, Gingrich not only held up an anti-terror bill President Bill Clinton wanted in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing, but he also said on Meet the Press in May 1995, "We have to understand that there is, in rural America, a genuine -- particularly in the West -- a genuine fear of the Federal Government and of Washington, D.C., as a place that doesn't understand their way of life and doesn't understand their values." Gingrich pointed directly to actions by the FBI as to why such "fear" existed. And he supported hearings on what happened at Waco, two years after the fact.

In other words, titanic asshole Newt Gingrich thinks that if Nancy Pelosi says the CIA misleads Congress, it doesn't mean that there should be hearings into the substance of what she's alleging. It means she should resign as Speaker of the House. But when he was Speaker of the House and saying to the media that the FBI was incompetent and a threat to Americans, it didn't mean he was undermining the FBI agents' morale and he should resign. No, then it meant that Congress ought to investigate.

But let's be fair - Newt was criticizing the FBI, not the CIA. Which probably makes it not as bad or something. Now if he had been caught on tape, say, accusing the entire intelligence community of treason, that would probably be a big story.

Wait, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQBZZUSfsr4">what's this?

NEWT GINGRICH AT CPAC 2008: The National Intelligence Estimate on Iran can only be understood as a bureaucratic coup d'état, deliberately designed to undermine the policies of the United States. (applause)

So just to clarify... when Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her during a briefing in 2002, it's "the most despicable, dishonest and vicious political effort" of all time. But when Newt Gingrich accuses the entire intelligence community of deliberately undermining the policies of the United States, he gets a standing ovation.

Funny how that works.

Dick Cheney

For someone who spent the past eight years doing everything he could to avoid being seen in public, former vice president Dick Cheney has sure been out and about a lot lately. Last week he wheezed his way through a speech to the American Enterprise Institute, which, http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/68643.html">according to McClatchy Newspapers, "ignored some inconvenient truths."

Exhibit A:

He quoted the Director of National Intelligence, Adm. Dennis Blair, as saying that the information (from waterboarding) gave U.S. officials a "deeper understanding of the al Qaida organization that was attacking this country."

In a statement April 21, however, Blair said the information "was valuable in some instances" but that "there is no way of knowing whether the same information could have been obtained through other means. The bottom line is that these techniques hurt our image around the world, the damage they have done to our interests far outweighed whatever benefit they gave us and they are not essential to our national security."

Exhibit B:

Cheney said that President Barack Obama's decision to release the four top-secret Bush administration memos on the interrogation techniques was "flatly contrary" to U.S. national security, and would help al Qaida train terrorists in how to resist U.S. interrogations.

However, Blair, who oversees all 16 U.S. intelligence agencies, said in his statement that he recommended the release of the memos, "strongly supported" Obama's decision to prohibit using the controversial methods and that "we do not need these techniques to keep America safe."

Exhibit C:

Cheney denied that there was any connection between the Bush administration's interrogation policies and the abuse of detainee at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison, which he blamed on "a few sadistic guards . . . in violation of American law, military regulations and simple decency."

However, a bipartisan Senate Armed Services Committee report in December traced the abuses at Abu Ghraib to the approval of the techniques by senior Bush administration officials, including former Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld.

Exhibit D:

Cheney said that "only detainees of the highest intelligence value" were subjected to the harsh interrogation techniques, and he cited Khalid Sheikh Mohammad, the alleged mastermind of the 9-11 attacks.

He didn't mention Abu Zubaydah, the first senior al Qaida operative to be captured after 9-11. Former FBI special agent Ali Soufan told a Senate subcommittee last week that his interrogation of Zubaydah using traditional methods elicited crucial information, including Mohammed's alleged role in 9-11.

The decision to use the harsh interrogation methods "was one of the worst and most harmful decisions made in our efforts against al Qaida," Soufan said.

And that's not even half of it - you really should go http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/68643.html">read the whole thing for yourself.

So how did our esteemed news agencies treat this unfortunate spectacle? http://mediamatters.org/research/200905220007">According to Media Matters:

In May 21 reports on former Vice President Dick Cheney's speech that day at the American Enterprise Institute, the CBS Evening News, Fox News' Special Report, CNN's The Situation Room, and ABC's World News all uncritically aired discredited claims Cheney made suggesting that detainees provided information after "enhanced interrogation techniques" were used, and had not provided it before being subjected to those methods. As Media Matters for America has noted, former FBI agent Ali Soufan -- who interrogated Abu Zubaydah -- testified before a Senate Judiciary subcommittee on May 13 about the success of standard interrogation methods, which he contrasted with "ineffective" harsh techniques.

The CBS Evening News and The Situation Room uncritically aired Cheney's claim of harsh interrogation techniques used during the Bush administration: "The interrogations were used on hardened terrorists after other efforts had failed."

Way to go, "liberal media."

Michael Steele

And now, an important announcement from Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele. (The following are all real quotes from his http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/05/19/end_to_era_of_gop_apologizing_96565.html">speech to the RNC State Chairman's Meeting in Maryland last week.)

Steele also enthused at length about the GOP's "new ideas" which would arrive with a "freshness and a boldness that is uncompromising." He didn't actually mention what any of those ideas were, but there you go.

Oh, and in case you were wondering how Steele's dignified opposition and forward-looking approach is working out so far, look no further than http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/22/steele-obama-race/">these comments he made just a day or two after his big speech:

Apparently unable to learn from egregious mistakes from the recent past, RNC Chairman Michael Steele once again took to the radio airwaves today as a guest host for Bill Bennett. Earlier this week, Steele declared "an end to the era of Republicans looking backward." This morning, however, Steele revisited the 2008 election to insist that President Obama had never been "vetted" because the press "fell in love with the black man":

STEELE: The problem that we have with this president is that we don't know (Obama). He was not vetted, folks. ... He was not vetted, because the press fell in love with the black man running for the office. "Oh gee, wouldn't it be neat to do that? Gee, wouldn't it make all of our liberal guilt just go away? We can continue to ride around in our limousines and feel so lucky to live in an America with a black president.

Steele lamented the "missed opportunity" in "dissecting" Rev. Jeremiah Wright's influence on Obama, and "the lessons (Obama) learned at his (Wright's) knee."

Personally I hope this guy is head of the Republican Party for a long, long time.

The RNC

Class and dignity, http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0509/22882.html">here we come!

She's the 69-year-old speaker of the House of Representatives, second in the line of succession and the most powerful woman in U.S. history. But when you see Nancy Pelosi, the Republican National Committee wants you to think "Pussy Galore." At least that's the takeaway from a video released by the committee this week - a video that puts Pelosi side-by-side with the aforementioned villainess from the 1964 James Bond film "Goldfinger."

The RNC video, which begins with the speaker's head in the iconic spy-series gun sight, implies that Pelosi has used her feminine wiles to dodge the truth about whether or not she was briefed by the CIA on the use of waterboarding in 2002. While the P-word is never mentioned directly, in one section the speaker appears in a split screen alongside the Bond nemesis - and the video's tagline is "Democrats Galore."

The wisdom of equating the first woman speaker of the House with a character whose first name also happens to be among the most vulgar terms for a part of the female anatomy might be debated - if the RNC were willing to do so, which it was not. An RNC spokesperson refused repeated requests by POLITICO to explain the point of the video, or the intended connection between Pelosi and Galore.

Fresh ideas, http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2009/05/rnc-launches-da.html">here we come!

The RNC is launching a Web ad on Friday highlighting Democrats' divisions over the future of Guantanamo Bay, ABC News has learned.

The ad intersperses video from one of the most famous and controversial political ads of all time -- Lyndon Johnson's "Daisy" ad from the 1964 presidential campaign against Barry Goldwater.

"To close it? To close it not?" a voice asks several times, with video playing of the little girl from the LBJ ad.

The ad shows several clips of Democrats -- including Obama, Sen. Jim Webb, D-Va., and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev. -- contradicting each other over what the fate of Guantanamo should be.

The Web ad fades with a single word on the screen: "Really?" It does not include the famous mushroom cloud ending.

Yes, apparently the RNC has decided that the most important demographic to go after in the 2010 mid-terms is "people who came of age in 1964."

The RNC

And those weren't the only ridiculous shenanigans going on under the big tent of the Republican National Clownshow last week. Check out the RNC's brand new ObamaCard - "parodying the national debt built up by the stimulus bill," http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/05/rnc-site-obamacard-expires-in-january-2012.php?ref=fpb">according to Talking Points Memo.

I wonder if Michael Steele signed off on this...

Whoops! Cue yet another round of GOP face-palming.

Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove, Colin Powell, and Tom Ridge

I think Republican leaders have finally figured out the problem with their rapidly-shrinking party - it's still too big. Don't worry, they'll have that fixed http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/06/limbaugh-powell-2/">in a jiffy.

LIMBAUGH: (Powell) is out there saying I am killing the Republican party while he endorsed and voted for Obama. ... He's just mad at me because I'm the one person in the country who had the guts to explain his endorsement of Obama. It was purely and solely based on race! There can be no other explanation for it. What Colin Powell needs to do is close the loop and become a Democrat instead of claiming to be a Republican interested in reforming the Republican party.

Sure, Limbaugh can stick the knife in - but it takes a former colleague to give it a http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/cheney-picks-limbaughs-version-of-the-gop-2009-05-10.html">good hard twist.

If forced to pick, former Vice President Dick Cheney said he'd side with conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh over his administration's former Secretary of State, Colin Powell.

"If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican, I'd choose Rush Limbaugh," Cheney said when asked about whose vision of the GOP he'd side with. "My impression was that Colin was no longer a Republican."

Gen. Powell, would you like to http://www.boston.com/news/politics/politicalintelligence/2009/05/powell_to_rush.html">respond?

Colin Powell issued a sharp rebuke Tuesday night to Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney for trying to exclude him from the backbiting Republican Party.

(snip)

"Rush Limbaugh says, 'Get out of the Republican Party.' Dick Cheney says, 'He's already out.' I may be out of their version of the Republican Party, but there's another version of the Republican Party waiting to emerge once again," Powell told the crowd.

I'd sure like to know what version of the Republican Party Powell is talking about - it can't be the one Michael Steele is running - but I'm afraid we don't have time for that. Here comes Rush Limbaugh again...

LIMBAUGH: The only thing emerging here is Colin Powell's ego. Colin Powell represents the stale, the old, the worn-out GOP that never won anything. The party of Gerald Ford, Nelson Rockefeller, Bill Scranton, Arnold Schwarzenegger and those types of people.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/24/rove-sides-with-limbaugh_n_207143.html">Anyone else care to jump in?

Asked to choose Sunday between Rush Limbaugh and Colin Powell as a Republican he could support, former Bush confidant and conservative firebrand Karl Rove sided with the brash talk radio host.

Are you guys done yet? No?

TOM RIDGE: I think a lot of our commentators are being shrill. I mean, I don't disagree --

JOHN KING: Rush?

RIDGE: Yes, Rush Limbaugh has an audience of 20 million people. A lot of people listen daily to him and live by every word. But words mean things and how you use words is very important.

KING: I want to be clear, though. You think Rush is among those being too judgmental, too shrill?

RIDGE: Well, I think Rush articulates his point of view in ways that offend very many.

You know, I could watch this all day.

Donald Rumsfeld and George W. Bush

Just days after 9/11, George W. Bush made the world cringe by http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/1547561.stm">referring to America's response to the attacks as "this crusade." Since a clash of civilizations - a religious war - was exactly what the terrorists who carried out 9/11 were hoping for, it probably wasn't a very good idea to play along. And so after his initial slip, Bush tried to avoid using such language in public.

But who are we kidding - a religious war is exactly what Bush wanted, and his Secretary of Defense knew it. As Think Progress http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/17/rumsfeld-bible-versus/">noted last week, "Starting in the days surrounding the U.S. invasion of Iraq, the cover sheets featured inspirational Bible verses printed over military images." The initial story by GQ magazine says that these reports "were delivered by Rumsfeld himself to the White House." http://men.style.com/gq/features/topsecret">Want to see some?

So there you have it - the war in Iraq wasn't really about WMD disarmament, or regime change, or freeing the Iraqi people, or nation-building, or spreading democracy, or protecting the oil fields from terrorists - all http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2005/08/31/bush_gives_new_reason_for_iraq_war/">stated http://thinkprogress.org/2005/06/21/the-changing-definition-of-mission-in-iraq/">reasons given by the Bush administration for the invasion.

No, it was just good old-fashionied religious warfare. Exactly what Osama bin Laden and friends wanted.

Bill Kristol

Last November the American people turned their backs on conservatism and swept the Republican Party out of power. Since then it has certainly been interesting to observe the media's continued obsession with right-wing pundits who have been consistently proven wrong time and time again. I mean seriously, has Bill Kristol ever been right about anything? And yet day after day, there he is, pontificating on television.

Anyway, Kristol appeared on Fox News's "Special Report With Bret Baier" last week, where he http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/05/19/roundtable_on_the_democrats_and_gitmo_96594.html">revealed that:

...Thursday we will have Obama versus Cheney, which is going to be fun, don't you think? Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, you know.

And I want to say that I was always on Darth Vader's side, even when I saw the movie. And I'm sticking with him.

Really? Because in the Star Wars saga, the character of Darth Vader...

* slaughters women and children
* tries to kill his own son
* tortures people (without even asking them any questions)
* murders his military officers when they screw up
* plots to kill his boss so he can take over as supreme ruler
* commits genocide

...among other things.

But this is probably not surprising coming from Kristol, who is, after all, editor of the Weekly Standard, which in 2002 was responsible for http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp?pg=2">this pathetic defense of Nazi Germany, er, I mean, the Galactic Empire. (Hey, they just wanted the trains to run on time!)

The destruction of Alderaan is often cited as ipso facto proof of the Empire's "evilness" because it seems like mass murder--planeticide, even. As Tarkin prepares to fire the Death Star, Princess Leia implores him to spare the planet, saying, "Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons." Her plea is important, if true.

But the audience has no reason to believe that Leia is telling the truth. In Episode IV, every bit of information she gives the Empire is willfully untrue. In the opening, she tells Darth Vader that she is on a diplomatic mission of mercy, when in fact she is on a spy mission, trying to deliver schematics of the Death Star to the Rebel Alliance. When asked where the Alliance is headquartered, she lies again.

Leia's lies are perfectly defensible--she thinks she's serving the greater good--but they make her wholly unreliable on the question of whether or not Alderaan really is peaceful and defenseless. If anything, since Leia is a high-ranking member of the rebellion and the princess of Alderaan, it would be reasonable to suspect that Alderaan is a front for Rebel activity or at least home to many more spies and insurgents like Leia.

Well gosh, if Alderaan is home to spies and insurgents, clearly the Empire has no choice but to KILL EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE PLANET. Says a fair bit about the neo-con mindset, doesn't it?

So anyway, there you have it. Bill Kristol is on Darth Vader's side. Oh, and by the way, he also knows what's best for America so make sure you pay attention to him...

Kim Hendren

Great news - the GOP has finally gotten themselves a candidate to run for Senate against Blanche Lincoln (D-AR)! Huzzah! Ladies and gentlemen, start your campaign engines. 3... 2... 1...

...http://www.nypost.com/seven/05152009/news/nationalnews/pol_dubs_schumer_that_jew_169439.htm">stall.

A Republican state lawmaker running for the US Senate referred to Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) as "that Jew" during a recent appearance before a GOP group.

(snip)

He said he doesn't remember the exact wording, but he was quoted by conservative blogger Jason Tolbert as calling Schumer "that Jew."

Does Hendren regret it? You bet.

"I shouldn't have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue," Hendren said.

Fortunately Hendren has gained some name recognition out of all this. People may not have been familiar with him before, but at least everyone can now just refer to him as "that jerk."

George W. Bush

And finally: after his mediocre years as a student, skipping out on National Guard duty, bankrupting several businesses, and spending eight long years wrecking the country, Our Great Ex-Leader has at long last found something he's good at - http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/22/george-bush-dog-mess">picking up dog shit.

Bush - who left the White House just over four months ago - told a graduating high school class in New Mexico this week that his readjustment to a normal existence had been brought sharply into relief while taking the dog for a walk and encountering the hazards that entails.

"I realised this was the first time I'd been walking in a neighbourhood for 14 years," he said, according to the Roswell Daily Record. "It's not all that hard, by the way. You take one step, and then you take another."

He said this new life became complicated when his Scottish terrier made a mess. "And there I was, former president of the United States of America, with a plastic bag on my hand," he recalled. "Life is returning back to normal."

Ah, anecdotes. Although knowing Bush, the real story probably ended with him bending down, tripping over Barney's leash, and falling in the crap face first.

The Top 10 will return on Monday, June 8. See you then!

-- EarlG