The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 348

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The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 348

Edited on Mon Aug-11-08 02:01 PM by EarlG

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 348

August 11, 2008
Fool's Gold Edition

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If there was an Olympic competition for Abuse Of Power, the Bush Administration (1) would surely come out on top. Elsewhere, John McCain (2,3,4,5,10) flails around, and Dick Cheney (7) crawls out of his undisclosed location. As usual, don't forget the key!

The Bush Administration

George W. Bush, March 2006: "First, if I might correct a misperception. I don't think we ever said -- at least I know I didn't say -- that there was a direct connection between September the 11th and Saddam Hussein."

Perish the thought. According to Think Progress last week:

A new book by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Ron Suskind claims that, after the Iraq war began, the White House ordered the CIA to forge a "backdated, handwritten letter" from the head of Iraqi intelligence to Saddam Hussein, in an attempt to tie Hussein to the 9/11 attacks.

Fascinating. Tell me more...

Here's what Suskind reports:

* Saddam Hussein's intelligence chief, Tahir Jalil Habbush al-Tikriti, told U.S. and British officials there was no WMD in Iraq, "intelligence they received in plenty of time to stop an invasion."

* In the fall of 2003, the White House ordered CIA Director George Tenet to forge a "fake letter from Habbush to Saddam, backdated to July 1, 2001," Suskind writes. "It said that 9/11 ringleader Mohammad Atta had actually trained for his mission in Iraq" and that Iraq bought yellowcake uranium from Niger with the help of al Qaeda.

* The letter was commissioned "from the highest reaches of the White House." "It would have to come from the very top," Suskind told NPR today.

Wow. Surely that must be illegal.

RON SUSKIND ON CNN'S THE SITUATION ROOM: Well, the way it's framed legally, Wolf, is that the CIA's charter says you cannot run disinformation campaigns on the American public. It's an amendment in 1991. It's in the statute. So that if, ultimately, in Congressional hearings and whatnot, as they go forward -- and there's talk of that in Congress now -- if they're able to show that the White House directed the CIA -- as I show in the book with lots of testimony -- that the CIA was directed by the White House to do this disinformation campaign on this letter, there will be issues of legality that will be debated in terms of high crimes.

So was the letter useful in pressing the case for war?

After the fake letter was released in late 2003, press outlets reported it as evidence of a Saddam/al Qaeda link. "Now, if this is true, that blows the lid off al Qaeda-Saddam," said Bill O'Reilly at the time.

Well that's just great.

John McCain

Look out! John McCain has spent the last few weeks throwing punches at Barack Obama - punches so light, Sen. McCain doesn't appear to have noticed that his opponent has gone on vacation.

Last week's hare-brained scheme was no exception. It seems that the McCain camp is planning to go after Obama as a "job killing machine." A job killing machine, huh? I wonder why would they want to refer to Obama as an emotionless job murderer? What could they possibly have to gain by painting him as someone who performs drive-by shootings on jobs?

I don't know. Anyway, it seems that once again John McCain is destined to play the role of Wile E. Coyote chasking that pesky Roadrunner, as his well-thought-out plan backfires dramatically and catastrophically.

John McCain went on the offensive Thursday in a key battleground state, hoping to blunt criticism that he was indirectly responsible for the possible loss of more than 8,000 jobs in Wilmington, Ohio.

Democrats are trying to pin the economic loss squarely on the McCain campaign, stressing ties between DHL, a global package delivery company, and his campaign manager, Rick Davis.

Five years ago, Davis lobbied Congress to accept a plan by German-owned DHL to buy Wilmington, Ohio-based Airborne Express.

Now, DHL wants to route its packages through Louisville, Ky., a move that would cost southwest Ohio thousands of much-needed jobs.

Maybe you're thinking it's just his campaign manager and McCain isn't directly involved. Well...

On Wednesday, a Cleveland Plain Dealer story reported that Davis and a partner earned nearly $600,000 lobbying the Senate to accept DHL's proposal to buy Airborne Express for $1.05 billion.

Some in Congress feared that allowing a foreign-owned company manage air commerce could threaten national security. Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, tried to insert language prohibiting a foreign-owned carrier from flying military equipment or troops.

McCain, then chairman of the Commerce Committee, objected, arguing that Congress should not limit the Pentagon's choices.

Oh well, it's only Ohio. At least it's not a crucial battleground state or anything like that...

John McCain

And so the McCain campaign slowly dusted itself off, cracked open another box labeled "Acme Do It Yourself Presidential Campaign," and painstakingly assembled the contraption within. Here comes the Roadrunner... 3... 2... 1... Fire!

Democrats pounced on reports Wednesday that a major fundraiser for Florida Gov. Charlie Crist and Republican presidential candidate John McCain had tapped suspiciously apolitical Californians of modest means for thousands of dollars in campaign contributions over the past two years.

Harry Sargeant III, an oil company executive and former fraternity brother of Crist, is at the center of questions about "straw donors" used to circumvent federal limits on contributions.

Subsequently, according to the Associated Press:

John McCain's campaign said Thursday it is returning $50,000 in contributions solicited by a foreign citizen. The move follows the disclosure that the money was being raised by a Jordanian man who is a business partner of prominent Florida Republican Harry Sargeant III, who has collected hundreds of thousands of dollars for McCain.

The New York Times reported Thursday that Sargeant allowed a longtime business partner, Mustafa Abu Naba'a, to bring in some $50,000 in donations in March from members of a single extended family in California, the Abdullahs, along with several of their friends.

Yes, it's another smashing success for the Straight Talk Trainwreck.

John McCain

Who says John McCain can't draw a crowd? Last week the Senior Senator headlined the Sturgis motorcycle rally at the legendary Buffalo Chip campground and spoke before thousands of cheering bikers.

Okay, he didn't headline - he was opening for Kid Rock and American Idol's Kellie Pickler on day three of the nine-day festival. But at least his speech didn't clash with the women's oil wrestling!

The senator clearly knew his audience. First, as the crowd held up signs saying things like "Show UR (breasts) for McCain," (I'm not kidding) he encouraged the assembled bikers to rev their engines, and as gallons of Saudi Arabian gasoline went up in smoke, he declared it to be "the sound of freedom."

Then he began to get crotchety, forcefully demanding that Congress come back into session and take a couple of days to solve the energy crisis. "I am telling you right now we are sending 700 billion dollars (abroad) and your Congress just went on vacation for five weeks," he said. Funny that he waited 26 years to pipe up about this, but there you go.

Finally, Sen. McCain told the crowd, "I was looking at the Sturgis schedule and noticed that you have a beauty pageant and so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."

How delightful! Here are some other lovely ladies attempting to win the coveted title of Miss Buffalo Chip.

So to clarify, Sen. John McCain, who is the Republican candidate for president of the United States, went to a drug- and alcohol-fueled biker orgy where he encouraged the crowd to burn more gasoline before offering his wife up as a contestant in a topless "beauty pageant."

I guess desperate times really do call for desperate measures.

John McCain

While at Sturgis, McCain also decided to trash Barack Obama's suggestion that Americans can help to reduce oil consumption by making sure that their car tires are properly inflated.

"We're not going to pay $4 dollars a gallon for gas (when I am president) because we are going to drill offshore and we are going to drill now. We are doing to drill here and we are going to drill now," he said. "My opponent doesn't want to drill, he doesn't want nuclear power. He wants to inflate your tires."

Now, sure, the Department of Energy estimates that 1.2 billion gallons of gasoline were wasted in 2005 thanks to under-inflated tires. That's a lot of gasoline. And yes, NASCAR also recommends that "smart drivers" check their tire inflation pressure once a month "to maximize tire performance and increase fuel economy." And of course, Obama's suggestion is only one small part of his extremely comprehensive energy plan.

But never mind that. See, checking one's tire pressure would involve getting up off the couch and actually making an effort, and apparently McCain doesn't believe that Americans are ready to make that kind of sacrifice.

Or does he? First there was this:

Over the past few days, McCain's campaign has needled Obama for saying that keeping tires inflated would save more oil than expanding offshore drilling.

Then there was this:

McCain aides are distributing them to the campaign's travelling press corps and back at the HQ they're offering Obama tire gauges in exchange for donors who send in $25. "John McCain says we need offshore oil drilling and we need it now," says campaign manager Rick Davis in an email to supporters. "Senator Barack Obama has consistently opposed offshore drilling - calling it a "gimmick." Senator Obama's solution to high gas prices is telling Americans to make sure their tires are inflated."

And then, after pretty much everyone agreed with Obama's contention that the McCain campaign was taking "pride in being ignorant," there was this:

Republican John McCain appeared to back down on Tuesday in his dispute with his opponent Barack Obama over tire pressure.

(snip)

"Obama said a couple of days ago says we all should inflate our tires. I don't disagree with that. The American Automobile Association strongly recommends it," McCain said.

Well played, senator, well played.

Scott Muschany

It's been a long time since we've had one of these stories - but unfortunately nowhere near long enough. Meet Scott Muschaney, a 42-year-old state representative from Missouri. Scott is married, has two children, and he likes reading, taking walks on the beach, and...

Missouri state Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac, was indicted today in connection with a reported sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl on May 17, the day after this year's Legislative session ended.

The alleged victim is the daughter of a state employee. The girl's mother and Muschany - who is married and has two children - were romantically involved, the woman said.

A Cole County grand jury returned an indictment today charging Muschany with the Class C felony of "deviate sexual assault." The indictment identifies the victim only by initials. It says that on May 17, Muschany "had deviate sexual intercourse" with the girl, "knowing that he did so without" her consent.

(snip)

Muschany surprised many in political circles by announcing in late May that he was not running again this November. At the time he said he wanted to spend more time...

Raping children?

...with his family.

Ah, of course.

Dick Cheney

I'm sure most of you heard the incredibly disturbing rumor last week that Dick Cheney might not speak at the Republican National Convention. Well I have some good news - he is!

Cheney will make an appearance at the party convention in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, as will President Bush.

"The vice president looks forward to participating in the Republican National Convention and continuing to work for the election of Sen. McCain and other Republican candidates in the coming months," spokeswoman Megan Mitchell told the Tribune just now.

Yes folks, it doesn't get any better than this. I'm sure voters can't wait to get a prime-time eyeful of Cheney skulking around behind the podium, up there on the Convention stage. Hey everyone, remember this guy? I know you might have tried to erase him from your memories, but check it out - he's friends with John McCain!

Fantastic.

(By the way, I am especially happy about this announcement because it gives me an excuse to post a link to my favorite YouTube video of all time.)

The Media

The political media spent much of the weekend feasting on the flesh of the John Edwards affair. Let's see... he's not running for president any more, nor is he an elected official. So how could news of Edwards' affair affect coverage of the presidential race? Well, if marital infidelity is suddenly an issue in this campaign, there is one candidate who maybe ought to be discussed - John McCain, who famously cheated on and then dumped his first wife.

Okay media, do your thing!

On the August 8 edition of MSNBC's Race for the White House, host David Gregory baselessly suggested that former Sen. John Edwards' (D-NC) disclosure of an extramarital affair has some relevance to Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Gregory opened the show by saying, "Tonight, more on Edwards and the fallout from his admission today about a sexual affair: Is this another skeleton in the Democratic closet that Barack Obama must struggle to overcome?" Gregory also said that, "now, questions about his future abound in the party and whether this creates another shadow over Barack Obama as he gets ready for the conventions."

Er, right. Well, perhaps we can put more faith in the networks. On Friday, John Edwards granted an interview to ABC, during which he actually brought up McCain's name.

The full version of Bob Woodruff's interview with John Edwards just aired on ABC, figuring Edwards alternately penitent, defensive, and dismissive of the tabloid reports that unearthed his affair.

He also, in explaining his view that his dalliance could remain private, cited Republican John McCain's reported affair at the end of his first marriage almost three decades ago.

"What I was thining was this was something that was personal to my own family," Edwards said, citing other public figures having survived extramarital affairs. He recalled, he said, having heard "John McCain talk about the mistakes that he's made in his past with respect to his first marriage."

"I'm not the first person to do this," he said.

But according to an astute diarist on Daily Kos:

Various news organizations are posting a link to the "full" Nightline transcript but when you click on it, you'll notice that ABC News conventiently posts "select" parts of the transcript.

Additionally, if you go to the ABC News website, you'll be able to see parts of the Nigthline interview not all of it. It conveniently leaves out the part that Edwards takes a shot at McCain's own infedility.

You can check the original video in its entirity on Huffingtonpost.com here. Last night, Nightline didn't have the full video, only today and you have to dig for it among the many options.

Then you can go to the New York Times and The Page and look for the link that says "full trasncript." You will not find the part that Edwards mentions McCain.

Yeesh. Still, it's not like the mainstream media is making a habit of protecting John McCain...

During a CBS interview on Tuesday, John McCain made a stone cold error on a subject about which he claims expert knowledge: the "surge" strategy in Iraq. In an interview with anchor Katie Couric, the Arizona Republican said, inaccurately, that the surge strategy was responsible for the much-touted "Anbar Awakening," in which Sunni sheiks turned against Al Qaeda, helping in turn to reduce violence in the country.

(snip)

Yet McCain's error was not seen by any CBS Evening News viewers. As MSNBC's Keith Olbermann noted, "CBS curiously, to say the least, left it on the edit room floor. It aired Katie Couric's question, but in response, it aired part of McCain's answer to the other question instead."

Oh, right.

George W. Bush

Did you know that Our Great Leader has spent at least two of the last eight years on vacation? According to the Austin American-Statesman:

President Bush's days in office are numbered. And the days he has already spent there have also been carefully numbered by a veteran reporter, yielding an early, raw-data glance at a presidency sure to be analyzed for decades to come.

(snip)

Some are curious: Bush has been to 75 countries (Mexico, Russia and Italy lead with six visits each) and 49 states (no Vermont visit so far).

Some are eyebrow-raising: Bush has spent well over a year at his Crawford, Texas ranch, well over a year at Camp David, and has attended 95 sports-related events.

Fortunately Bush was able to combine his love for travel and sports last week with a jaunt to China for the opening ceremony of the Olympics, where he attempted to send secret signals to his Communist overlords by repeatedly whacking an American flag against his leg in time to the music.

Jeez George, sorry the Parade of Nations is so boring. Bring your PSP next time.

Fortunately it didn't take long for Our Great Leader to figure out how to cure his ennui - here he is later in the week, demonstrating great proficiency in one of his very favorite events...

...Men's Freestyle Intoxicated Staggering.

Looks like he's going for a personal best.

John McCain

And finally, let's check back in with Wile E. McCain and see how the grumpy old bugger is getting on.

John McCain is mocking the oratorical gifts of Barack Obama, recommending that he "should consider someone with a knack for brevity and directness, to balance the ticket."

Gawd, is that it now? We're on to "He uses too many words to be president" as a campaign attack? I guess "He's too thin to be president" wasn't working.

"Taking in my opponent's performances is a little like watching a big summer blockbuster," McCain sneers in his weekly radio address, "and an hour in, realizing that all the best scenes were in the trailer you saw last fall."

Obama delivered the Democrats' officials radio address Saturday, mentioning "Sen. McCain" four times during a policy remarks about Iraq and balancing the budget. McCain snarks at Obama 10 times in his own address.

McCain's gibe about a less windy running mate is part of a continuing effort by the Republican's presidential campaign to turn Obama's strengths against him.

Which isn't working so far; might as well keep doing more of it.

Actually it turns out that McCain is playing politics by the book - his intent is to raise expectations for Barack Obama's acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention later this month, and to lower expectations for his own speech.

Talking to donors yesterday in Des Moines, the GOP nominee hyped his rival.

"I know, by the way, and you know, that Sen. Obama will give a great speech at their convention before 75,000 people in Denver, and I don't expect to match up to that," McCain said at a fundraiser.

And this morning, on his weekly radio address, he went even further.

"As you may know, the Democratic National Convention is just a couple of weeks away," McCain said at the outset of his talk. "It was four years ago, at the same gathering, that America heard a fine speech from an Illinois state senator named Barack Obama. He's done pretty well for himself since then. And the smart money in Denver is on another celebrated performance."

There are just three problems with this plan:

1) Every time McCain has challenged Obama, Obama has exceeded expectations. Look at his recent overseas trip, for example.

2) This isn't just any old speech. Obama will be the first African-American to accept the presidential nomination of a major political party. He'll be standing in front of 75,000 cheering Democrats. Did I mention it's taking place on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech? Expectations are already sky-high.

3) Going purely on past experience, is anyone not expecting Barack Obama to knock this speech out of the park?

So thanks, Sen. McCain, for giving just a little extra publicity to what surely will be a celebrated performance by Barack Obama. I'll agree with you on one thing though: your acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention is indeed going to reek by comparison.

The Top 10 will return in two weeks, on August 25. See you then!

-- EarlG