The Chinese Toy

[Daveparts]

With Santa and his elves working mightily at the workshop you might be surprised to find that’s Santa’s elves are Chinese. They are rural people mainly young people coming to work in the toy factory because Santa pays such high wages. Fifty cents an hour, I know that sounds low by western standards but they have 100% medical care and retirement. You don’t get to be Santa by being stupid you see Santa outsourced the workshop several years ago and opened a Chinese firm. With his merchandising rights and the off shore tax advantages the big man is jollier than ever!

You see it works like this, Santa orders a toy made in his workshop for two dollars and has it shipped to the U.S. with the total cost being three dollars. It cost Santa a dollar to actually make the toy so he makes one dollar on each toy. That doesn’t sound like much but remember what kind of volume the fat man does. Say he sells five million super racecars sets and seven million Dolly dream houses that’s twelve million dollars and that’s just the beginning! Now you take that three-dollar toy and you sell it to Wal-Mart for five dollars that’s another twenty four million dollars! Ho! Ho! Ho!
No wonder this man is jolly!

Wal-Mart home of low prices and even lower wages sells the toy for ten dollars! Boy are they laughing up their sleeve at the rube in the red suit. They made five dollars on the toy Santa only made two and if the truth be known that Santa owned the factory three. But Wal-Mart doesn’t have to provide 100% healthcare or retirement after all they’re not Santa Claus. You know what you call that? That my friends is GDP Gross domestic product with the emphasis on gross.

Every time Wal-Mart sells that toy it adds five dollars to the GDP not only that! It’s worker productivity! As your Wal-Mart sales associate rings up your Chinese made purchases the profit is added up, ten toys an hour fifty dollars less five or six dollars and hour wages he or she has generated $44.00 for the GDP That worker is a dynamo a regular money machine. And don’t forget Santa made $2.00 selling them to the bandits of Bensenville.

Now President Bush like members of Congress would hate to end up on Santa’s naughty list because any sort of trade restrictions would be bad for Santa and he’s making a list and checking it twice! But more than upsetting the old timer it’s because they love America. (Flags and patriotic music here!) In 2005 the US imported 285 billion dollars worth of Chinese imports. TEST. If Wal-Mart made $5.00 on a $5.00 investment what would you expect importers to make on a 285 billion dollar investment? Now we exported 41.5 billon dollars in exports to China and just like Santa we made a profit on both sides. Ho! Ho! Ho! is the picture getting clearer? Even if they wanted to impose restrictions that would be bad for America! Billions of dollars in GDP gone!
Worker productivity slashed! Wall Street would panic!

So that won’t happen but the administration just sent there top trade negotiator to China and he vows to set them straight! And if you believe that, you probably believe in Santa Claus