Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

[Daveparts]

Who is the greatest leader of them all? While America sets her clocks forward our own beltway Pagliacci sets his clock backwards. He longs for the good old days for his own personal Nuremberg rallies with its cheering throngs with their unquestioning belief in his Holy continence. He longs for the glory days and like the bored fat Elvis he calls the Colonel to demand work.


As Carl tries with stealth and sensitivity to explain, we are not welcome in Europe sire don’t you remember? The Dark Lord Cheney was treated quite poorly in Australia and we were just in Asia. Sire, you have none deemed trustworthy left to speak to. You could speak to the troops again but with the Walter Reed Hospital affair we can’t even count on their loyalty any longer and besides it would be difficult to raise a crowd of them outside the hospital they’re most all deployed already.


Hush Carl, I Caesar have spoken with the Gods and they have asked me to shine my continence on Latin America! Mirror mirror on the wall who is the greatest leader of them all? “You lord are great and fair and I risk my destruction to challenge your vacant stare, but if you are to trust me then I must. There is another who has become great with toil for he has oil and his image has left you in the dust for he has built among his neighbors an image of good works and trust.


It is decided then for I am God’s decider, I shall smile upon my dominions in the south and they will see my greatness and fall prostrate at my feet. The sawdust Caesar is buried far too deeply in the Fuehrer bunker to hear the shells of scorn of disbelief ridicule and cynicism as they land around him. He is hunched over his maps five thousand miles from the front line pushing his pawns and demanding success, one more surge he insists and Stalingrade will be ours. Or some general’s head will roll; for this Napoleon of El Notre is infallible does not God ask his advice? “I shall tell them,


''I bring the goodwill of the United States to South America and Central America. That's why I'm here,'' said Bush,


''I don't think America gets enough credit for trying to help improve people's lives. And so my trip is to explain, as clearly as I can, that our nation is generous and compassionate.''


How can your minions not love me? We have given you .13 cent an hour jobs and attack helicopters. We have lent you money asking only for repayment and your sovereignty in return, And most important as the continental Caligula of the North who condones torture in my name, “I have come to share my message of individual dignity throughout my err your lands”


"I would call our diplomacy quiet and effective diplomacy -- diplomacy all aimed at helping people, aimed at elevating the human condition, aimed at expressing the great compassion of the American people," Yes, South America is far from the fences of Guantonamo but the South Americans have finely attuned senses to the great compassion of the American people. They know of it in Panama and in Chile and El Salvador they know of it in Nicaragua and Argentina.


"My trip down here is to remind our country that South America, Latin America are good places to invest, particularly in countries that adhere to rule of law and are transparent and believe in the fundamentals of freedom,"


The Darth Vader of D.C.’s six-day trip will end with conservative allies in Guatemala and Mexico. Ignoring the fresh basket of Apples sent to him Hugo Chavez travels to Bolivia to visit flood-ravaged areas on Saturday. Chavez feels confident the little horn of the Beast would never show his face in any flood raved area and besides the beltway Billy the Kid must visit his alter ego in Columbia his twin brother from a different mother.


Born on the fourth of July in 1952 Alvaro Uribe Velez Jr. is now President of Columbia, he is the son of Alvaro Uribe Senior who was arrested and convicted of drug trafficking in 1982 when Alvaro junior was thirty years old. Juniors illustrious career in public service begins when he was the manager of the Columbian Civil Aeronautics board a post from which he was removed from during a scandal when he issued pilots licenses to members of the Medellin drug cartel. You know they would have to get along great they have so much in common, George used to make large quantities of cocaine disappear in the eighties too! You know, maybe have a few laughs maybe compare family crime records twin sons of different mothers!


But our hero in 1983 sharpened his public service skills by? A. Becoming a tough crime busting district attorney or B. Becoming the mayor of Medellin? Look at your bracelet WWGD and ask what yourself what would George do? And our final Jeopardy answer is, “Who was the Mayor of Medellin when Pablo Escobar was at his peek of cocaine smuggling career?” but once again he was removed from office for being too good a mayor to Medellin’s number one citizen Pablo Escobar. Then he became a Senator and championed a new law curtailing social security benefits to the poor.


You know if I didn’t know better I’d swear they were related. He’s worked to pass laws making it illegal to strike or even to protest.
That’s why our rootin tootin six-gun Crawford cowboy is coming to visit his pal, who has now been accused of using the 4.7 billion in US compassion to arm rightwing paramilitaries.


Many have condemned our continued compassion to the forty year old civil/oil war but Jorge is no fair whether Fuehrer he knows well when we gave them 4.7 billion dollars in weapons its because we expected them to kill people with them. If we wished otherwise we would have given them doctors and aide to the poor but because we want them to follow our example we couldn’t do that. Only Communists and leftist’s like Chavez and Castro send doctors and financial assistance to the poor in Latin America.


They loved me Carl, didn’t they? “Yes sire, they loved you.” Could they see my sincerity Carl? “Yes, sire yes well.” “Did you send the Apples Carl?” “Yes sire,” “Then I’m ready for my close up Mr. Deville, mirror mirror on the wall who is the greatest leader of them all? I said, mirror mirror on the wall” “Yes yes I heard you and you can say it until your blue you can say it a hundred thousand times but it still won’t make it true, the only thing for certain in this world is it’s damn sure not you!” “Carl?” “Yes sire” “the mirror is broken” “again sire?” “Yes again, I’ll be in my room waiting for the worms to come” “yes sire”

[donsu]

1. excellent!

and oh so true