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The following are excerpts from a brilliant satirical piece by columnist Bill White of the Allentown Morning Call (the 4th largest paper in PA). Unfortunately, the text has not been posted on the newspaper's www.mcall.com website.
The column starts off with Santorum welcoming a campaign consultant to his home in Virginia. The consultant is there to provide an assessment of assets and challenges in Santorum's campaign. The consultant then offers the following comments:
"... there's your non-residency, and your gall in sticking taxpayers of your former school district with a $38,000 annual cyberschool bill for your kids, who live with you here in Virginia... There are your ugly statements about homosexuals, and your contemptible attempt to make political hay from the Terry Schiavo tragedy. You're a wholly owned subsidiary of the special interest groups that have poured money into your campaigns. By all appearances, you were up to your elbows in the infamous K Street Project, a plot to force lobbyists to hire Republican friends and cronies in exchange for special access... You oppose federal funding for research into embryonic stem cells, a position that makes sense only to people on the extreme right and those pandering to them. ... You have supported fiscal policies that created humongous deficits by annually slashing taxes for the richest Americans in the midst of massive new spending. ... You're even claiming we found weapons of mass destruction. It insults voters' intelligence. "
"I'm a fiscal conservative," Santorum pointed out.
"Only under the most Orwellian standards..."
"...You are sufficiently ruthless to savage your opponent with distorted attack ads, pummeling the public until they're so disgusted they won't bother to vote," the consultant said...
"What about my book?" asked Santorum.
"You should buy up every copy and burn them."...
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