The High Cost of Manliness- Robert Jensen

[Jcrowley]

That dominant conception of masculinity in U.S. culture is easily summarized: Men are assumed to be naturally competitive and aggressive, and being a real man is therefore marked by the struggle for control, conquest and domination. A man looks at the world, sees what he wants and takes it. Men who don't measure up are wimps, sissies, fags, girls. The worst insult one man can hurl at another -- whether it's boys on the playground or CEOs in the boardroom -- is the accusation that a man is like a woman. Although the culture acknowledges that men can in some situations have traits traditionally associated with women (caring, compassion, tenderness), in the end it is men's strength-expressed-as-toughness that defines us and must trump any female-like softness. Those aspects of masculinity must prevail for a man to be a "real man."

That's not to suggest, of course, that every man adopts that view of masculinity. But it is endorsed in key institutions and activities -- most notably in business, the military and athletics -- and is reinforced through the mass media. It is particularly expressed in the way men -- straight and gay alike -- talk about sexuality and act sexually. And our culture's male heroes reflect those characteristics: They most often are men who take charge rather than seek consensus, seize power rather than look for ways to share it and are willing to be violent to achieve their goals.

That view of masculinity is dangerous for women. It leads men to seek to control "their" women and define their own pleasure in that control, which leads to epidemic levels of rape and battery. But this view of masculinity is toxic for men as well.

If masculinity is defined as conquest, it means that men will always struggle with each other for dominance. In a system premised on hierarchy and power, there can be only one king of the hill. Every other man must in some way be subordinated to the king, and the king has to always be nervous about who is coming up that hill to get him. A friend who once worked on Wall Street -- one of the preeminent sites of masculine competition -- described coming to work as like walking into a knife fight when all the good spots along the wall were taken. Masculinity like this is life lived as endless competition and threat.

http://www.trinicenter.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1491

[Gman]

1. My wife and I were walking our dogs last night

and we walked past a yard that has 2 male Labs. One was trying to mount the other. She said, that one's trying to show dominance. You get my drift... it's no different.

What the article does not discuss is that in a world where men are threatened, it's my opinion that men resort to this behavior because they don't feel they have any other recourse. This may not always be a conscious feeling. That perceived lack of recourse then generates insecurity. Faced with the undesirable feeling of insecurity, men then resort to the most base instincts which are deeply ingrained in their DNA. If on the trading floor on Wall Street the trader was completely confident that he was the best trader there, or even if he were confident that his abilities would allow him to not only survive but to prosper, he would not resort to aggressive behavior as he wouldn't need to. This is rational behavior.

Of course men aren't always rational and there are the men who have superior ability and are confident in their ability but will also use those abilities in a way not unlike the two male dogs mentioned above. However, I feel that behavior reveals some other kind of deeper insecurity that the guy is using his abilities to compensate for. Does this also mean the dog that was trying to be dominant feels insecure in some way? I think possibly. Possibly, on some level, he sees the other male dog as a threat. It may over food issues, or shelter issues. But the dog feels he must demonstrate that he will not be dominated by the other.

[Jcrowley]

6. There are many levels to this

I have often noticed men's unwillingness to grant that they are overprivileged, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged. They may say they will work to women's statutes, in the society, the university, or the curriculum, but they can't or won't support the idea of lessening men's. Denials that amount to taboos surround the subject of advantages that men gain from women's disadvantages. These denials protect male privilege from being fully acknowledged, lessened, or ended.

[meow2u3]

2. I call this the animal model of masculinity

This attitude of hypercompetitiveness, obsession with conquest and domination of others, and total lack of cooperation is the epitome of a nonhuman animal. Any wild animal can be masculine by this definition; it takes a real man to rise above "masculinity."

[skids]

3. All I know from my sundry relationships...

...Is if you really want to see brutal competitiveness, watch two women fight over a man. Men cannot hold a candle to that level of pure brutality. :evilgrin:

[xchrom]

4. i love men.

for me -- men are terrific -- wonderful.

and i love being a guy.

[htuttle]

5. 80% of interactions between males...

...would best be accomplished down on all fours, barking loudly.

Just be glad we stopped pissing on everything to mark it all the time...at least we seem to be getting *somewhere* over the millenia.

[Gman]

7. When my wife and I were dating

she got "mad" because she felt some girl in our group was paying too much attention to me and she felt that I was paying too much attention to her (which was my trying to not be rude to her, but I dig the hole deeper...). In any event, she walked off and began playing pool in another room with some guy there. I went to the bar, bought her another drink, brought it to her, set it down and without saying a word, kissed her gently on the lips and walked off. She acted "mad" for a while then came back lecturing me about how I in essence went in there hiked my leg on her and marked her as my property. To which I basicly replied that I guess she was basicly correct. We still laugh about that and she loves to tell that anecdote as an example of men's behavior.