Taxi, Senator Burns?

[Don Davis]

In yet another of his grotesque exhibitions of ignorance and stupidity, GOP Senator Conrad Burns of Montana has alleged that “terrorists drive taxis by day, and kill by night.”

The truth, however, as any schoolchild can tell you, is that taxi drivers are much worse than terrorists, and actually do most of their killing by day.

In fact, Local 72 Virgins of the International Brotherhood of Terrorists has issued a strong denunciation of Senator Burns, stating that he slandered them by unfairly comparing terrorists to taxi drivers.

A spokesman for the terrorist trade union, al-Check-off Mahdues, asserted that most taxi drivers were actually kicked out of the Terrorist Academy, for being too reckless to transport explosives.

Other taxi drivers flunked out for taking the longest route between the bomb pick-up and their destination, therefore increasing the chance of being caught by the authorities.

The union spokesman also claimed that unlike taxi drivers, who rarely seem to have change, terrorists are never short of dollar bills, based on their visits to strip clubs immediately prior to their dates with martyrdom.

But the biggest difference, maintained Mr. Mahdues, is that taxi drivers simply have no guts: “While terrorists are willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause of Allah, taxi drivers won’t even venture into black neighborhoods.” “Indeed,” he added, “the only thing taxi drivers are willing to sacrifice are the vowels in their name.”

[nosillies]

1. Thanks for starting my morning with a laugh!

:rofl: