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In the biggest safety recall to date, the Consumer Product Safety Commission today issued a recall of President Bush, because of his capacity to cause the entire world to erupt into flames.
Citing Iraq, New Orleans, Lebanon, and the possibility of Iran, the safety commission accomplished what neither the GOP-controlled Congress nor the Special Prosecutor would: take Bush out of service.
Previously, only Bush himself, with the help of his own father, was able to achieve this result.
However, in marked contrast to the recall of batteries found in Dell notebook computers, which are lithium-based, the problem with Bush appears to be that he needs lithium, a drug commonly used to battle bi-polar disorder. Medical experts are hopeful that lithium will also be effective to treat uni-polar disorder, which more accurately reflects Bush’s delusional view of the U.S. world role.
While the recall of Bush leaves the world in the even more precarious hands of Dick Cheney, a recall of the Veep appears unlikely unless there is another OPEC boycott, since Cheney runs on oil.
In addition, the Consumer Product Safety Commission also ruled that any release of Bush back into the public arena must be accompanied by the conspicuous warning: “DUDE, YOU’RE GETTING A HELL.”
In related news, Seymour Hersh’s computer was recalled today by the Defense Department, on the grounds that it was full of Pentagon spyware.
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